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 Jun 2015 Nan Trapp Messer
David
Basking in self-pity,
I pour myself a  drink.
Time alone always gives you
plenty of time to think.

Standing on the edge of the abyss;
I am on the brink.
And I just can't get over it.
Only further,
I seem to sink.

"You again, with your self-pity"
Is what you'd probably say.
Because you'd rather I pretend
that everything's okay.

I guess I'm guilty of being honest
in a world consumed by lies.
A world where it's easier to ignore,
walk away,
and close your eyes.
There was a rumble in the west
As the sky opened
And the rains fell
The earthy smell that rose from the soil
These are the times
When I'm glad
To be alive and free
Oh rain
Baptize me in an earthly essence  
I hope when I'm laid gently in the ground
That the smell of new rain will follow me down
Maybe if I'm strong enough
I'll break away
From this world

Maybe if I'm thin enough
I'll slip through the cracks
And be free

Maybe if I cut enough
I'll bleed the bad out
And be happy for once

Maybe if I try enough
It will actually be okay
Not fake like now

Maybe if I cry enough
I'll make an ocean of tears
And swim away

*Maybe
Maybe....
Just because
I don't have the right
To be jealous
That doesn't mean
That I'm **not
Can be so painful, but I find myself wanting more.
Once experienced, it's like a drug.
 Jun 2015 Nan Trapp Messer
niamh
Her tongue like a whip.
Her words lashed
Across my back
Leaving weeping welts of pain.
A balm administered
To ease the hurt
But the memory
Lingers.
Spilt wine
Can't be put back into the bottle.
Once you say something, it cannot be unsaid
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