As I lay in bed
Listening to the harmonies of Gaia
The crickets play an ensemble
of strings
Follow by the alto rain that sings melodies of love & grace
Finally the rumbling roar of thunder
A behemoth of baritone brass notes
to disrupt the soothing articulate ending
An ending to remind me of a bittersweet finale
This piece is known as laments of my truly dearest

As I inebriate this broken hollow shell
At the dismal hours
of an aching heart
Tired eyes that only finds comfort within art
Shattered mind
Pieces everywhere
It's all fallen apart
Motionless to where I wander life with only my ear
With the rehearsal of nature subsiding
I'm only left with the drone like monotones of quietness & loneliness

A reflection of the abyss that spirals inside me
Once fallen
Numbness becomes seductive
Just like a black crimson dress
Appealing like a sensual flaming rose, but misleading
as you're pricked by the blackness of each thorns
Like nostalgic memories
Joyful moments that always end with mourns

I glare at the foggy misty window
to see gray faded portraits
Dull without a soul
Gloomy & yet so innocent
like notes played in dissonant
With that extra note that makes you sound beautiful

The night soon creeps at the calm of the storm
A moment to reminisce
the day I laid eyes on you
the day that ended with a kiss
Malevolent, but fragile in the inside
Like a mirror
One poke to fall apart elegant like
You needed someone to love you...

As I wake up to nightfall storms
A reminder of uneasiness
As if the storm was telling me to never forget
As if the storm was the manifestation of woes
A reminder that it was real...
Just one more moment to have
my hands feel your pearl like skin
Your velvet & golden eye...
Finally your goodbye
Taken away by vines
You told me it'll be just fine
Resonance that echo
a broken man

Finally your demise...

From the days I've always held your hands
To every drop from the sorrowful
waterfall
From beautiful paleness to crimson illness
Night to day
Sunlight ray
Love like rich soil
Hollowness finally at bay

Beautiful like a porcelain doll
Like a sunset from a mountain fall
Memories of a blissful past
Emotions sustained like an icefall
At long last
My truly dearest...

From the summer breeze
To the autumn fall
The winter night
An endless darkness
I wish to see the light

Pain from a raven's claw
forceful despair
As if it was divine law
Distastefulness
From a tainted pear
It's too much to bare...

As the last leaf falls from the oak tree
Only a skeletal structure remains
From its former beauty
A monolith of youthful & elderly
Like funeral roses
Dying in many poses
Red scarlet child
As the last petal falls
One last breath
At long last death

Mourning rainfall
Soft spoken lullabies from the wind
Lamenting days that ceases to
exist anymore...
Upon the ocean shore
Whispers of the waking dead
Midnight blue moonlight
Symphonies from the ocean floor
Alone at last
With my truly dearest
Ruby diamond eyes
No more frightened cries
Promise me you'll never leave again
Promise me you'll always stay
forever...

The irony of fond memories
Suppressed by alcohol
Dreams I love & hate to recall
Something so beautiful
Like the breeze of morning fall
Autumn days
Enchanted by spiced pumpkin haze
Lost in motion
Nostalgic emotion
Innocent days
Artistic comfort
Lullabies day & night
My mind left to wonder
A forest of hollow
Wind that tells me
it's okay to sorrow
It's torture because
it's beauty that was real
Now it's something
I can't touch, but only reminisce about
If I only had one more day of my youth
I would indulge
Treasure every second...
If I had one more chance to enjoy that feeling again...
Maybe I won't be drowning my thoughts to sleep
Spinning in a blurry world
Until I start my day & night
The place I called my home
Now a wasteland
A place I would come & make sense of life
When I fell on my knees
Now it's obsolete
I can't feel that love
I can't feel that joy
I can't feel that comfort...
All gone
Like I said
A wasteland
Just there to exist without purpose
8 years
Of dwelling
In the idea of a nice fall
One that won't feel so excruciating
One with someone who loves me all
Until then
These memories are just notes of a soothing violin
Notes that will eventually disappear in the vast twilight
of the past

