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18.0k · Sep 2014
~Sunflowers~
Mike Hauser Sep 2014
She picks sunflower blooms, humming a tune
While dodging drops of rain
Hoping the move will heighten the mood
And bring about a perpetual change

She spreads the petals in the morning meadows
In hopes the rumors are true
With the yellows and greens, mixed in between
She'll release the color of blue
15.6k · Apr 2013
the color blue
Mike Hauser Apr 2013
as the colors

are given away

take all that you need

all i ask is that

you leave all the blues for me
This poem was featured in the online magazine StudioAirr.com.
13.8k · Apr 2013
~Toad Licking~
Mike Hauser Apr 2013
There's a colonel in most every town
And chicken he does know
But the youth of today are not finger licking
They're licking of the toads

When they run out of their drugs
They must run out of their minds
When the toad lickers come a licking
Best to run and hide

Yes, they've found a brand new high
When their *** is running low
The poppy fields have all run dry
And the cow patty mushroom is no mo

The city kids head to the swamps
Just hopping at the thrill
Grabbing at amphibians
And licking them at will

With every tantalizing lick
Trippy little colors do they see
Pass around the froggy
For another lick if you please

But who am I to judge
As crazy as it looks
Could it be as bad as crack
With one lick and you're hooked

I have this nagging question though
That bothers me to this day
Who was the first to lick the toad
And say this taste okay
        
~ribbit~
9.8k · Apr 2018
Why Poetry
Mike Hauser Apr 2018
When people ask me
Why poetry
Why not pick a paying profession

Take hold this truth
That I'm laying on you
In which there is a valuable lesson

If you do what you like
You're going to find
Life holds treasure in wonder

Instead of the dough
Taking you out in its tow
And then pulling you under

When you're doing things
Think more the gifts they bring
And not money to be made

When people ask me
Why poetry
Do I really need to say
8.3k · Dec 2015
*The Spark*
Mike Hauser Dec 2015
Just when your world collapses

To the point of fall apart

There still resides a tiny spark

Deep within your hungry heart

The tiniest of slivers

A slight glimmer of hope

A righteous nod from the voice of God

Letting you know you're not alone
7.6k · Aug 2015
~Chris's Beard~
Mike Hauser Aug 2015
I want a beard like Chris's beard
But I can't even grow hair on my chest
This may sound strange if not a bit weird
That I have a Chris beard full on man crush

I swear I'm not ***, why I'm even straighter than straight
You can call my house and ask my wife
She'll tell you I'm out back juggling chainsaws all day
And other manly things I do with my life

But with hair on my face there's not the slightest trace
Not a follicle will you even find
But with Chris's beard I think that it's clear
That sucker could grow over night

So yes, I want a beard like Chris's beard
And that is the straight up fact Jack
Cause with a beard like Chris's manly beard
I wouldn't have to put up with anyone's crap
Check out the photo on Chris's site...cool beard! Have I mentioned that already?
6.5k · Mar 2013
Hippie Sale
Mike Hauser Mar 2013
Over a cup of morning java
Scanning my daily mail
I came upon an advertisement sheet
That exclaimed in BOLD rainbow pastel

Grand opening of a store that has everything
On the corner of Daisy and William Tell
The one thing I saw that interested me
Is they were having a back to "60's"  Hippie sale

Of course I stopped what it was I was doing
Hopped in my Lexus and left right away
The excitement had my heart all in a flutter
This I guarantee is going to be a good day

They weren't kidding when they said they sold it all
I'd been wandering the store for quite a while
That's when I came to what it was I had come here for
Before me in trippy little colors, the hippie aisle

So I bought me a couple colorful hippies
With my 25% coupon I was able to save
The Hippies even  came with a bonus
Fresh cut flowers and Jefferson Airplane tapes

When I got home I showed them to their room
Black light posters and colored beads hung from the door
As luck would have it I bought an Indian hemp rug
From Pier One just the day before

They taught me transcendental meditation
While I taught them both how to bathe
Their lessons broadened the mind
My lessons the nostrils saved

I soon had a groovy little hippie pad
In which organic vegetables and enlightenment grew
We'd sit around crossed legged in a  purple haze at night
Playing psychedelic tunes on our Kazoo's
And I was pretty good too! Who Knew!

