These urges keep coursing through my mind.
The feelings it brought the sensation I felt.
It was my own personal drug that no one will take. 
My body tingles as the feeling of it comes running through my head and i can almost feel it .
But almost isn't enough.
I need it, I crave it, it was the one thing keeping me sane.
And it's been gone for so long it frightens me.
The thought  of never feeling it again.
So I whisper as I stand alone in my room my hands shaking in anticipation "Just one more time, one more time and I'll stop.
  No one has to know it'll be our little secret.

Drip
  Drop
Drip
  Drop

Is the sound of your blood dripping down your arm and falling to the ground.
The tears are filling your eyes as you look down at the mess you've made.
It burns, the wounds they hurt, and yet you want to add more.
Your hands are shaking with adrenaline as you bring the razor to your arm.
"Just one more ." You whisper pushing the metal into your flesh .
The tears haven fallen now coming in waves. Your vision is blurred and you can't see correctly.

Slice.

"Ouch." You gasp.
It's worse then before, the pain it's crippling.
Blood in pouring out of you're arm now and the floor is stained red .
You're gasping for breath panicking as you realize you cut to deep.
"No."  You groan chocking back sobs when you realize you hit a vain. 
"I don't want to die." You sob falling to your knees as your body grows weak. Your fighting the urge to shut your eyes as you slowly fall to your back.
"Help!" You whisper yell before the darkness consumes you.

Drip
  Drop
Drip
  Drop

What happened to my happiness? To the days that were OK and my smiles were genuine. Oh, that's right I grew up and saw the darkness of the world. That little girl who used to love playing with dolls and sing is no more. All that's left of her is a broken shell. She wears a broken smile upon her lips. And the metal has touched her skin  to many times. The light has died inside of her and all that's left is a cold dark shell of something that can never be fixed.

She is the girl with the broken smile....

Do you know what it feels like to live with this pain, the pain of your body going numb or the shocks of lightening that spread throughout your body. This feeling of helplessness when you realize you dont what the **** is wrong with you all you know is that every time it happens you want to curl in a ball and cry, everyday is getting worse and these pills arent working. Your vision starts to haze and your breathing starts to come out in pants your chest is crying in pain and the next thing you know your throat and face swell up. Your crying in pain but your trying to hide it from everyone, but those little random episodes start to stay longer than before 1 minute turns to 30 and 30 minutes turn into 3 hours you cant walk you can barely talk and there is absolutely nothing you can do to help ease the pain. Your just left a crying mess without hope...

I feel it around me

Eating at my soul

Giving me these thoughts

Thoughts of suicide

Thoughts of hatred

Thoughts of pain

Because of it I cry each each day

Because of it I'm depressed

Because of him I'm trapped

He's got me in his trap

And he's suffocating me

Squeezing me and laughing

Laughing because i fell

Into the the clutches of hell

Into the hands of the devil

He's got me in his trap

And he's after you

But will you make the same mistake?

Will you willingly go

Will you take the devils hand and let him win

Back against the wall, lights off, door locked and Black Veil Brides blasting through the stereo.

It's just a empty room right?

Wrong look in the corner, no not the one with the light, the one where it's pitch black.

Now look closely do you see her, the girl who's all alone.

No?

Then pay closer attention, her head is burried in between her knee's and her body's violently shaking from the sobs that betray her.

Shes crying from the pain .

Pain she's endured for so long.

Its gotten to her.

The words they spit at her, the looks of disqueste, the fights with her parents that seem to be getting worse.

She doesn't know what to do anymore she's tried it all drugs,self harm,music,writing!

Anything that might stop or at least help the pain she feels.

The girl lifts her head and stares at the ground next to her.

To the right of her is a razor and to the left is a rope.

She grabs the razor and runs it across her leg.

Its deep, the cut, deeper than the rest.

She wipes some of the blood on her hand and writes on the wall.

IM SORRY IM USELESS

Now with tears running down her face she grabs the rope and ties it to the ceiling fan.

She steps on a chair and slowly puts the rope around her neck.

She wipes her eyes and whispers I'm  sorry before stepping off the chair.

"I can't do this anymore!" She screams slidding down the wall burying her head in her knees.

"Then stop fighting us" The voices in her head whisper.

"I can't give in!" She crys grabbing fist fulls of her hair.

"Give in no one will miss you." They tell her.

"No, please stop." She beggs.

"Your worthless"
"Ugly"
"A waste of space"
"A mistake"

She harshly wipes her tears away and stands up. She starts walking towards her closet.

"Fat"
"A nobody "
"Loser"

She opens the closet door and looks for the 'box'.

"**** yourself " the voices chant.

She grabs the box and opens the lid. She pulls out a gun and a heart breaking sob betrays her.

"Hurry before its to late"

Knock-knock

Someone knocks on her door as she loads the gun and points it at her head.

"Sweet heart dinners rea...NOO!" Her mother screams as she pulls the trigger.