Its weird
I want you but I don't
I need you but I can survive on my own
I love you but I love you enough to know I shouldn't

Im so confused
Im so lost
I care so much but so less
None of this makes any sense

Can you just make it clear
Clear enough for me to hear
Whether you're just as confused or that Im just in the wrong state of mind.

Everyone has a story so don't close your eyes just because you believe your story is worse or better because you'll get lost
Life isnt a competition, its a journey.
We need to help others or
Noone will be there to catch us when we fall
Because we were too busy focused on our own lives that we didnt even realise we were creating a social wall

If I've learnt anything from this year
Its that you need to plan ahead
Set yourself goals and stick to them

It may be hard
It may be boring
But in the end itll be rewarding

I don't want to lose you
But I'm scared
That you will never talk to me again
That I'll never hug you again

And I'm terrifyed
Completely terrifyed
That you aren't scared
That you wouldn't mind if we never crossed paths again
That you could happily live on knowing I died

All I've ever wanted to be is a hero
I want to be a good person
A kind person

But to you Im a monster
Im the villian and far from being a good person

The wall clock ticks like the timer on a bomb.
I can't stop it, reverse it or slow it down.
Each tick drags me forward, helpless and nervous to the allotted time.
I can no more avoid it than the beating of my own heart as it pounds with futility against it's cage of bone and cartilage.
The dread is an invisible demon sitting heavy on my shoulders and only I can hear the sharpening of it's knives.
I sweat and become pale, then the tremor in my hands begins.