Yes, a house of happy hippies
Is a happy hippie house indeed
Especially when Wendy Crystal Sky...Yes, that's her name*
Brews her famous dandelion tea

I highly recommend the purchase of hippies
I couldn't be any happier with mine
Sure beats the punk rockers I got on close out last year
*But that my friend is another tale for another time...
6.3k · Mar 2014
Why Poetry?
Mike Hauser Mar 2014
When you ask of me, why poetry
I'm not sure you understand
That it's the center of my universe
The very depth of who I am

The molecules in the air I breath
Oxygen pulsing through the veins
The storm brewing beneath the surface
The pounding of the rain

It's the timeless anticipation
Of the thought that's yet to come
The tearing open of life's seam
The beating of the drum

The first peak of the desert flower
When it feels the gentle touch of spring
The smile in the eyes of a child
And all the joy it brings

The in and out of the tide
In the pulling of the waves
When you ask of me, why poetry
What more is there to say
6.2k · Nov 2016
Lay Me Down
Mike Hauser Nov 2016
Lay this poet down
When the time arrives
In a field of fresh cut words
On a bed of softened rhyme

Feel free to cover me
From my head down to my feet
In a poetic form to keep me warm
Perhaps a blanket of allegory

Place a silken sonnet pillow
Underneath my weary head
In a field of fresh cut words
On top a rhyming bed
6.0k · Mar 2014
A Feel Good Poem
Mike Hauser Mar 2014
Here's a little something to make you feel good
A little ditty to brighten your day
A poem to let you know that your not alone
Come what will...Come what may

Here's a little invite to the morning
Something in which to start up your day
If you could RSVP that we can expect your company
Then we'll be on our way

Here's a little tune that we can hum to
In perfect harmony
Finding what's right in life, setting all else aside
Will be the song we sing

Here's a little moment to make it all happen
The perfect amount of right in the frame of mind
We'll find what we're hoping for, life's open door
As we step inside

To share that little something to make us feel good
To help send us all along our way
This simple poem to let us know, we are not alone
On this day we will call today
5.9k · Oct 2014
cash cow
Mike Hauser Oct 2014
come on now

let's all bow

down before

the gold cash cow

where it is

we ain't got spit

sitting in

our money pit

still we crease

every knee

hoping cash cow

is here to please

of course then

on a whim

we'll get up and

do it all again

so come on now

let's all bow

down before

the gold cash cow
5.7k · Feb 2015
A Mess Of Poetry
Mike Hauser Feb 2015
I've come to the conclusion
That my life's a wreak
Poetry strewn all about
My house the biggest mess

So here I am in the middle of the den
In a pile of poetry on the floor
A desperate man with phone in hand
Since I can't seem to find the door

I call up a Psychic
I call up my Shrink
I call up the local Priest
To ask them what they think

They say there is no hope for me
Through the static on the phone
Right before they all hang up
I hear...boy you're too far gone

So I grab a hold my bootstraps
Pick my own self up
Determined to have this problem licked
With prayers and major luck

Starting in on this poetic clean
One thing that I found
I wrote on just about anything
That I had laying around

There was poetry on party napkins
On Chinese take out meals
Tiny poetry on tiny matchbooks
Even on banana peals

Poetry on the chandelier
Poetry on my cat Floss
Poetry on ***** dishes
I wrote with spaghetti sauce

Poetry on the mirrors
Smiling back at me
Poetry on Seinfeld
Across my T.V. screen

Poetry on the kitchen tile
That's never seen a mop
On the doors going in and out
And places I dare not look

I started cramming it all in boxes
Lining them up and down the halls
Soon had them in every room
3 feet deep and 8 feet tall

I made 15 trips to storage
The biggest one that I could find
Feeling now it's nice and safe
All packed tight, warm and dry

When it all was over
Feeling relief from that major chore
Set down in my den, took out my pen
And started writing more...
5.2k · Sep 2018
Mental Slavery
Mike Hauser Sep 2018
Slipping and sliding
Back into the past
Foolishly buying
All the foolishness they've said

Stacking me against you
Pitting you against me
Does it hurt to stretch the truth
If the lie is so easy

Keeping us under lock and key
Mental Slavery

Under their thumbs
We're being kept
Simple pawns
In their game of chess

We take them at their word
This herd of talking heads
As we rely on every line
That we're being fed

Keeping us under lock and key
Mental Slavery

With the slightest of resistance
We feel we should fight back
But at our own insistence
It's ambition that we lack

So we follow along the path
Eyes closed to reality
Turning us against each other
Makes it hard to see

Keeping us under lock and key
Mental Slavery
4.8k · Sep 2013
Pirates
Mike Hauser Sep 2013
Feared on both land and high seas
Many a tale can be told
Of the pillaging of neighborhoods
Daily setting sail these pirates bold

Days spent digging for buried treasure
Leaving no stones unturned
The pirates ***** was out there somewhere
Blackbeard's gold is what they both yearned

After a day of living reckless
The warm waters would call their name
Where they would do battle in their sailing ships
Perfecting this pirate game

Both of them young brothers
Buccaneers through and through
Wise enough to listen to their mother
When she said get in the tub you two

