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K J Jun 2014
You do this to me
every time
the winks
your hand brushing
my waist

You know I can't
the time for us has
left us
we need to find
normalcy between
our feelings

I'm not gonna lie
sometimes I want to
and you break my heart
a little bit every time
you say those words to me

I've stopped counting
the chances I've given you
and you squandered them all
now there are none left to give
now I am with another
now I am trying to live in my present
but not forget our past
now is when you choose to act

and yet, are you really?
drunken whispers in my ear
the secret I love yous
before you return home to
your girlfriend
whom (as you've reminded me)
you don't love

I love my boyfriend
and while I will always have
hidden feelings for you
I could never trust my heart to you
like I do with him
he is warm, comforting, and safe
you are drama encompassed

You need to let me go
because I can't keep doing this
you keep cracking my heart
please see that you have exhausted me
please just let me be happy
I will not cheat on him with you
I will not leave him for you
I just want things to be normal again
But I don't think you'll allow them to be
K J Apr 2014
Flinger fargen
Bo kindres parben
den randf er morgen
blenk ting er horfen

JORP! Ein blaord fa
Rands er yozard dentra
parben bo floken wretha
O borben er tien jorta
K J Apr 2014
Today I had a realization
Something I had never done
Until you came into my life
I remember clear as day
Asking for a piece of gum
"Don't take the outside pieces!"
I never understood your logic
but followed this absurd rule of yours

Today I was taking a piece of gum
out of the pack and there were only
a few pieces left in the box
all the remaining strips
were on the outside

So even though I don't see you
talk to you, think about you, or
even love you anymore
I realized that our time together
has inherently imprinted on me
And though you are
no longer a part of my life
I still carry these small pieces
of you with me  

At first this upset me
Since I don't really want
anything to do with you
but the more i thought about it
the more I realized
that you are not the only one
And the more okay I am
carrying pieces of people
who have helped mold me
into the woman that I am
and the woman that I love.
K J Apr 2014
I heard a lyric today
It said,
"I don't like Time"
I think I understand that
But I can't tell if I like it or not...
I like it when it's moving fast,
but only when I'm at work
God forbid it's moving quickly during my
free time.

I don't mind getting older,
but sometimes I hate it when
people age with me.
Like...My little cousin just graduated college.
When did that happen? Wasn't she in 3rd grade yesterday?
When did she get so mature...and when did I get this old?

Time is strange, but I'm strange too.
I guess we'll just be strange together.
Since there is no divorcing time,
my perpetual wedding ring
is worn in the folds of my skin.
K J Mar 2014
You didn't say Hi
You didn't ask me
If I am well
Why would you care anyways
In your larger than life - Life
that you're living in the Big Apple
You just wanted to tell me
that you were nominated for an Emmy
how blessed I am know know someone
who was nominated for an Emmy
I congratulated you
in the nicest way I could
and told you about the boring things
I've been up to
and you didn't respond
why should you
you are an Emmy nominee
living in NYC
and I am just Kimmie
who lives in Rhode Island
and has a normal 9-5 job

But you know what
I will never apologize for
who I am
and what I've done
no matter how small or
insignificant they seem to you

I will always remember you
as the gothic boy from high school
you were weird and I liked you
you made me laugh
and I never judged you

What right do you have
to judge me now
Well congratulations
You've done it
You've proven that
you're better than
the rest of us

You have done amazing things
Yes, you are going to have
the most amazing career
and I am genuinely happy for you
and you should be proud
but maybe
just maybe
stop ******* to yourself

Even though my life
might seem small to yours
in comparison
I am very happy
I love the simplicity of my life
and I would never in a million years
trade it for yours

So you live your BIG life Alex
or do people call you Samuel now?
And I will live my simple one
Have fun at the Emmy's next year
I'll probably be playing my Xbox
because let's face it...watching the Emmy's
is pretty boring...
K J Mar 2014
Raised in the midst of war
You stubborn, tenacious, little girl
You saved your friends
and lost your family
You rode on the top of trains
to make room for the sick
and the elderly

You met an American Soldier
Who had a big mustache and
a long face
You didn't know English, but
you fell in love with him

The odds were against you
but still you moved across
the ocean
To a place that didn't
understand you or
the way you spoke, or the way
you looked.

You had a little girl who died
and your racist Mother-in-law
crudely said,
"Wake up, your baby is dead."

You had four more daughters
Your husband was always away
And yet you had time to make
Hot breakfast every morning
sew 17 dresses in one summer
and never complain

Your daughters grew up
and gave you 8 grandchildren
we were your light
and you made us laugh
and taught us how to be strong
in the face of adversity

For 7 years you fought this illness
and in all those 7 years
of over 60 blood transfusions
and practically living
from hospital to hospital
you were patient and you never
once lost your spirit.

Even in our last day together
You held my hand with so much strength
though your body was weak and failing you
In your hand I felt all the love you had for me
All the love you had for our family
and I know you did everything for us

I miss the way you swear
your tenacious strength
your incredible tenderness
holding your hand
feeling comfort in your quiet presence

Even though you're gone
and I will never see you again,
I feel you. I feel you in my heart
I feel you in my hands, I feel you
in my soul. I feel you every time
I stand up to some one and tell them

You always said, "I'm a rich woman"
because you had us. You told me,
"If I asked for anything more,
I would be greedy."
The reality is, we were all rich because
we had you.
I am so grateful for you. I miss you.
I love you.
My Grandmother, who immigrated to America from South Korea in the 50s, passed away on March 1st, 2014. She was the strongest, feistiest person I knew. I wanted to capture her spirit.
K J Feb 2014
Signing hands
simple words
masked in complex

We are happy
but I am in a funk
I'm just trying to
I think?

I'm not sad,
far from it
I'm just feeling
complacent maybe?
or dormant, and
a little bored
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