Maybe in some other lifetime we can be together
Somewhere along the road our souls will remember who we were in the previous life
Beneath the moon
Night blue shaded sky
During summer nights of June
To hear your voice and never say goodbye
We gaze
We love
We listen to each others heartbeat
We indulge this night
Reality is out of sight
Time ceases to exist
In this heavy mist
Of ecstasy
You are my remedy
Blessed  
You are my serenity
I must confess
Heavy breathing
I love your melody
As we lay side by side
Ashes to ashes
The children of the night
Sing lullabies
Sound asleep
Breathless
Underneath the sky
I love you
Now we can die

I've been thinking and reading a lot recently
People who claim to be enlighten
Are not really enlighten because
Enlightenment is about being one with everything
Enlightenment is seen as knowledge & awareness
I guess the “spiritual people” lack an understanding
Of duality
That life is based on good & bad
Enlightenment and being one with everything is accepting
Both the horrors & wonders of Life
Thus creating balance, which is now “being one with everything”
Instead of waving sacred geometry as the all knowing thing
Or bragging about, “I know the Fibonacci sequence & the golden ratio”
Don’t get me wrong! I enjoy reading about spirituality, sacred geometry, and other marvelous topics
Nor am I bashing people’s beliefs
I just see people misinterpreting the message
A great and funny example that had me thinking was what Palpatine/ Darth Sidious from Star Wars Episode III revenge of the Sith said.
“Anakin, if one is to understand “the great mystery” one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the force.”
That principle revolves around the same idea as being enlighten & being one with everything
If someone was to become “enlighten” he or she has to face the trials of learning to love and also embracing that there is a horror that lurks around us that we are oblivious to see.
I think once someone see’s both sides of the picture is when someone becomes “enlighten”  
Because they understand how both sides work
Enlighten --> duality --> balance
This is how I just view the topic of enlightenment
You don’t have to believe what I wrote
I could be wrong
This was merely me ranting and expressing what I feel lol

I once sat on the horizon of the universe
Wondering the concept  
Of Nature
Seems like a curse
Like a song played in reverse
Incomprehensible
Undoubtedly insensible
To the spirit of the eye
Do I dare to die?
Even if I could
The sounds of men & women
Still stand by…
As if I didn't exist
Do I even exist?
I do feel love & pain
So must mean I’m alive, but
I’m unseen to the vision of others
I can't be heard either
So I must be dead?
I ponder whether reality is real or not
I've lost track of time
Honestly, I don’t know if time is real or not...
I feel the same
And look the same, but I've seen the sentient sphere
Grow from the smallest seed into
The greatest tree of energy and
Into the dust
Drifting away carelessly
To be discovered
Like poems
Stories
And plays
An anthology to knowledge
To become philosophy
And into theology
To cause war
And then finally
Balance
Am I the cause of this?
I ask again, am I alive or dead?
It is said, we are born from something
I came from nothing
I was created by nothing
I wonder, what is nothing?
Is it my mother?
Is it my father?
I seek truth as you do
I seek comfort as you
Am I one of you?
You say I am all that is perfect
That you descend from me
So that must mean we are one entity, but your stories say,
“Nothing is equivalent to the”
And you doubt my existence
Soon I’m forgotten once again
My question again, am I alive or dead?

The atmosphere that surrounds us
A spiral of ecstasy of delusion
Breath by breath
Until time feels obscure
Her shadow sends shivers down my
Spine
A well carved statue
To glance at it
A privilege that fate can only grant
Her perfume
So hypnotic
Brings back memories of past
lifetimes...

