i am older now (obviously)
and certainly feel it.
i am wiser now (probably)
and certainly feel that too.
however i am still not old or wise
nor do i know how to write a poem (although i now have several years of literature study).
all i know is that the older i get the more insurmountable the future seems
as it unfurls before me, limitless and suffocating.
today i write less than i would like to
as i let the words
slip through my fingers,
as they tend to,
because i'd rather regret not speaking,
marking my silence up to foolishness when i am older,
than say anything at all.
going through my old poems as an adult(i feel comfortable calling myself that now!) is a fascinating experience. i felt very deeply back then but i dont remember so much of what i was alluding to! funny how the mind works. or at least how mine does.