I S A A C

I S A A C Jun 2020

Chaos brews within me and you
We select vices and sometimes we don't choose
We find individual ways to play by Society's rules
Whether it's a joint, a shot or a juul
Whether it's serial loving, fear of trusting or mindless thrusting
We attack and belittle to increase our ego
I jump into ***** waters hoping to be the hero
But if you can't save yourself then who can you save
Constantly giving away the colours you should use to paint
The sky, the stars and the lines that drive us apart
The ingrained hatred we spew without ever thinking it through
Instead of breaking each other's hearts and playing like dolls
We could build up protection and evolve

Where there is a brain there is a new way

#thoughts #aquarius #society #evolution

I S A A C Jun 2020

Disney Delusions

I used to begrudge
I used to dream of
My family unit resembling the ones on the screen
Disney was the culprit of my delusions and dreams
That in my current situation could never fathom peace
But in my puddles of tears, I finally see the crown on me
The emerald accentuating my babydoll eyes
These eyes that vow not to cry
Over many things, I lust for
And trustful in the universe
That will deliver everything meant for me
In spades
Convinced me that was bound to be would be
Then suddenly I was the powerful being I was meant to be

#dreams

I S A A C Jun 2020

Ten of Wands

Your job was to lighten the load
But instead, you made it more burdensome
Uncovering the complexities of tragedy you instilled in me until this day
Uncovering the multiple ways you let me down to this day
But I cannot harbor resentment no longer
The burdens ever consuming; it is unfair
But life is simply a scale seeking equilibrium
Fighting violence with balance
I learn to let it all go
Let the triggering words float on the river
Watch them as they go downstream
Without them, I feel like I lost apart of me
Which I did it was my pain, which I've opted to forgive
You cannot have bliss without tragedy and not everyone fulfills their jobs like they're destined to be
You got out of this commitment scratch-free
Therefore I will no longer let it hold weight over me
This ten wands no longer burdens me

Impermanence

#tarot #spiritual #strength #faith

I S A A C Jun 2020

Happy Father's Day

I will pretend this day doesn't exist
Just like the person, it demands remembrance
But only in the locked ivory pages of my diary

The pain I have yet to unpack all come rushing back
The memories of you and the present lack
I cannot say you were an inspiration
I cannot say you taught me how to be a good man

I can say that behind my willowed face of pain
That I will always be apart of you but not in vain
I will take the gifts bestowed and continue to grow
Without you and let karma give you the seeds you sowed
All poisonous like the tainted water I had to grow in
Your toxicity within me so potent

Invaded my home unwillingly like a rodent
We supposed to be forever and always but your actions rendered you an opponent
I was hand-fed rage by your hard hands and I failed to notice.

All in divine order

#father #childhood #growing #love #mistrust #trauma

I S A A C Jun 2020

Marilyn Monroe Me

Goddess but I am modest
Your whole heart I hold
Trace it with my fingertip melt it into gold
We are abundant like our clothes on the floor
Loving you all on fours

Touch your pools of mocha claimed them as my own
Tainting my notion of love I've come to know
Was it all fantasy? What I previously believed
Or was I simply staring into a black hole
The unknown

But with you, we bridge the gap
Between the known and the yet to know
Love your tone, so deep and low
Hug me close until you have to go
Love me like I am Marilyn Monroe

Divine Feminine

#love #sweet #darling #marilynmonroe #gay

I S A A C Jun 2020

Iceberg

You see my icy disposition but never questioned
Is he as stone-cold as his eyes?
Or is it all a lie?
I have gotten good at masking all the damage
I have gotten good at presenting the perfect package
But underneath the visibility, you would see oceans of feelings
You see the tip of the iceberg, my ego
If you never dive in deep then you'll never truly know
Who I am when I am alone or when I feel at home
The scars underneath these modest clothes
The tender warm waters birthing a rose
For my prince charming that can melt my throes
Waiting for the day I can really show
Who I am without attack

#iceberg #ego #modest #virgo #ice #pain #rebirth

I S A A C Jun 2020

Feelings of a Gay Man

We were alone in the Crown of Jewels
We weren't comfortable in our schools
Didn't fit into their rigid system of rules
The love wasn't there or anywhere for us homosexuals
The love was rising but so were the death tolls
Just a scant fish in a vast pool, just one of a million molecules
I was emotional whilst emotionless
Simply trying to navigate the lack of bliss
Hard to be optimistic when you are facing the abyss
Abysmal
I drown but didn't die it was baptismal
Trying to hide the strain, the days were dismal
But I let go and let light inside
Exculpated my mind smoking blunts by the seaside
High tide, low vibe
But I let go and decided to clarify
Realizing all my actions were artlessly justified
Yuletide, brown eyes
Remember that day, the horizon the way the sun laid
Recalling your face, when I said something with shade
Dwell upon my eyes, disarmed, entranced and vivid jade
The smile on your face that day continues to plague my brain
But nonetheless, I'm used to the pain and the unhappy endings
It's a habit of mine to invest in the art of storytelling.

#lonely #gay #feelings #love #rebirth #pisces