I’m speechless
Breathless
This marvelous land of white beauty
Midnight blue ruby
It was the artist life duty to construct
This walking ivory creation
Such passion
A gift that will last a legacy
So gorgeous  
Such a remedy
Given life
She sings such beautiful melodies
Around her
Brushed painted
Ravens
It’s that beautiful mesmeric velvet smile
That will torment
A soul to insanity
And beg for haven
Her voice is so tender
Yet so powerful & aggressive
It’s such an obsession
By the gods!
**** me now
Before I die
Of beautiful madness
This being
Has created
Love that kills
Like a dove
Innocent
Joyful
Beloved by all, but
Corrupted by the horrendous
Piece of art
God curse you!
So elegant
I want to scratch my eyes out
Make it stop!
I want to stitch my ears shut
SOMEONE! Please
Chop my head off!
I want to cry until my last tear drop
I've had enough!
My sanity is gone
Keep this fine piece of art
Locked away
They will not understand it!
They will never understand the language
Of artistic beauty & love
Evil demon spawn!
Only in death!
Will you find salvation
From this aesthetic work of art
My life is falling apart!
I've never took a life
Maybe it’s time I take my own
Should I just slice my heart open
And let it stream like the fountain
Of Pirene
To where my blood becomes
The elixir of inspiration to artist & poets
To recycle an endless
Madness of art
Artistic suicide!

Sunset of Apollo
Rises upon the goddess of the moon
Graceful
Love of all
Drifting by the lake
The soul,
Once a fulfillment
Of delicate
Symmetrical
Structures that held
A deity together
The spiritual duality  
The love,
Flourishing through
The celestial azure
Between veils
Of Embers
Spreading like haze
Upon tranquil blaze
Soothing by the arctic breeze
Textural glaciers
Like indigo crystals
Seas of endless art
To pass on
To what feels like a dream
The life,
That felt incredible
Amity between
Forces that were inseparable
The hand
Upon the soil
Of the crimson stone
To feel rhythm of the velvet heart
An ocean that spreads
Scarlet sheets
Nourishing the seeds
Becoming the verdant children
With halos of blissful pigments
Into a mixture of tears
Blessed by mother Gaia
Blossoming for all to see…

Every layer that covers the sky
Beneath the end of every lullaby
Holds a gift
That lies and says goodbye
Driven & deprived to be nocturnal
Sleepless nights Cursed in vain
Any man to have you…
Thorns of pain that feels eternal
Magnificently a breath taker by divine  
Hallucination of the fibbed eye
To tell such lies
You were created by Aphrodite
Crafted by serenades
Beauty carved by the finest blade
Hazel diamond shades
It’s often said, weakness for elegant grace
Drives the loveliest man insane
Reminiscing in the hollow mind
Echoes from the cryptic name
I close my eyes
To hear the melody of the rain
Indulging in each drop that makes a note
Forming an orchestral perception of a dream
Recollection of memories…
Gentle flowing through the entrance of the stream
Anything for one more glimpse…
Lamenting the past
Voices
As I wake
Wrapped upon the cloak of the sea
Glancing at the beautiful moon
Spiraling my soul around her celestial body
As if I Projected
From the stars to the ocean
Reflection of my Luná
I hear the symphony
She sings
Calmly and peacefully
As I daze away
Float away
Losing grip of the moon
I pray
Just to stay…

Lonesome heart
That walks the fields of heaven
Arise upon accession
Through the meadows
With no aggression
Pleasant aura
Sphere that shines down before me
The stream
From the vessel
Aqua that is the key
That carries life
The dust & bones
Becoming false love that turns into stone
My failure for another
Misunderstood compassion
Misconception for love is lost
Despite of my action
Empty like deep space
Searching from dream & reality
For the sweetest taste
Asking questions from the wise Oracle
Will my heart ever find a mate?

Eden
My home
My soul
I don’t feel whole…
Harps of the angel
Tones played
Ever so gentle
Like a gust of euphoric fragrances
Scenting the air
As if the wind could
Recite poems
As marvelous as
Jade stones
Upon golden thrones
Visions of sunset mountains
Portraits of ocean blue fountains
Parallel between the Elysium fields & Sorrow acres
Blocked by shields of prayers
  Empyrean
The land
Of ecstasy & enlightenment
As I grasp a breath of air
I close my eyes
A vineyard of pleasures
And grassy lands that seek adventures
With bouquets of red wine roses, but with
Thorns that end sentiments
And decomposes
Gazing one poses
Forbidden until time fades…
Grab both your hands
Maybe the next lifetime
Where daylight shows its beautiful anthem

