Minute by minute
Hour by hour
Day by day
That’s how it starts

You’re eyes smile scent fade
As the months come and go so does you’re memory
Places that once held pieces of you and me
History has rewritten for a brighter more promising future

Forgive and forget becomes the next step

Forgetting you was easy- you were never really all there… you couldn’t decide right?

Bread crumb after bread crumb filled with false hopes you fed me for 3 long weeks.
I kept trying to get off the rollercoaster - you wouldn’t let me.
Selfishly you kept me tossing and turning in your storm
Leaving me open to the anxiety doubt and insecurities

The culprit in the end-  “****** chemistry”
Seeing me wasn’t your priority yet wouldn’t we need to see each to gage the chemistry???
What do I know I am the naive ****** after all.

You chose to gaslight my innocence rather than acknowledge your lack of  thoughtfulness , actions,  and confidence.  

What if I was just not attractive enough for you …? Maybe I did something wrong ?

You were still a boy in a man’s body
A coward scared of your own shadow
Wanting to keep me in your orbit but never close enough to be yours.

What if I had done more ? Would that have made you claim me as yours?

Darling you thought dulling my shine
Keeping me small would make me need you.
Would make me want you more ….
You didn’t expect me too refuse to bend or break for you.

Mending, healing, rebuilding ME
I found my way to forgiveness- it hasn’t been easy
Yet forgiving you I have

With every passing season
The version of me after you
Is rooted back on solid ground
I am enough !
Breathing more steady
Everything is okay …
Smiling again wider than before
I am worthy of unfailing love
Laughing deep belly laughs
That echo louder than ever within my soul
I am not anyone’s second choice
Love for life, the simple things , and peace flows through my veins like sunshine.
Life is beautiful and you were never the source of that beauty or joy.

You did not break me
You awakened me
Reminding me that I deserve better
Because I am better
You were never good enough
Thanks for the rude awakening

Standing there unaware and unprepared
My world wasn’t ready for you
But you never said you would play fair
You stole my heart with just one smile

Like a spell I couldn’t shake
You became my favorite nightmare
And I knew you were unlike any other
Still words were impossible to fare  

As I willingly became your victim
Trapped in those hazel eyes
Your face now a movie of wonder
With no beginning middle or end
Just endless beauty to ponder
I was left defenseless… defeated

Sick of sticking in the shadows
Watching time come as days flew by
Feelings turned to ardor no longer bearable
I knew you had to be mine

My prayer answered on that cold night
As you sat alone wrapped in a blanket
A gift given only by density
Stars sparkled night became day
And you finally became mine.

A tangled web weaved
intricately designed, by patient time.
Three unfortunate victims of untold lies
Glances misinterpreted, signs and all now cease.

The truth will set them all free …
She thought his eyes only held hers that way
It will set you free they say
The signs were all there… promising

Braver he got… more confident he thought
“Hey I like you” found its’ way out one afternoon
Everything seemed to be right she thought ….
Truth is those words were not meant for her ears.

They fell on the ears of a close friend.
A friend who doesn't see those brown eyes the way she does.
Tangled and weaved the web becomes once again…

You crashed into my life
loud and unexpected - you barged right in.
I didn't notice you at first sight,
yet you managed to break in .

First as a constant in my line of sight.
Then slowly you weaved  your web into my life.

I didn't see you at first sight.
But now I think of you at night.
You were always there and I thought maybe you might...
I promise my heart put up a fight.

But here we are -
me falling and you walking away.
I didn't want to see you at first sight,
because I knew I would be right.

Eyes open eyes shut

Light flutters in like mist then fades like a silent wind.

Sunlight moonlight sunrise sunsets

Shades of light and darkness that emanate life.

Chaos and peace coexist within each transition.

Such is life and such is happiness…

Tall dark and handsome
Kind brown eyes that held mine
Eyes that shined with false promises
A smile laced with uncertainty
Kisses filled with venom that fogged my mind

I was your muse  
My laughter a song that warmed your heart.
My endless well of comfort was  your sweet escape
My aura a confusing craving you couldn’t  understand

You kept me tethered to you
To lose me meant losing your smile
Keeping me would not leave you satisfied

A charming prince turned into a Puppeteer
A princess turned puppet
Strings laced in confusion and uncertainty
Replaced the warm caresses and sweet kisses

Refusing to be tethered by fickle charm
She pulled back despite the hurt
She’s a princess after all
You were never a prince -
Just a puppeteer looking for a puppet

One was left reeling
The other went on with  life

Two people words exchanged
On a Thursday at 2:00 pm
Feelings emotions intentions coming to light
One’s truth blindsiding the other’s truth
4 months of you and me
Trickled down to a 20 minute text exchange
That’s what I was worth to you.

Her reply unshaken disappointment
His reply an aloof “don’t be stranger … let’s be friends”
Silent tears mourning the idea of what could have been - she refused to let him see her break .
Him going about life - realizing he might not really want a clean break.

Me saying take care - walking away
You saying add me on social media - trying to keep me in your life

Words said can’t be unsaid
This is how the story of us ends.

Four walls …two bodies
Trapped words ...white noise.
A house on fire...
You... me … standing burning
Pretending the fire isn't roaring.