I swear
This guilt
Will be
What kills me

Here I am
My life is good
I should be happy
Or at least not
Whatever this is

I should not be sad
I have such support

There are so many
Who have it worse
Who am I
To feel this way?

This guilt
Will be
What kills me

You'll see

What is guilt?
It's the feeling in the bottom of your stomach that makes you want to *****

It's the antagonizing voice in your mind reminding you of what you've done

It's the hard forgiveness someone gives when you go behind their back

It's the love given by those you've hurt

What a wretched feeling that can only sometimes be removed

i spoke to
a stranger
with a
hair-trigger
self destruct
button that
they wanted
to push:
and god,
how i wanted
to help-
but when
it came time
for me
to leave,
i left.

Death may dampen
the mind and soul
but one can
only prevent it
from eroding your heart

It creeps up my spine, entangling
around the cord
Until it pounces, electrifying
my soul.

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I know about these demons
All of them by name
The vices they have gifted me
Conversing with my addictions
Making plans for the future
And tightening the chains

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I've identified all the leaks in my hull
Letting the Atlantic rush on in
Duct tape can not fix every hole
That you have left in me

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I do not care about this body anymore
Wishing to rid myself of it
Liberation will be the song I shall dance to
Once this heart has forgotten it's rhythm
And my blood pumps in tune again

the sea sings of
all my sadness,
i hear it in the waves that
beat relentlessly,
in the sky that dreams of softness,
in the sands that stretch like golden tides.

At times you speak with no filter
eyes shutter and life becomes darker.
Without the negatives
there are no positives.
Focus, you are your perfect picture.

A moment, captured
Perfectly
A detail, remembered
Sharply
A recollection, visualized
Clearly
A camera given a soul.