Yes their high seas are warm bath waters
And their cutlass a mighty scrub brush
As legend would have it in their short years
They are pirates of the tub
4.7k · Apr 2017
~The Family Matriarch~
Mike Hauser Apr 2017
She is the chalk that draws the line
The sturdy rope, the ties that bind
The go-to when times are rough
The sweetness in the breath of love

She sets the rhythm of the day
She is the all in all she's made
And we, the gallery of her art

~The Family Matriarch~

She is the hope in all of us
The shinning light, the path of love
She is the strength from out the start
The very beat deep in the heart

And after all when all is said
Her children rise and call her blessed
Accepting life through joy and scars

~The Family Matriarch~
Just thinking of my Mother and feeling blessed at the strong Godly woman she is. It's been 13 years since my Dads passing and my Mother at 87 still holds the family tightly together.
4.6k · May 2014
Pie Baking
Mike Hauser May 2014
This is how you bake a pie
Find some fruit that's really ripe

Measure stuff into a cup
Take a bowl and mix it up

Bake it till it smells real nice
Hopefully just like a pie

Take it out while it is hot
Find the best of cooling spots

Take the pie that you just made
Find a clown and fill his face
4.5k · Apr 2014
Share The Feel Good
Mike Hauser Apr 2014
Here's a little something to make you feel good
In hopes it brightens up your day
A poem to let you know that you are not alone
Come what will, come what may

Here's a little invite to the morning
To what is now the start of your day
If you could RSVP that we can expect your company
Then we'll be all packed and on our way

Here's a little tune that we can all hum
Laying it out in perfect harmony
Finding what's important in life setting all else aside
Will be the one song that we sing

Here's a little moment to make it happen
The perfect amount of right in our frame of mind
If you find that you are hoping that the good times now are open
Then you my friend again are right on time

So here's a little something to make us feel good
To help send us all along our way
If we all jump into this flow, no telling where it will go
Through out this new bright and wonderful day
Mike Hauser Aug 2013
Straight out of prison
Wondering what I've been missing
Right out of the gates I stuck out my thumb

A van load of hippies
All from Mississippi
Stoped and asked, hey dude...what's going on

I'm here for adventure
Well hop in then Mister
Adventure is what we're all about

Now where we're all going
There's no way of knowing
A van of hippies and parolee freshly let out

We ended up in Disney
Me and all of the hippies
Where we had caboodles of fun

We met Mickey and he saw it
When I lifted his wallet
Now we're in the Magic Kingdom all on the run

We split in different directions
To throw off detection
It's A Small World is where I made my mistake

With that song stuck in my head
It's a fate worse than death
Prison now sounds like a wonderful place

We rendezvoused in
The Pirate's Of The Caribbean
Where soon after, in came the law

We all jumped from our boats
Splashing around in the moat
And had ourselves a good old fashioned pirate brawl

We soon made our escape
Out of exit door 88
Finding ourselves in Frontier Land at night

Where in the middle of the street
Were Mickey, Donald, and Goofy
All with guns strapped to their sides

We ran into a shop
And bought guns on the spot
All with Mickey's money...he's a mouse of a man

Mickey squeeks we're going to ruff you up
As Goofy holds up the cuffs
And Donald says something we can't understand

We had a shoot out
With cap guns no doubt
After all Disney runs a safe place

Ran out of caps in our guns
Which stopped our lives on the run
The wrath of Mickey we all now would face

After justice's hammer
I'm now back in the slammer
This time I made my own prison bed

Now I cry every day
What more can I say
With It's A Small World still stuck in my head
4.3k · Nov 2013
~Googling~
Mike Hauser Nov 2013
Hanging out new to the scene
So often wonder what that means
As I sit in front of the world's screen
Started in on ...Googling

I typed in a single word
Pressed enter for the Google search
Took me down the path absurd
Where all the lines were blurred  

From there I ventured off the path
Wish I'd known there's no turning back
Marveled at the knowledge that I lack
Like how to whittle your own baseball bat

Just in case you're wondering
Midgets don't melt in the rain
Who doesn't think that that's insane
As I dive deeper into Googling

The art of bathing a Hindu rat
Skinning a two-headed Siamese cat
The taking of the perfect nap
Standing up while keeping your lap intact

How to delicately pierce a Rhino's ear
Dressing up then down a deer
50 different ways a man can cheer
While toasting his favorite Micro beer

Abstract art using cotton *****
How to paint between the lines on paisley walls
Teaching Yankees how the South says ya'll
Lost episodes of the show called Lost

Food served upon the world's menus
Even specialties from Timbuktu
Why the sea is green and the sky is blue
As my googling madness continues

