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She made me cup my hands, softly
over her heaving full  *******, a gesture,
a tender moment when  she received
the first intimations of her motherhood,
we were awaiting, this moment, any time
she  never had known a  tenderness like this.

Just then I heard the billowing black clouds
loudly blowing their auspicious conch shells *
announcing arrival of good tidings
impatient clouds, at that time burst out
in torrential rains, cooling the heart of nature and us.
the seed I planted in her, fecund earth, lying in wait
with  her life blood and hopes
she too was lovingly watering it,
only a mother knows how to do it the best,
the water flowed through two streams
the milky way and the holy Ganga river
fiery star dreams and watery abundance
the mother's wish embrace ice and fire
in measures varying according to emotions.

Lifted my eyes to hers which were flooding
in a happiness, words find difficult to express,
like tender vines her hands circled my trunk,
we, man and wife who sowed our seeds
together in self oblivion are on immortality's steps!
wind, water, earth, fire and space, from you comes
our descendants, with eager eyes and singing voice!

This union, is a ritual divine, what hymns of Vedas
extol as fire sacrifice, to transcend the limits time set for us.
Now she is the enchantress,moon coming out of clouds,
we merge in a passionate kiss, our boat  moves in to the
cosmic stream, a flow eternal,without  beginning or end.
*.In India, blowing conch shell is considered auspicious in special occasions
I talk to the water and the spring, it's deeper source,
without words, it heals me, I receive the benediction,
to clouds and seething sea waves too,I, my eyes speak
transcending mind, I reach out to the gentle forces of nature
send my thoughts to plants and animals, they are very kind.

"Would you keep quiet for a while?"
I hear my request to myself as if I am somebody
different, from what I wish to be.I am astonished
at myself, it's the ability to commune with silence.
I go back to the mind of nature wordless, in meditation
hope that I would be the one I wish, the elders
have told us all that is to be done.Needs to be just the link.

I want to stop my babbling that makes
words lose their, inherent potency
I get this nagging question, repeatedly
do I respect the word, utmost
and be in it's ring of friends and lovers?
the fewer you use words
I feel the word will desire you more
But how do I forge the emotional bond
with each word I woo and make my own?
I seek the answer in 'Aum"

I invoke a word to come out of the beehive
of my buzzing brain, a cosmos,where they
compete with each other to fly out to forests far
in search of flowers secreting honey, dense  with pollen.

I hear the drone of the word, on it's journey
to distant gardens.I acknowledge it's clarity of intentions
purity of singular thought which fills heart with sweetness
the bee, is a 'brahmachari' single minded 'yogi'
after the ultimate meaning;I, wish to  let the word be and with it
Brahmachari-one who takes the path of learning to realize supreme
reality, "brahman"
"Amour is the most intense kind of sweet fever,I can vouch that
When it's clandestine, the effect on victims is much more acute"

As the trembling example of that condition, she whispers in his ear,
Between adventurous  samba steps, every one watches agape.

"Don't you know merciless girl,that's what makes me go pale quickly
in your presence,this illness is mutually induced, that's for sure"
In this layered darkness,
deaths are mere numbers
carelessly scribbled on
a blackened wall, unnoticed.

Grief is left out in the open
like orphaned children,
no one bothered to count
as it has no significance.

Isn't it  meaningless
as darkness festers still.

Every war claimed won,
leaves behind heaps of
mutilated corpses, that
in nightmares of living,
get up and walk speaking in tongues
with blood letting bodies falling apart.

So many concealed graves are
camouflaged, hidden from the eyes
of the people,whose time is precious
to waste  for such things as war crimes.


But these blackened graves break
the hearts of countless families,
where laughter dies for ever,darkness stalks.
Faceless loved ones of the killed,
widows and children uncontrollably cry,
cursing their lives  for this walk through the dark.

Every love life is an invisible bound book,
of many stories of pain, recounted in tearful details,
not easily erased, but much more lives are forgotten,
like cattle killed during long season of celebration,
when people eat, drink, and make merry till they faint,
sleep long hours to sedate their consciousness heavy
with guilt for what they do repeatedly, remorseless.
WE unconsciously participate and abet wars by being in the side of violence.Be aware!
City lights sparkle,
A concrete jungle on fire,
A stunned full moon.
The panoramic view up to eastern horizon, from my sixth floor apartment balcony in Bangalore city.
Darkness swaddles moonlight,
Bamboo groves sing lullaby,
Love moves the still air.
When I have a yen to sin , I do it with my unbounded pen.

Thick black ink turns blood, spills in a mysterious patterns,

And it simultaneously writes my own redemption.

My spirit undergoes a transformation,sings freedom song.

In this unreal plane of my action, I become  superhuman.

Every word that swims in the deluge of emotions quickly,

Sends SOSs, incessant, demanding sublimation.It's done.

I pay heed and then find,  I am in the word's possession.

That decides, what would be my next course of action.

I stay firmly put between agitating emotions and imagination.
Writing could be  divine, or on the contrary sin by proxy..
It liberates, redeems, makes it possible to sin with impunity..
You call, I come
- surrendering the fight-

how can one fathom life
so far from your thoughts
as pieces of the sun
- kisses wither in time-
and sieving memories soften
the fall

-you are my demise-
sweet harshness striking in calm
stripping marrows in early dawn
-yet you cannot will my will-

A paper weight holds
down the heart – and all beneath
slowly dies
-petals arched in the sun-

And yet, you call, and I, well I…
just want.
 Apr 2016 Neha shimoga
Lily NP
I've always cared more about being detached,
Than I ever have for the notion of home.
Perhaps it's because it's in my blood,
Because I watched hate rule with more force than love;
But everything that I have ever known,
Tells me it's better to be alone.
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