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 Dec 2014 NitaAnn
Kimberly Serena
That night will be the night that I drink my own poison and shed a single tear for the first time in many lives.
For I will have realized that the thrill of the hunt was my armor built to defy what life should be.
As my lungs drain and my breath grows shallow, yours will be the eyes that open mine.
I will be still as my crimson lips smile weakly, knowing  that I had lived if only for a moment.
That, my dear, is when time will stand infinitely still and I will exist throughout eternity in the heaven that I have created for myself.
 Dec 2014 NitaAnn
hello again
I know you.
I know your junk.
I know all of your stuff.
You messed up.
You know that,
I will always love you.
I will always forgive you.
But will you be able to forgive yourself?
Because you know your stuff,
your junk.
I will never leave you!
I will never abandon you!
Because I love you for You...
I like writing poems, but I can never find the right words.
2% happy
2% loved
6% lonely
10% just gave up
10% ******
10% bracelets
10% gloves
9% irritated
20% doesn't give a ****
10% has nothing to say
4% stays silent
1% knows its better this way
3% hates you
3% hates me
?% is emo
that (?%) is Me...
another one like this on the way
 Dec 2014 NitaAnn
april
It's 1pm, she's smiling. I've closed my eyes too many times just from the times she's hurt me--
she never said it'd be alright and now my mind still worries.
She's like another twisting hurricane that I should've known better than to get into,
but now the roads are blocked and the sirens stopped and I'm standing inside the walls I built inside my heart.
She's somewhere on the outside, knocking just to hear one more "I'm sorry,"
trying to get inside or just disarm me.

I spent my days through endless nights just trying to strengthen these walls of mine--
from enemy, from predator, from girl. But as her voice echoes through my veins,
I forget all the things she always says.
I forget myself, my sense, my name.

My walls have cracked - my defense falls -
what looked like stone was another glass house surrounding my pulse
as it beats through every break, every trial and last mistake,
she says she loves me but makes me wait - I'll never feel this way again.
-aprilxcv
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
ratgirl
Who am I?
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
ratgirl
I am me. I am the girl crying on the bathroom floor wishing she never existed. I am the boring sister, the unwanted daughter, and the distant friend. I am the bitter insults from my mothers mouth. I am the guilt from my chest when I bite back too hard. I am the music I rely on to survive. I am the dull foggy days and the long lonely nights I love so much. I am the one no one can hate and the one no one can love. I am the the broken but the not broken enough. I am the tangled collection of thoughts, weaving through one another in my mess of a mind. I am the hopeless future, I am the high expectancies. I am the too-pretty-to-be-ugly and the too-ugly-to-be-pretty. I am the 3am figure stuck to the couch. I am the weight in my chest. I am the hard mornings. I am the restless nights. I am the lost humour, the lost smiles, the lost joy. I am the lost cause.
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
Hyp
Through so many years I ran
Afraid and ever cowering
The darkness always at my back
Voracious, all-devouring

Through my mind its black claws reached
And picked apart my sanity
They scraped all chance of joy away
With endless inhumanity

Through the days and months and years
it chased and clawed relentlessly
Eventually I wondered why
I ran unending breathlessly

Through the dark I turned and looked
Pursuit suspended nervously
I granted it a name and face
It glared with vicious fervency

Through its threat I held my gaze
And ventured forth an inquiry
Its flare of rage could not repress
My newfound curiosity

Through the long nights we conversed
Debating, chatting, bickering
The darkness that devoured my life
Shrank back, diminished, flickering

Through the darkness I now saw
With unexpected clarity
We spoke as friends, no longer foes
Embracing newfound parity

Through the dark I look, and laugh
My friend now laughs along with me
Despite how it had always seemed
The darkness is a part of me
I know what you'd all like to say
      To make me feel better
"Beauty is on the inside"
            Or
       "You are beautiful"
But my soul is so tattered
       And my heart
Has been repeatedly
             shattered
All the scattered
      bits and pieces
   You might find in there
          Between the scars and creases
     Would make you all run and hide
               If beauty shines from the inside,       Then I'm the **ugliest beast alive
The second in my series of 'lies'. Click #mylittlelies and #mytruths to read the rest.
Thanks.
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
Bells
Red
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
Bells
Red
They hunted you down on that heavy cold night
They hunted you down on horseback like cowards.
They hunted you down. You were only a boy.
They hunted you down in the forest.
Red was the blood on your face in that nightmare,
Red as the waves in your beautiful hair,
Red was the fire, red was the moon.
Blood red was your shrieking that pierced through the air.
What savage world was this where we lived?
Our beautiful, primitive autumn land
When they bound all mercy and love to the water
Engulfed in the flames of the evil of man.
An inferno broke out from your tender red heart,
As they cruelly sliced open your body in whole
A terror that would forever linger in the trees
The fire of that night forever in your soul.
 Nov 2014 NitaAnn
tiaamaariaa
Are you able to change someone like me?
Someone who is so damaged it hurts to move.
Someone who is so sad it's tiring to smile.
Are you able to love someone like me?
Someone who is so tired of everything around her
Someone who is so anxious to continue life
Are you able to pick up all the pieces?
Are you willing to put them back together ?
Are you capable of living with a damaged soul?
I didn't think so..
-te
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