More artwork this time with the jam of toes
How to pick your friends but never your friend's nose
Cleaning of the house without a stitch of clothes
The whole time being careful with the vacuum hose

80's Hairbands I used to like
That now know what bald feels like
Making a homemade Hindenburg kite
One that lands this time

How to handle midlife like a man
Taking a survey of what you could have been
Raising Spider Monkey's  in the comfort of your den
As I keep on Googling

I now find myself Googling out in front
As I'm Googling from behind
Googling up as I'm Googling down
To the left and to the right
I've learned how to gargle Google
That's a well known Google fact
And if you don't believe me
You can even Google that
4.1k · Feb 2014
~Hippie Farm~
Mike Hauser Feb 2014
I moved a few years ago
To the upper state of Vermont
Although the place is beautiful
At times it can be one great big yawn

That's when we put our heads together
Me and my best friend Shawn
And came up with the great idea
To start a Hippie Farm

Our noggins were a knocking
Not sure how this could be done
Do Hippies come from packs of seeds
Or like flowers, in a bunch

And can you start them off by grafting
Like they do on Apple Farms
Where you get rows and rows of Hippies
From just a single one

That's when Shawn remembered this mail order magazine
That we took out and took a look inside
It came with an assortment of Hippies
From Raw to Roasted to Highly Deep Fried

So we sat and weighed all of our options
And ordered a bushel of Hippies alive
Then we set out cultivating the fields
Till the day our Hippies arrived

The package  arrived a few days later
In an old beat up VW Bus
With psychedelic smoke pouring from the windows
Pretty sure they all came buzzed

Of course Hippies don't come with instructions
Only bell bottom jeans and old Jefferson Airplane tapes
Can't tell you how many Hippies we went through
Before we learned from our mistakes

Like don't plant a Hippie face first in the dirt
They need a bit of air to breath
And they don't like to be over watered
Just dust them off when you feel the need

Now that the farm is up and running
We seem to have come into our own
We've even come up with  a way of branding
Some of the Hippies that we've grown

We started selling them in flavors
Like Ben and Jerry's down the street
From our Abbie Hoffman Radical Cherry
To our Hendrix Hazy Purple Berry Treat

But it's our Groovy Rainbow Roundup Hippie
Whose sales have never let us down
In fact I'd put that Hippie up against
Anybody else's Hippie in town

I've never been much of one to brag
But we're known on the East coast, up and down
We've had people as far away as Florida
Come and buy our Hippies by the pound

So next time your up in Vermont
Stop in and take a tour and watch us grow
Don't forget to stop by our gift shop
And purchase your very own Hippie to take home
4.0k · Dec 2018
People are Crazy
Mike Hauser Dec 2018
People are loopy
People ain't right
Inside of their heads
Out of their minds

People are nutty
Loco coco bean
Imaginary buddies
Putty for brains

People are batty
Fruit loops that fly
Come in different colors
Confetti minds

People are special
They say with a wink
Jumped the train trestle
Over the brink

Pick one or the other
No answer is wrong
It's all the above
When people are off
3.8k · Apr 2014
Welcome Home
Mike Hauser Apr 2014
Those that don't believe
Wonder what it is I see

In Jesus

Not unless you hear the call
Will you ever know for sure

Nor believe us

With this crippled soul
I want you all to know

He's not a crutch

But because he is the way
I will follow everyday

Out of love

I was once like you
Thinking that I knew the truth

And didn't need him

Then God stopped me in mid-run
Introduced me to the Son

Now I believe him

It took some time to realize
I was a pawn in Satan's lies

Who would have known

But now that I believe
Jesus is my greatest need

Welcome Home
3.7k · Feb 2014
If I Should Boast
Mike Hauser Feb 2014
If I should boast of anything
The Cross Of Christ my living King

With outstretched arms His love divine
Held out for me, forever thine

You took the sin of this wretched man
Upon yourself with nail scared hands

All that you ask is all that I am
A humble soul, a broken man
3.7k · Feb 2015
the massage of rhyme
Mike Hauser Feb 2015
there's a certain pain
you can't explain
although you've tried
it has no name
it starts out right
between the eyes
then makes it's way
into the mind
of this your sure
there is no cure
of what ails you
to the core
still you try
with all your might
as you turn to
the massage of rhyme
you choose a poem
known or unknown
you can cling to
and not let go
you sense relief
as it massages deep
giving over to
your basic needs
as the pain
slowly fades
you know that all
will be okay
3.5k · Mar 2014
The faithfulness of God
Mike Hauser Mar 2014
Because of your faithfulness

