Nowhere to run,
hiding in plain sight.
Some of us live solitary
with people strewn about us
more like decorations of meat,
some of us crash into others
and stick on a molecular level.
We turn ourselves into monsters
of the bonds we craft;
mutants of desire.
Love without reason or understanding.
It's the only lesson I can't teach you;
the only freedom you may ever realize.
Hide in plain sight and love recklessly,
fall comes on it's own terms.

There is a monster
inside me
that I inherited
from my father
The only thing
he's given me
I'd like to think I'm stronger
than that last drink
that puts me over the edge
that last drink
that makes everyone my friend
that last drink
that makes me slam and shout
that last drink
that lets the monster out

But I'm not.

I've grown far too old for this body
and dragging these bones feels like a constant battle

I tire of the Venice Beach lifestyle
all the ******* romances,
those hot sandy beaches
and one night stands,
strange sunburnt embraces
and sideways glances,

won't you take me to Paris?
where the skies bleed in colours
with its cobbled streets,
cafés and nicotine tainted prophets
where the dreamers dream deeper
and the kisses are sweeter.

maybe you were only saying those things because it was the middle of the night
and the moon made you delirious
but can i say them back in the middle of the day
when the sun makes me high?

I dreamed of tomorrow
But chased my yesterday
I wear my heart like a dried ink stain
Black and misshapen
I like to pretend it didn't happen
Some things bring it all back
Memories fatally attack
A scent
A stray thought
Frozen on the floor
Trembling in knots
Perhaps I really am that *****
I know not when I became filled with such rot

© 2014 Peach

our college lists intersect
only once
and i wonder if
i can take that as a metaphor
for the way our lives
will run parallel
to each other
but never, again,
perpendicular
and i wonder if
the thought
will ever cease
depressing me.

to be distanced.
to be aloof.
to be that wolf.
with my pack,
who supports my back.

Swallow your anxiety. Gulp it down and let it pool in your gullet, clouding your mind, sticking to your guts and swarming your insides. Allow it to spill out between your clenched teeth onto the flowers below you, white worry pooling at your feet and seeping into the concrete. Let it drain and drown you, crack your back and bleed you out, because its planted on your b-side - underneath your fingernails, behind your eyes, a second skin, like sticky soap in your hair.