I’d rather be used than to be left alone.
I’ll let them fulfill their desires,
Sense all of their sensations,
While I put on an act.  

Every man will touch me in different ways,
But no one will make me feel the same.
Since my emotions are long gone,
Maybe this is the only way I will feel again.

I remind myself how sacred my body is,
Yet I let people walk all over it like
The trails in the parks.
It gives them joy and comfort,

But over time I will be the one
To decay and I will need to be replaced.
It’s hard to walk on the trails in the winter
Since it gets cold and dark so quickly.

People won’t want to stay very long.
But don’t worry, they’ll be coming back
Soon enough when everything starts
To blossom in the spring time.

n.n

Watch my hands shake and
Look at my body tremble.
Listen to my speech slur,
Observe my eyes shifting.

I’ll intertwine my hands,
To wipe off the cold sweat.
I’ll chuckle and then I’ll cry,
Feeling my heart palpitate.

It’ll all escalate quickly and
Suddenly I’ll be on the floor,
With no control over myself.
I’m scared of my own mind.

n.n