I am able to stand
On the promise of you
Not the wisdom of man

Because of your faithfulness

I can see past the pain
Of what this world has to offer
As I fall on your name

Because of your faithfulness

What tomorrow may bring
Will not weigh me down
It's your song I will sing

Because of your faithfulness

You pour out your love
On a people in need
Of the glory above

Because of your faithfulness

There is not a one
That can't come to the Father
In the name of the Son

Because of your faithfulness*

I will boldly proclaim
The power and glory
*Of your Holy name
3.5k · Oct 2014
~Snapchat~
Mike Hauser Oct 2014
My kids introduced me to Snapchat today

The taking of pictures that soon go away

The fading of happenings is not new to me

I've had it for years with my memory
3.5k · Jun 2014
The Good Old Days
Mike Hauser Jun 2014
Grandpa, tell me about the good old days
I want to hear of your younger ways

When there was no T.V. and there were no cars
When at night you looked up and could count the stars

About how you skipped stones across the lake
With no video games to entertain

What's all this about fun being free?
All this old I hear sure is new to me

Did people really sit and talk?
And where they went did they actually walk?

How did you survive without a microwave?
I bet cooking then must have taken days

You say your parents let you just run about
Were they not afraid you would be kidnapped?

And you didn't come home till dinner time?
Grandpa to me that just doesn't seem right

Did Moms and Dads really stay together
like they promised, till death do us part?

Cause they don't do that that much anymore
and it can really mess up some hearts

Did you talk much with your neighbors
even though you lived miles apart?

Cause mine are living right next door
and I don't even know who they are

You say there weren't warning labels on everything
How in the world did you feel safe back then

And without a cell phone in your hand
How did you keep up with all your friends

Grandpa, did you not ever get bored
Chasing down the wind in the great outdoors

And you say you had everything that you could need
All this old I hear sure is new to me
3.4k · May 2013
*Sun Catcher*
Mike Hauser May 2013
The Sun Catcher in my kitchen window

Twirls as it tosses light

Brightening everything it touches

Adding a sparkle to life

Catches the Suns special wonder

Brings it into my room

Plays off glasses and dishes

Dancing to its very own tune
3.4k · Dec 2013
Today's Tolerance
Mike Hauser Dec 2013
Why is it the supposedly more tolerant
Are the least tolerant around
Can we no longer speak our own minds
Without someone out there shooting us down

Feel free to speak your opinion
I'm more than willing but never forced to listen
That there my friend is your basic right
A freedom that seems to be missing

Are we not free thinking individuals
Did I miss the memo where that's no longer allowed
Should I just step into the jet stream
And become a part of this mind numbing crowd

I can clearly see that you are not me
Isn't that what it's supposed to be like
It also rings true that I am not you
So can't we just live our lives

It's hard enough standing on your own two feet
That's why at times we might step on some toes
But can't we all just get along
After all we might like the way that it goes
Mike Hauser Jun 2013
You say that you're a Democrat
There must be something wrong with that
Have you done gone and lost your mind

You say that you're Republican
Fat and angry twice as dumb
Ain't that what all Republican's are like

Why can't we all just get along
Holding hands singing Kumbaya
Ain't that what it is Americans do

Instead of arguing all the time
Over who is wrong and who is right
Telling each other to go get *******

I think we all just need to see
Who's our friend and who's our enemy
Instead of fighting amongst ourselves

If we all would take the time
I'll kiss your rear if you kiss mine
We'd have that part settled if nothing else

Still Democrat, believe you need
To get yourself a lobotomy
Then you would at least have half a brain

And Republican get yourself a heart
Then perhaps you might just start
To be somewhat loving and semi-kind
All in jest...
Who needs a hug?
3.4k · Apr 2014
lavender moonbeam
Mike Hauser Apr 2014
i tagged a ride
up along side
the tail end of a lavender moonbeam

with nary a care
as it darts here and there
effortlessly moving on its nightly stream

i fashioned a kite
made from solar fire
stitched together with starlight dreams

in the design
of cloud #9
on the tail end of a lavender moonbeam
3.3k · Sep 2013
The Meeting
Mike Hauser Sep 2013
I'll have my people call your people
Where they can set something up
Make sure they schedule a meeting
So we can get something done

We'll put our heads together
Brain storming like never before
Working off bold charts and diagrams
That we've drawn up on the board

Calling out for coffee and doughnuts
We could be here all night
Screaming and hashing it over
Till we get this thing  perfectly right

Only one thing I need to know though
That's not exactly clear
Who called this meeting to order
And why are we all here
Mike Hauser Jul 2013
They've been working on this for years
Inside the government
To try a replace the brain of man
With that of a purple eggplant

This idea to me sounds genius
If you know what it is that I mean
People round here might start making sense
Pass the veggies if you please

