Title          : My Life With
                     Monster Pain
Poet          : Phyll
Genre       : Life/Pain/sorrow
Year          : 2018
P/SwNO. : 116

( Content; this piece is based on my own true story and applies to our day to day life experiences.Anyone who reads this might find it weird and some actions i did to be stupid but i had no choice.Life is full of pain and when we find ourselves in this situation tend to shy off from our on demons instead of facing them.Personally pain pushed me to the walls twice i attempted to commit suicide with no success but just added more pain on myself.That's when i realised that,no matter how difficult life is and how much pain you endure DON'T give in to those crazy ideas that run through your mind but instead get positive and helpful idea.)

MY LIFE WITH MONSTER PAIN-By Phyll

Life is full of unexpected things,
Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turn to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with a monster called Pain.

In my life I have lost big opportunities,not once nor twice but uncountable times.

I had even forgotten how to smile,
how to see a bit further, beyond this misery.

I had also forgotten how to be happy,
how to trust anyone, give them power over me.

I had even forgotten how to be me,
I buried everything deep inside, just to hide it from others.


You taught me how to smile again,
to laugh without reason, to cry from the joy.

Dear Pain,
Thank you for revealing my error again,
showing that path of tears lie in sorrow, not in joy.

Thank you for taking it all away,
making me to hide myself again, to trust no one.

Thank you for telling I am nothing,
pointing my place, to be an outcast in life by my own choice.

And now
I'm making love
Not with a fake human being
But with a brand new razor blade.

Love me,
my razor blade.

Peel my skin,
make me scream.

Sink so deep,
make me weep.

Cut my flesh,
make me bleed.

Take my life,
set me free.

Conversing to myself like a mad man,
Not even 'like' but i had gone insane.

With nice little twist,
I slit my wrist...

Not waiting for life to ****,
rather my own blood I spill.

It's my own choice, I have no fears,
only pain, in eyes some unshed tears.

On the floor, blood making stains,
slowly releasing me from my pains.

****** stains, stains like in my soul,
caused by all the pain, this life Is so full foul...

Vision finally fading away, soon it's all done,
staring darkness, oh so black, soon it's all gone.

Soon I'm released, free from this pain,
suffering and life, it was all just in vain.

Thought,how funny blood makes difference between life and death,
farewell life, so painful, so useless, gonna take my last breath;I told myself.

The pain i felt left many queries unanswered but rather more questions continued acquired.

Why should I listen to my heart,
When It brings nothing but pain.
Why should I fall apart,
When Everytime is the same.

Why should I follow a fake a dream
knowing it will bring nothing but more scream
Why should I ... ?
When I ...

Do you feel me ???

Why should I wait all day?
I feel but I cannot speak it out,
Why do I feel this week weak?

You Moster Do you really feel me?

Why should I go through this agony?
Why can't I just follow my destiny?
Why can't I just let of life?
Maybe because ...
Maybe ... Maybe.

Dear Pain,I do feel You,
But have you ever felt me?

No doubt that;

The pain is in me,
The pain will not leave me.
The pain is all i feel in me,
It's now apart of me.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

Only in darkness do i find peace,
Only in darkness can i escape.
Only if this darkness could stay,
But unluckily it wouldn't obey.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

But this only added more pain,
I guess they were right;
When they said 'No Pain No Gain'.
The pain i felt made me gain more scars,lesson and experiences never to be forgotten in my entire life.

No doubt that,
Life is full of unexpected things,

Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turns to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with monster Pain.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
COPYRIGHT BY PHYLL
*(C)2018.

MYSTERIOUS WOMAN.Vol 1
The Encounter vol.1- By Phyll

(two campus students meet for the first time.the male is so active and social.he tends to keep the conversation spiced by fluttering the lady.the lady is also fun to have around since she's not only beautiful but also classy.)

Phyll; "You're super cute. What's your name?"

Her; *Laughs "Oh thank you. It's Shivanny."

Phyll; "Have you had this affect on everyone today or just me?"

Her; Laughs "Just you."

Phyll; "I don't believe you. I think you get dressed up every day to see how many random strangers you can meet. You're that random stranger meeter I heard about on the news. The one that keeps stopping all the guys at MMU from getting to their classes."

Her; Laughs again "Oh my god, who are you?"

Phyll; "I'm Phyll, good to meet you."

(we shake hands)

Phyll; "So, how do you like attending school here?"

Her; "It's cool. The people here are nice."(let's assume she doesn't ask me a question back)

Phyll; "It seems cool but I'm actually not a student here. Don't tell anybody (whispering). I'm just visiting from that other school across town. You ever been?"

Her; "Oh Strath? Yeah, I like it."

Phyll; "You seem cool. We should hang out sometime." Pulling out my phone "What's your number?"

Her; "Not that quick boy.Meet me at the parking later.My number is KQA 001S.

Phyll;"meaning?"

Her; "c'mon charming!"

Phyll;(staring with the 'i don't know look)

Her; "Kenyan Queens Association 001 Shivanny. Find that machine in the parking"(as she walks away)

...Boy-child left speechless...

To be continued...

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
COPYRIGHT BY PHYLL
(C)2018

I realize that
survival isn't
blowing out all my candles
so someone else can be my light

Cause i am a "turn the lights off
put some music and light up  candles"

And you are a " get your clothes off and lets have *** "

No wonder we were never
Compatible
We were never
On the same page
~MR
©mrpoetry

You left me without words to express
My face said it all
No tears came out that day
but certainly there was heart ache

After you broke me again... and again
You asked my remaining pieces
If i could stay
And even though i thought about it twice
I knew you were more pain than love
And i left -
~MR
©mrpoetry

My poems in recent years has become,
The distance calculators: with its up and down
No one can stop them at the boarders, or
Seize their nouns or pronouns,

They can’t or will not be subject your isolation,
because of the singular/plural and tense disagreements.
It doesn’t need a visa or a green card to enter
the hearts of many poetic minds

They believe in us: we believe in them:
It doesn’t need your permission to make others smiles
My poems would always be foreign to you,
Like my way of eating a soft mango:  
with just a little opening at the top:
Because of the poems autarky: its freedom will prevails throughout  cyberspace:

Translated in the gift of tongues,
My poems owes you nothing,
But it promises you more,

Let my travelling poems, be my gift to you;
With a trendy feel of a human touch
in which the world need now.

Free *****, but allow my poems to travel far
Without your inputs:
Those who would look a gift horse in the mouth do not deserve the gift. Quote Brian M

Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful thing: Quote

love yourself, then my poems, appreciated them for what they are,
because what this world need now, is love, sweet love,
not  hate, free ***** but let my poem travel.

Let’s swim with our heads above the water
but our bodies defying the currents of the sea.
Let’s care not, the wants of others
and indulge in who we want to be.

Let’s drown in ourselves
and for once, forget the needs of others.
Because it’s been too long
we’ve cowered and cried the nights,
unfound beneath the covers.

I heard the alarm burst last night
Put me in the driveway, the smoke in the sky
Veiled the moon and flames ripped the roof
House down, house down

I sat on the sidewalk, barefoot with crisp hair
Heard sirens scream and babies scared
Crying for holy water and the dormant gods
Heaven down, heaven down

They told me I would be safe
If I stayed put where I was laid
I scorned these streets and scorched the people
Who marched through puddles unafraid

I am the candle who’s met its match
Stripped down to the wick and molten wax
Smell the charred roses and barbequed grass
Woman down, woman down

I see red and feel the sting
Sparks dancing on my fingertips
Pinching them shut, they turn to ash
I refuse to burn this city down.