"No, No Charge"
I said at the bar
in a foreign language

-as he handed me the coconut-

Butting heads
Throwing checks- and chips
across the felt table

the burn
as the shots go down
dont hurt- I turn and say

"Me no parle anglaise"

and she grabbed my hand
in the caffeinated stance
I assumed the trance
and joined the adjacent positions
The bridge
of her nose
disappeared and I continued to ignore the impulsive thoughts I had

So I read up on the positive qualities of coffee
and thought about meaningless ***
contemplated prostitutes- the idea of course-, and laughed in cautious blues  
I thought of one night stands- the ones she would want to have-
and how little they meant
and how insignificant liberty is really
like the empty bottom of a 12 inch tom

But the pounding
and drumming
are coming from my head. no where else
for a man - who wanders in another place- and expects
to know where he's headed.

I told her I wanted to be an actress
She said I wouldn't make it
She said I ****** at acting
Funny thing is
She has no idea I act happy everyday

I heard a lyric today
It said,
"I don't like Time"
I think I understand that
But I can't tell if I like it or not...
I like it when it's moving fast,
but only when I'm at work
God forbid it's moving quickly during my
free time.

I don't mind getting older,
but sometimes I hate it when
people age with me.
Like...My little cousin just graduated college.
When did that happen? Wasn't she in 3rd grade yesterday?
When did she get so mature...and when did I get this old?

Time is strange, but I'm strange too.
I guess we'll just be strange together.
Since there is no divorcing time,
my perpetual wedding ring
is worn in the folds of my skin.

Grown-ups were supposed
To be good role models; then,
You realize they're not.

He said that I looked
Pretty, as a compliment
But it made me doubt;
I felt that he shouldn't have
It made me feel insecure.

Today I had a realization
Something I had never done
Until you came into my life
I remember clear as day
Asking for a piece of gum
"Don't take the outside pieces!"
I never understood your logic
but followed this absurd rule of yours

Today I was taking a piece of gum
out of the pack and there were only
a few pieces left in the box
all the remaining strips
were on the outside

So even though I don't see you
talk to you, think about you, or
even love you anymore
I realized that our time together
has inherently imprinted on me
And though you are
no longer a part of my life
I still carry these small pieces
of you with me  

At first this upset me
Since I don't really want
anything to do with you
but the more i thought about it
the more I realized
that you are not the only one
And the more okay I am
carrying pieces of people
who have helped mold me
into the woman that I am
and the woman that I love.