They called all the top notched scientists
And vegetarians throughout the land
To see what would be the best variety
In this eggplant transplant experiment

They settled on the aubergine
Great Brittan's joy and pride
When it comes to the perfect eggplant
Those Limey's will not be denied

They were afraid if they went to the private sector
That person would surely be missed
So they grabbed someone unsuspecting
Inside of the government

They told the low level employee
A bit of truth mixed with a little white lie
They needed him for his vast understanding and knowledge
Plus they'd be serving cookies on the side

They added a little something to the cookie dough
That knocked the governmental genius to his knees
Plopped him down on the gurney
...Let the experiment proceed if you please

They cracked his skull wide open
Where upon they couldn't believe their eyes
Right there inside of his cranium
Already an eggplant did reside
3.1k · Jun 2016
A Fathers Love
Mike Hauser Jun 2016
If I could just take back that moment
How many drift into that thought
Then I wouldn't be without
That which I have lost

Turn back the tick of time
Spin left heavy the hour hand
Then what I lost would still be mine
Stopping mid pour, time's grain of sand

If I could you know I would
But alas I can't
And with that said I know it's best
To leave it in God's hands
I can't get the tragedy of my friend losing her 10 year old nephew in that horrible accident while on a missions trip in Mexico out of my heart and mind. The family while heartbroken is handling it well with Jesus Christ as their foundation. When your world crumbles the strength of the Lord will keep it steady.
3.0k · Mar 2013
The Front Gates Of Graceland
Mike Hauser Mar 2013
Hare Krishna's
In their Pickups
Depressed Comics
Down on their Luck
Teenage Girls
Screaming Meme's
****** *****'s
Leftward Leaning
Vincent Price
Flo and Eddie
Rodger Rabbit
Priscilla Presley
Nuns in Habits
Dwarf's in Ponchos
Deadbeat Dads
Munching Nachos
Right-Wing Nut Jobs
Trading Slogans
A few Hero's
Including Hogan

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Buddhist Monks
With Electric Banjos
Holding Signs Up
Of Marlon Brando
Taxi Cabs
Blaring Show Tunes
Pregnant Women
Down-loading Soon
Derby Jockeys
Flying Monkeys
Kool-Aidholics
Skittle Junkies
Bozo The Clown
Bumper Stickers
Psychedelic
Crazed Toad Lickers
Rhinestone Cowboys
In their Skivvies
Gothic Girls
Heebie Jeebies

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Blue Haired Granny's
In pink Moo Moos
Ballerina's In
Tattered Tutus
Mathematician's
Number Crunchers
Even have Some
Out to Lunchers
Model 50's
Do *** Daddies
One More Round Of
Flo and Eddie
People Sneaking
Across the Border
Lonely Fry Cooks
Taking Orders
A Few Wannabes
Not Saying Much
Will The Real Elvis
Please Stand Up

Are just a few of the sights that you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Thank you...Thank you very Much

Ladies and Gentlemen
Elvis...Has Left The Building
3.0k · Jul 2013
The Handkerchief
Mike Hauser Jul 2013
I was going through my drawers today

And came across the handkerchief

I had used to dry my eyes

On the day of my fathers death

I never did wash it

Those tears hold meaning for me

Although they have long dried and gone

Never will his memory
2.9k · Aug 2013
Mid-Western Taco Stand
Mike Hauser Aug 2013
I frequent a little taco stand
Every time that I'm out west
With Elvis behind the counter
Dressed in his leathers best

Janice Joplin doing dishes
With Southern Comfort breath
Arguing with fry cook Jim Morrison
Over the best way of cheating death

Jimi Hendrix works the tables
That they have set up out front
Recommending the mushroom taco
With the psychedelic crunch

Marilyn Monroe...the entertainment
Nightly serenades the gents
While wearing here favorite T-shirt
Bobby Kennedy for president

I highly recommend the little taco stand
If you ever find yourself out West
Who's going to show up to take your order that day
Could be anybody's guess
2.9k · Aug 2013
~Insert Catchy Title Here~
Mike Hauser Aug 2013
~Insert catchy title here~
Sometimes that's all  you need
To get the ball a-rolling
To get your poem its read

It may not make much sense at all
They'll figure out in time
But before it is they do
~Insert here the perfect line~

As your drawing to a close
The readers mind you feel like bending
The next line is the spot where you
~Insert here a killer ending~
2.8k · Sep 2014
Your Hometown
Mike Hauser Sep 2014
Welcome back to your hometown
Nothing much has changed since you we're last around
Time never seemed to make its rounds
To visit the streets of your hometown

You've been away from this place for years
Never skipped a beat nor shed a lick of tears
So why do you find yourself back here
Thought that when you left, you made it clear

