He stepped forward
said this was his one chance
to say what he had to say
That he wasn't there
but that he’s here now
and he’s got a lifetime to make up for it

He knew my fears before I spoke them
what is my truth
is it the kind that cuts and pillages
Because I have
and I do
I have robbed that old lady at will
I have broken through stained glass doors
I have rained fire upon all those who stood in my way
I have taken what I wanted
I have bent people at mercy
I have lied
I have promised
and I have broken
so ******* righteous
What makes you think you're like him?
What makes you think Im not?

He said She’s not like him
four generations of heart ache
Of miserable broken pairings
Four generations of devastation
he said you've saved her
You've saved this family

He said she's not like him
she wont run
She’s got a father like smoke
but she’s water
He Said she’ll stay
She'll be here till the end
There'll a wedding with two dresses
but one father
Because her's is gone
like smoke
He said my son is too selfish
You'll never find the peace you're looking for
so just don't go
He says he If he was a better father,
I would of had a better father
and I'd have a different life
I wouldn't need to be this person
but its too late
Because I am
and this is my truth now
You played your part
and now I guess I'll play mine

the light pulses
flashes
draws you in
it narrows
and widens
can’t block out that glow
it flickers
Begging for your attention
Like a helpless moth
You're flying towards it
Confused
This isn't the real light
These girls, like neons they got you
These numbers they flickering like the halogen
and they got you
They promising everlasting love like LEDs
and it got you
Got you frantic
chasing that lime light
You're in that frame
Shine bright like the sun
Staring at it too long
and you’ll go blind

this woman
she raises soldiers
Spinning sweet lies
and throwing hard truths
its ******* brutal in here
nothing is sacred
We take what we need
when we want it
Its us against them
we are alone
You are alone
She'll throw you right in
and you do have a choice
You sink
or you swim baby
Mumma cant keep us all up
Come out swinging
She cant tell you whats on the other side
but she’ll tell you that you'd better be ready
gun cocked
fully loaded
She'll light a ******* right at your feet
keep moving
This woman
she’s covered in scars
she wants you to shoot
Shoot for the stars
But you're on your own
Mummas got guns
Pointed at men
Pointed at lovers
Pointed at fathers
pointed at mothers
Love is blind
and she’s firing
Into the night
so take your post
Soldier
You're on your own

Take me down to the river
Wash these knots out of my stomach
I need to run
Free
Clear my head
I make myself hard
I make myself sharp
I'm ready to fight
Until they slow down
Almost to a stop
Slowing down right by me
& in this moment
I realise
I am not fearless
Indestructible
Fast.
I am alone
Past mightnight
Prey
To be hunted
Devoured
Disposed
Not hard
But soft
And slow
- I just wanted to run
& now I'll get my chance.
Should have worn a hoodie.
10% cotton
90% asking for it

In a box in a garage
with all the dusty forgotten somethings
that we don't want
but cant throw
there was that photo
and it takes me straight back
****** through a vortex
its been 12 years
and I am broken all over again
every step that I made
every breath that I took
erased

following a creature through the forest
I've been chasing that rabbit for 12 years
following, trusting
she climbs higher and higher
dont look back
we are so far from there
dont look down
and we are never going back
if I can keep up
I know she can lead me somewhere
get me out of here
with leaps and bounces
she jumps off rocks and over rivers
she doesn't stop
she never stops

so I follow
sometimes i forget to follow
I look back at the path
and if you're not careful where you take stock
its not safe to stay here
you're coming up around the bend
and this ledge is narrow
12 years of climbing
and I slipped right back to the bottom
that rabbit she waits
she never looses me
I loose her
but I haven't
she sits and she waits
its hard for her to wait
she hates to wait

She found me in the darkness
In that black hole by the side of the highway
with palm trees overhead
4 o'clock in the afternoon
100ks an hour
I walked that overpass
and I thought about jumping over
or stepping out
I fell down that hole
cavernous and pitch black
all but for that white rabbit
looking at me
waiting for me
we climbed out of there
she lead me out of there
and I've been following that rabbit ever since
still as white as ever

Does it ever get better
I dont know
keep running.