"Are you okay?"

My breath quickens,
And my heart races
What can I do?
What should I say?

My mind runs in circles,
And my hands begin to shake.
Why is he asking?
Does he actually care?

My posture starts to shift,
And my eyes begin to dart.
How should I act?
Why did you ask?

Inside I start to scream,
I don't know,
I don't know,
I don't know!

Outside I calmly state,
"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I gtg"
"Brb"
"Ttyl"
"I'll message you later"
"I'll get back to you"
"I'm busy atm"
"I can't talk rn"
**** your lies.
If you're so busy then what is with those 20 posts about being alone? You wouldn't be alone if you talk to the person who you just told to go away.

Rain coming down, trees being pushed around.
Cars driving by, nothing to be seen by the naked eye.
Cloud covered sky, why do you cry?
Are you upset to be covering up the lights?
Are you mourning your loses?
Or, are you celebrating your arrival, all by yourself?
Everyone is here, just waiting for you to  calm.
For when you calm, they'll join you in the night.
Peeking through your transparency and sharing their lights.

Smiling faces,
Empty spaces.
Explicit joking,
Anger provoking.
Juicy scoops,
Useless groups.
Hilarious memes,
Broken dreams.
Spent years,
Shed tears.
Memories destroyed,
Lost in the void

Walking in the rain...
It refreshes your mind, body and soul to the point that your barriers and walls don't exist anymore.
No one can distinguish tears streaming down your face from rain drops collecting on your cheeks.
But, it makes you remember everything you've been through,
And all the pain rushes back so that you can understand that deep down it was necessary, unknown, but in someway.
Throwing yourself to the ground.
You wish it all away.
Grip you head.
Falling...
There is no more.
Not until the smell of petrichor

15 months, a blazing fire is maintained...
2 weeks later and all of it is forgotten with one act...
2 months later, a new hope is found...
1 week later, the match is struck and a fire is kindled...
3 days later, the candle burns out...
The time for each has gotten shorter at an unexpected rate. After each all that is left is the smell of petrichor. It is the only thing that makes me feel safe anymore.

Watching and waiting...
Searching and seeking...
Hurting, but hiding...
They say eyes are the windows to a person's soul, but everyone forgets they show: pain, heartbreak, love, wonder and many more.
Reading someone through their eyes is the sadest thing, for you see every love and every loss in an instant.