You swore you would never come back again
A promise you made way back then
You had your why's you knew your when's
Your old hometown was no way to live

As you step back onto Main street
You ain't felt this sidewalk since the 90's heat
You find yourself not surprised to see
The reason then you had to leave

On the front porch of your old house
You reach for the door before you chicken out
That's when it is you figure out
Why in the first place you left your hometown

You turn your back and turn away
To confront your demons another day
Where your less scared or your move brave
In what it is you have to say

So here it is another round
Of one handed goodbyes to your hometown
If your ever had your doubts
Your no longer welcome in your hometown
2.8k · Apr 2013
"Shopping"
Mike Hauser Apr 2013
I needed to do some shopping
On poem ideas I was running low
So I checked out the local flyer
To the downtown poet store

Just to see what they had on sale
Some of my friends they call me cheap
But why pay full price if you don't have to
On all the rhyming words I need

The front page slapped me in the face
With the Spring Cleaning Sale Galore
Everything I needed was half price
So I headed straight to the store

I ventured up and down the isles
Filling my basket with the best of rhyme
Getting a few extras of every word
So I'd have them when the time was right

I stocked up on love and encouragement
The right words I carefully chose
Because in my experience
You can never have to many of those

I even took a few from the back
Down a darkened isle where the lights were low
Being a poet my mood can rapidly change
And what words I might need you never know

With my basket full of wonder
I felt my day of shopping done
Confidant and ready
To go home and continue writing poems
2.8k · Sep 2018
Today's Elephant Scare
Mike Hauser Sep 2018
This morning
I went to the kitchen
Opened the pantry
Found my elephant missing
Along with my favorite coffee mug
And my Better Homes and Gardens subscription
At first of course
I thought of the worst
Elephantnapped
Is what came to mind
And me right here
Playing into my fears
That's the end
Of that friend of mine
But then I thought of the refrigerator
Where I know he goes to cool down and relax
And that's where he was
Between the yogurt and mustard
Lounge chair, second shelf in the back
With magazine and coffee mug in hand
2.8k · Apr 2015
Candlelight Vigil
Mike Hauser Apr 2015
They stand in fragile circles
Lighting candles for their dead
As the memories that float on the breeze
Are all that they have left

The tears that pass between them
Have a somber silence that's deafening
You can feel the souls they're crying for
Touch them on the winds of change

As they light another candle
Another day goes by
With the tears that keep on flowing
Where they are forced to wonder why
Mike Hauser Aug 2018
As I strolled  down Beaker Street
A neon sign flashed in front of me

That said "Only Serious Poets Need Apply"
(Blink) "Need Apply" (Blink) "Need Apply"

So it was I thought to myself
I can think of nobody else

As serious a poet as I

I looked to the right and the left
Feeling pretty confident about myself

And decided to take a gander inside

The room it was totally dark
In the corner was the tiniest of sparks

I did a stately poetic stroll in that direction

Feeling I might have made a mistake
This thought occurred a little too late

But of course this whole scene might just be window dressing

A voice said we don't need a poet at all
Just someone dumb and gullible

That's the moment in my pants I started messing

Turns out it was a mad scientist
With a masters degree in craziness

What were his dastardly plans I could only be guessing

I was grabbed by a couple of **** thugs
Who highly dislike deodorant and mouthwash

******* and flown off to the smallest of islands

Where they did unspeakable experiments on me
In the first, second, and third degree

All because to insanity they took a liking

When it was they were finally done
With what those nut jobs consider good fun

Don't know how many walls they had me climbing

Daily now I plan my escape
I only hope that I'm not too late

When the opportunity arrives I hope I don't blow it

I find it so hard to believe
That this all has happened to little ole me

And Why?
Because of me being such a serious poet
2.7k · Nov 2013
Mail Order Personalities
Mike Hauser Nov 2013
I'm checking the post daily
Can't tell you how exciting this is for me
Since I called the 1-800 number
From that mail order magazine

While one day sitting at the dentist
I picked up said magazine
A full page ad which made me gasp
A colorful array of personalities

I've never really had much of one on my own
So I ordered a couple dozen
Sitting here anxious for my order
And so far I've seen nothing

I'm wearing a path to the mailbox
It should have been here by now
When it does arrive I'm first taking out Impatient
Then placing a call to tell them about themselves

I hope I remembered to order one Romantic
Cause I'd sure like to impress Mary Lou
As it now stands I feel less a man
Around her I don't know what to say or do

Imagine my surprise when the box finally arrives!
I open it up with a slight giggle
Just like that the personalities fall into my lap
For a moment I felt just like Sybil

