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 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
stas
okay
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
stas
You fell in love with my negative space, the parts of me that I couldn't stand to see, but when your hand reached between my thighs, I said okay.

You told me you liked my smile, but only when I was unbuttoning my shirt, but when you asked if I wanted this, I said okay.

You promised me we would be okay, that all my fears would go away, when you told my to lie down and close my eyes, I said okay.

If this is what love is, I'm not okay.
If you don't want to know,
then just don't ask
'cause I won't lie
and say I'm fine
while I sit and down a bottle of wine
I won't pretent
it's all ok
when all I do is run away
No, I'm not happy
Not joyous and free
I'm not at all where I want to be
Still looking for peace
so I continue to pray
for serenity, I hope it comes some day
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
Remus
Best Friends
We smiled at
each other and
inside jokes
were the
whole of the
both of us.

Our greetings
were hugs that
lasted up to
five seconds
and made
both of us
smile.

Distant
We haven't smiled
at each other in
weeks.
I ignore your
glances because
you refuse
my hugs as
a greeting since you
began dating her.

Acquaintance*
We don't speak now,
when around each other
our eyes never meet.
But I know if
either of us called out
the other would come
running.

*No matter what anyone else thought.
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
Remus
Your girlfriend accepts me now.
We're apparently friends,
well we aren't
but she and I are.

You two casually
give each other
kisses in the
morning.
But once it came to
the afternoon you saw me
and gave her a hug before
leaving.

She yelled at you
to come back
and give her a proper
goodbye
but you wouldn't.

And I wonder why.
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
Remus
You are a fool.
In one month's time
I bet you will be
heartbroken.

I warned you
countless times.
I threatened you
more than necessary.

I just want you
to be happy,
but you believe
you love her.

It's a shame really,
that you're this
blinded.

You will not be happy,
all you're doing is
grasping at temporary
affection.

And all temporary affection
leaves you with is
a bad taste
in the back of your
mouth.
Andy
Let me just tell you
That I...
I love you.
You're my best friend
I'd never want more
Then that.
You made me smile
For weeks we would talk and laugh and I would nearly get in trouble in math class just to see what you had to say.
You're honestly one of the best friends I could hope for, you showed me purpose when I believed there wasn't any
You don't know how my face and heart would light up when you replied to me
And though we haven't talked in a while I miss you
I'd get a plane ticket out to you and help you accomplish your dreams if I could
Remember when you said we could go live in Seattle and hire an actress to go to gym for me?
Remember?
And we could go to Kansas and you could teleport to get me?
Andy, please...
I know you have no control over it
Three weeks to live...
You deserve three eternities
I'd give them to you if I could
But I can't
No one can
Though I know we all would.
So live your life to the fullest
Use those three weeks to the max,
And never, never give up dear Andy
Fight for us
Fight for me
But don't give in
You
Don't
Have
To
Die,
But
Even
If
You
Do
You
Will
Live
On.
Andy is the best friend I will ever have online. (When I said love for you people who will tell me "you have a boyfriend" I meant as a friend, like a best best friend)  I read last night that he had three weeks to live so I spent all night writing this. If you read this Andy, hang tight, we love you. Hang in there if you can buddy. We all love you<3
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
A
Ivan
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
A
A burning sadness
Crept up from within me
Like the cigarette you just finished
Its smoke engulfed me.

We had the usual date.
“For old times sake,” you said.
Dinner at Applebee’s
And a movie at 42nd.

Interstellar was on the plate
Our first heavy movie together.
It mushed our already tired brains
But like always, we analyzed it after.

Remember Valentine’s at Kip’s Bay?
We watched the Lego Movie.
At one point our combined laughter
Was all that echoed throughout the theater.

But we’ve also ridden a Central Park carousel,
And ate bibimbap at 35th.
You’ve felt at home on my couch
While I fell asleep on your tummy at Brooklyn Bridge Park.

I have these and more to take with me.
And when you hugged me goodbye tonight,
This scorching flame burned brighter,
As you whispered into my ear, “I’ll miss you.”
 Dec 2014 Five Fingers
SMN
I’m sick and tired of being that friend
the one everyone turns to and the one
who has to sort out everyones problems
i’m sick of being everyones punching bag
but i’m that friend who will always be there
and help you through your problems
even when I’m feeling like **** myself
can I for once be the one to be asked
if I’m okay?

*(s.m)
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