"You don't seem quite yourself."
you used to say to me.
You never really did understand
that there is more than one
who inhabit this body
and that you only
loved one of them.

Why do you expect
everyone to like you when
you don't like
everyone?

It’s funny that for
the most part, we forget that
we are so alone.

11:12 PM
25/2/20

We should not fear
falling in love,
for it is not love that is the problem.
We are in love with everything from
our friends to our family,
from sunsets to sunflowers.
It's falling so hopelessly in love
with someone where there's a chance
that love will end so fast,
not knowing when or why,
that you wonder what the point of
falling in love was
in the first place.

For better or worse,
life happens without
asking us.
Of course I
am anxious.

If you know me by my writing,
be prepared to know me by my silence,
for the demons from within and beyond
have choked the voice out of me.
I don't want to speak anymore,
I only watch and
I write.

I miss you
so much that
your smile has become the
sun in my sky and your voice-
the wind that gently flows
through each and every
one of my days.

The universe sings its secrets
over a symphony of stars above.
We answer back with a song of our own-
songs of love and hate,
of hope and memories.
Such soul we put into our songs
and yet they are but whispers
when sung over the
eternal song of the cosmos.

Your smile puts the sun
to shame - without it the sun
doesn't shine the same

7:28 PM
10/3/20

If I am going
to be a lesson I hope
I was a good one

6:22 PM
15/8/21

There are demons
in all of us.
The sooner you can admit that,
the sooner you can get on with your life.

My memories
are carried by the southern breeze
across the oceans
to the one I long for.
Our goodbyes wonder endlessly
on foreign shores and
I can still hear your whispers
drift through the
darkest of nights.

I am
just a reflection
of yourself.

For too many reasons,
this month feels like
a memory
already.

Just know that there is
no place I go where you do not follow,
that there are no days that you are forgotten,
that this silence is a loud longing for you
and that the beating in this chest is
the desire to hold you again.
I close my eyes for yet another night
wondering when we will meet again.
But until then, it is in these dreams
where we will have to meet,
where this love remains eternal.

These thoughts become dreams
and then these dreams will become
a reality

3:44 AM
23/8/20

If our love
is a war then
I am the soldier
that promises to
lives to tell
the tale.

If you get sick of me,
then I wish your days are
filled with happiness but
when the night comes,
I may not be there
to say goodnight.

It's so easy
to create emotions-
what's difficult is holding onto
those emotions.

Of all that I know,
of all that I have seen,
you are the only thing that shines
and the one that gives me life.
Nothing is as pure as you
and as long as you exist,
there is still hope.

At the end of the
day all I want to do is
make you smile more

11:42 PM
15/5/21

I didn’t ask
to be made of glass
nor did I wish to be
thrown so far.
I didn't ask to be so frail,
to fall head over heels.
I didn’t know you
wouldn’t catch me but
I thought that glass would survive.

The hardest part
of the year was having
to say goodbye to you.
I did not want to go,
I did not want to leave.
I wanted to stay forever
where you were no longer
someone in my dreams,
but someone in my life.

I don't want to be
alone anymore writing
poems you won't read

8:36 PM
1/5/21

Spending Friday night
staring into the icy
heart of the bottle

6:37 PM
29/8/20

A series of mistakes
had to happen for you
to become who
you are
today.

Though I am lost,
I am still trying to find
my way back to who I was.
I am still out there,
somewhere,
and I believe he too is trying
to find his way back to me.

One day
you'll look back
and be glad things did
not work out.
Sometimes,
someone new takes you
by surprise and you wouldn't
have had it any
other way.

You would think
that we would be caring
for one another by now.
In a world so cruel,
why would we
go at it
alone?

I sleep alone with
empty arms but that's okay-
it is nothing new

11:20 AM
5/8/21

How can I love you
when I still have not yet learnt
how to love myself?

6:20 PM
13/6/21

Grief is a
strange thing, isn't it?
One day it consumes you,
the next, you are okay.
And then, without warning,
grief strikes again at a reminder
of what once was.
You are not okay,
again.

I love you more
than the milky way
on a clear summer night.
For me the universe only
exists in your eyes.

It's true-
this may be a
sad chapter in my life
but I do believe you
are the happy
ending.

I'm one call away
from leaving it all behind
just to be with
you

Now I am
but a second thought-
if a thought
at all.

Dear Diary;
Isn't it funny how
some people can show
more love to you
in a day
than others can
in a lifetime?

It is time to accept
that you are not coming back.
It is for the best-
I would not accept you.
What betrays me once
will surely betray me twice
and as many times
as it needs to.

When your loneliness
fades away, will I still be
your favorite one?

2:12 AM
7/7/21

I hope I make your
day better with my poems-
my words for your soul

4:01 PM
16/3/20

I wasn't in search of anyone
or anything-
until I found you.
And I have been looking
for you ever since.

So much distance,
but not between our hearts.
So cold is the night,
but so warm are the memories
we share forever.

It took me far too long
to realize that some people
just. don't. care.
Whether they hurt you,
intentional or not,
they just. don't. care.
And they'll go about their lives
with not an afterthought about you.
It's a cold world out there-
be careful who you let in.

When I laugh, I cry,
a gentle reminder of how
I cannot bring moments of joy
to your attention.
To share with you the joy,
the love, the world,
would trump these things combined.
You are not here anymore,
to share what I share,
to love what I love,
to learn what I learn.
I wonder 'what if',
what could have been,
and where we would be now-
perhaps we would be sharing the joys
we experience in this parallel existence.
But you live your own moments of joy now,
and that alone is enough,
to bring me joy.

Hey you, it has been
Awhile but my heart still
beats only for you

12:40 PM
11/3/20

It's a dog eat dog world, baby,
and I simply found myself
at the bottom of your
food chain.

Dear diary;
Sometimes I wish
I could stop existing-
no, not to die,
but just to stop feeling-
just to stop being.

Only memories remain
from the ruins of you and I.
I shift through the rubble of yesterday
but our destruction turned them to ash.
The echoes of the past still shriek
throughout these ruins but
they are just memories-
nothing more.

Isn't it ironic when
our pain helps us to write?
So much so that we get so
caught up in the inspiration that
we let the happiness pass by.
We hold onto that pain and
squeeze every last drop
of ink until our
work is done.

You were somebody
who had their good heart broken-
somebody like me

12:48 PM
22/12/21