Lets see there's one that's Strong, one that's Flirty, one that's Shy, one that's Quirky
One that looks like it's Mighty Proud
A personality that's Fun, Debonair, a Serious one
All I know is I want to try them all out

These days when you see me around...AKA "The Man About Town"
The one that has the large following of friends
Everyone loves the tales that I tell, now that I tell them so well
The way I weave them from beginning to end

They all want to hang out with me, there's something special they see
Looks like I've come out of my shell
Now I don't think twice as I jump into life
Since things have been going so well

And all those personalities I own, I now leave those all home...
I keep the box locked high up on a shelf
I found the best personality I have is the one I was born with
And that people tend to like me for myself
2.6k · Aug 2013
Amazing Love, Amazing Grace
Mike Hauser Aug 2013
This is my prayer Lord
I raise to you on each new morning
If you'll just carry me
Throughout these many days

For I am weak and I am tired
Life can be a beast of burden
More than ever I need the strength
Of your Amazing Grace

Your going to have to do this
For I am no longer able
My spirit's weakened
My wills the same

I need your hand
In all that I am doing
Lord, please hold and guide me
In your Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace
A sound that's never sweeter
Amazing Love
You've set aside for me
Taking my place
That love is ever deeper
Amazing Love, Amazing Grace
2.6k · May 2014
Rip Van Winkling
Mike Hauser May 2014
I've got my Rip Van Winkle on
I've got my dreams all packed
Now all that is need be
A shady spot to lay my head

One that is unmoving
That will be around for years
When roaming the halls of slumber
Time is the first thing that is missed

I sit back as I relax
With a good book in hand
I commence to yawning hard
Enter stage left...Sandman

I've got my Rip Van Winkle on
The rest is history
I'll see you all around sometime
But only in my dreams
2.6k · Apr 2013
"TABOO LOVE"
Mike Hauser Apr 2013
My Mamma cried
When she'd heard what I'd done
My Daddy went back inside
And he grabbed his gun

I'd met a ******* the other side of town
Of course I am white and of course she is brown
I don't rightly care cause we're both in love
And I ain't gonna let her suffer none

We's from Birmingham
Down South Birmingham Alabama you see
If'in you must know the year
I'd say a shameful 1963

There was unrest amongst the people
Which was bad enough
But it was doubly troublesome
On our taboo love

Deep segregation kept our worlds apart
Something the youth of the day couldn't see
Outside color don't matter, it's what's in the heart
That's the hold she has over me

Not really sure things have changed all that much
Though it's our nature to want to pretend
I'm not much into caring what others might think
Sometimes you gotta stand up like a man

I'm telling this tale from my front porch swing
As I listen to my Grandchildren's playful screams
While holding hands rocking back and forth
My lovely brown skinned beauty and me
2.6k · Sep 2014
~Chameleon~
Mike Hauser Sep 2014
Oh Chameleon,
You change before my eyes
From blue to red then back again
As you don a thin disguise

Oh Chameleon,
You keep changing on the run
From yellow to green to me it seems
Your hiding out from love

Oh Chameleon,
Your not out of the woods just yet
From orange to grey with the things that you say
Were you ever really here before you left
2.5k · Nov 2013
I Drive A Truck
Mike Hauser Nov 2013
I drive a truck
Which makes me a manly man among men
To those sissified 70's
I never caved in

Heck yea, that's country not disco
You hear blaring in the back
Which sometimes rattles the triggers lose
On my shotgun rack

And yes I do live down South
But not a redneck per say
My camouflage leisure suit
I only wear holidays

Or out to special dinners
Say Denny's or Huddle House
You know those fancy places
Where there's no spitting allowed

So getting anything more outta me
I wish you good luck
Now where was I going with this?
Oh yea...I drive a truck
2.5k · Feb 2014
I'm Cheating On You
Mike Hauser Feb 2014
Yes it's true I'm cheating on you
Blatantly with another site
I'm so enamored by her poetry
We're now hanging out  in broad daylight

I keep going back and forth
Between both you and it
Pouring out poetry deep from my heart
Now I'm not sure I can ever quit

I do feel a tad bit guilty
This sharing of my poetic love
But like you heard, with the written word
I can't seem to get enough

She accepts me for who I am
Even welcomed me with open arms
I was thinking the whole time in the back of my mind
What could possibly be the harm

Now I feel I'm in way to deep
To swim out of this cheaters stream
The current is swift and the banks are steep
Guess I'll just drown in sweet misery

I'm so glad to get this off of my chest
Perhaps it'll take away some of the guilt
Although I sometimes hang with that other harlot
I want you to know I love you still

Yes the rumors are true that I'm cheating on you
With another poetry site
A month ago who would have known
I'd have more than one mistress  in my life
Well I certainly feel better now!
How about you?
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