A crystal sun shines brighter
To crystal eyes
Than any golden sun ever could.

All I've ever gotten in love
Is can't.
"I can't be your lover."
"You can't just say that."
"You can't
Be like this."
"You can't
Love me."

Be my yes.
Be my of COURSE.

I have a dream
A very dear dream.
I've written of it for years
Over and over.
My dream
Is that someday
I will be sitting by a dim window
Looking down
On a city street in the rain
Cupping a mug of hot, sweet tea in my palms
And thinking how perfect everything is.
And someone
Someone lovely
Someone warm and safe and beautiful
She will rise from our sheets- ours,
And put her arms around me,
Say
"Come back to bed, love."
And I will lean into her and she will smile and life
Will finally be the way I always wished it could.
I dream
That someday
I will be making breakfast at the stove with a soft cat winding between my ankles
And from behind she will hug my waist, kiss my neck, steal a bite of food and make me forget
To take the kettle off the heat
And it will sing shrilly while we kiss
Good morning.
I want her voice to be what I fall asleep to,
Velvety in my mind and soft in my ear,
Her fingers tracing my collarbones and my arms draped around her hips.
I want
To get lost with her
In every foreign city
And laugh because nowhere is lost
And everywhere is home
Because we are each other's port in every storm
And each other's lighthouse to find our way back to safe waters.
My dream is to smile my life away
And spend my seconds not like hard earned dollars but like pennies tossed into fountains- every one a wish, a promise, a celebration.
Be my yes.
Be my home.
Be the first person
To tell me I am allowed to dream
To wish
To be
Everything I am.
Be the first
To want it,
And I will give you the entire world.
I will write your name on every napkin corner poem I leave in every cozy cafe,
I will carve it into every park bench I read on in the summer sun,
I will whisper it
To every star I see in the night sky.
Please,
I'm inviting you-
Be my home. Be my hope.
Be
My
Dream.

The ends of my fingers trail dust,
Creating forgotten memories,
And leaving no trace,
No fingerprints,
Just the dusky film of the setting sun,
That shadow-gold twilight
And my reflection in broken mirrors

dreams billowing
like breezes on a sail
flowing rivers
blue flowers
mysteries of the moon.

The train is bright and empty
And it should be lonely, sitting here, hurtling through darkness, but I
Am in no state for people.
I am too far away.
Something is new in me.
Something is starting.
I move through the world every day
And I love it all, I do,
Love it to distraction, love it painfully, even
But
Distantly.
There is always something thin but impenetrable
Between me and all that I want to touch
To hold
To let crawl inside me and expand
So that maybe I'd be vast enough to hold this soul.
But tonight
That veil has peeled away-
No, it has fallen away
Like a sheet of fine silk, and I am
Raw
And new
And blinking in the light and everything
Is so saturated with color
And music
Thrums beneath the grinding of the rails.
It has been so long since everything could touch me.
I sit here and soak it in, a lover who has found everything to love
All of a sudden
And can do nothing but gaze.
All this
All this from someone,
And this is why
I just can't quit love.
This is why I try over and over,
Why I stay up nights wandering the darkened streets,
Why the hunger in my chest is something I treasure so excruciatingly.
Because the world is waiting
For you to find a reason to touch it,
And tonight I want my fingers to find every sidewalk crack and blade of grass,
Seek them like the skin of a lover in the dark- that gentle and that urgent-
And fill them all with silver light
And watch the world catch fire with what lives beneath my skin-
What lives here and has been sleeping
But is now suddenly, terrifyingly, gloriously
Awake.