I heard the bells
From where I laid
And they kept eyes wide as they loudly said
That there were things the heart forbade
I prayed they spoke not of you

I heard the bells
They rang for me
The hand I held falling with the leaves
As noctuous tones rang to the sea
And told me unwanted truths

I heard the bells
Shook them away
Howled at the night, mourned in the day
Spurting hatred to drown out what they say
What mind pushed away, but heart knew

I heard the bells
Each damning tone
That spoke and said you are not home
In the arms of one whose heart you own
And I was haunted by the tears that followed

And I saw candles in the skylight
That forced me to look outward
Their flickered flames in twilight
Made is so there was not an echoed word

I looked upward, onward
At a world ending above me
As if a deaf man’s silence as he hears
The first strings of a symphony

Under that purple and crimson sky
The masses joined my gaze
Looking to horizons, not one eye dry
As endless candles floated in the haze

The sun it set, or did it burst?
A gasp, a rush, then no more
As candles fell from darkened sky
And set fire to the floor

But I will remember the penultimate
The flickered flames in technicolor sky
The beauty near the ending for which I was present
As all and all and all said goodbye

She left in June
Flew
As expected
But she was in my arms
Moments
Only thing I could count on
Because in her nature
As is nature
How could I expect
Even want
Something, someone
Her
To stay
Caged in kisses
Locked in embraces
Chained in the affections
Shackled by the addictions
Of one boy
Mascarading as a man

She was her own creature
A lioness in rabbit’s cloth
No ******* around
Light on her feet
Freely does she run
But she never runs away
She just leaves
As expected
Brightest day turn darkest light
And I
I choose to remember the stars
For even though she leaves
Arms empty, hearts gaping
Eyes wanting, hands shaking
Knees weak, minds struck
She leaves
Moments
Embodied in stars
And I count on each one
As I count each one
As I account each one
And each one
Stays

What if we fade?
What if this existence of clay pots
So fragile
Fades
What if chances are not given
No truths
But just skin, bone, muscle
And knowing

Do you know how roses grow
Much less these fleeting seconds
So few
Could we steal, borrow
Beg?
Asking for more, looking for depth
Hearing nothing
Seeing black
Within you and me?
Everything and anything
Faded

Break this heart of solid stone
Collect these old scattered bones
Warm up what was dead and cold
Then leave it all alone

A hope arising from a glance
A breath that hints at half a chance
A foreign and off-kilter dance
A tear, fear, and sharpened lance

I broke before the breaking was ever evident
The weight of undertaking such cracks was prevalent
My hands and legs were shaking yet my mouth stayed oddly shut
Because the words, I found, were inconvenient

I broke before the clay of me had any time to dry
An unfinished tapestry that had already gone awry
And I have no one to blame but me, so I do it every day
And I apologize for the choices that will always be

I broke to show a side of me I’d kept under lock and key
To find I’d lost that key and my escape was breaking
And whether I am a fool is a debate that has come and gone
But I will learn one way or another, later or sooner

I am a compilation
Of complications
A station on the radio
My radar too tuned in
Hearing too acutely
My feelings too wild
Chaotic
It's not your fault
But is it mine?

You stand there
Letting me taste you
And
Leaving me
Here
Wanting more
Feverish in my attempts
Stumbling over my
Braindead heart
It's not my fault
But is it yours?

Sweet, yet bitter
So well seasoned
I have to dull
Myself
Too much too soon
Wanting
Impatient in anticipation
Of another coming and
Picking
You
Up
It's not your fault
But is it theirs?

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"
But don't fly to frequent
Don't fly to near
Burns will appear
The wanting is toxic
The passion
Too fervent
Fearful
But still there
A constant
Itching
It's not my fault
But it's all I am

Overflowing or bone dry
No in-betweens
Hot or cold
In a lukewarm
Scene
Consisting of consistent
Changes
But unfaltering
In my wanting
To never
Lose

It's not your fault
But I'll blame us both one way
Or another