Never in all the life times had I lived
For this aesthetic moment
It’s a beauty of torment
A commitment of energy
Time and century
From one past to present
The future flourishes
From the tiniest grain
That grows life
To where our souls might cross one day
In the sphere
Of Gaia
Green plants from the beautiful ground
Blue skies
Surrounded by the beautiful white angel
Look after her soul
Protect her from who they once stole
Care for her
For she brings heart & soul
As the story goes,  
  The weak & the needy
Dream for no blackheart
Shot by the arrow that purges
Life
Love each other
Never fall apart

As Apollo sun sets
Silhouettes of the appealing moon
Dream I’ll soon
To what becomes
A forest of past memories
Sketches of my truly dearest
Along the midnight blue river
An ensemble of creatures
That roams and creates pieces
Played to unburden the soul
As I lay beside the oldest tree
To watch the night sky
Fireflies’ prance
The beautiful moon
Amusement to the eyes  
To stare upon this
Enchanted aspect
Of green nightly shine among the forest
Amber glowing
Shaded night
To see it
Would be a lie…
Privileged to have created a night
A sea of enjoyment
From the one dream
Failure to grasp beauty
Until now
As if kismet intended to be…
Love each day
As if it’s your last
For one day
Maybe we could lie in the grass
Consume life
For all it’s glory
One day will write a story
If not now
Then a lifetime is worth waiting

The alabaster beauty
Covered in dark ink
Around the white sky
Two beautiful brown spheres
Decorated with two streams
Of a blushed river
That spoke about life, knowledge, and the unknown
Curiosity for adventure
The path of duality
    Of a reality
That seems to bring peace to the mind,
But an ocean of emotions
Hard to find clarity within the heart
It’s that graceful stare
The has me falsely asleep
From the lovely music of the harp
To every pain that felt so sharp
My days were discarded
Every creature passed by me
I refused to give attention
Because I was taken
Into another word that lingered me to stay longer
As I was inebriated by blue drinks
And that gorgeous smell of hypnotic fragrances
That heavily seduced me for my loyalty
And my devotion to make sure you felt like royalty
It was worth every
Born child that rose
Young from the early sky
And died an old man to say goodbye
From the ashes
To return as another child to repeat the cycle  
Watched from the heavens
By the arch angel Michael  
  At first sight
Your grimly desire for destruction
Worried me, but somehow interest me
It was during a time of transitioning
That I needed another soul to not feel alone
I guess you can say certain things come in certain disguises
Never misinterpret a gift from divine
Always ask wisely
Always be kind and never take things for granted
Truly a gift
Of love and pain
Truly a privilege to have known and cared for
Truly worth feeling pain
With someone worth being lost in the rain of the final days of life
This crimson stone is rooted from the dirt of a sorrow mind
That needs to be free
To enjoy passion with one who is not a soul
To have hand by hand
To feel love and pain again
To serenade during the lovely full moon
To be side by side during the hour of the sun
I wish things could have gone differently
Actually have a night with you
To explore the cosmos of our mind
And find the true Eden that lies through our eyes
Life feels like a decaying painting
That’s slowly fading away every century
Waiting to be discovered again
To have color and meaning again
You were truly the first, but never the last
To my final words of this chapter,
Blossom for love be a day
As the passion sails away
Thus a story of forbidden love
Exotic colors turned gray…
Beloved, truly a life gift
Sadly, our eyes will soon shift
What was it that drawn us together?
Was it the dreams?
Truly had me floating away like feathers
The portrait that played the lovely cello
Across the forest
Mislead for a land that is sorrow
I will love you again
In a different land of dreams
To have you day & night
Until I die tomorrow
For now, I must forget your name…
It will never be the same

I am what’s left of a dying breed that called life beautiful
Truly worth living and dying for
But it was your kind that fornicated, violated, and devastated the soul of a beautiful entity
Who gifted us with art, beauty, and taste for desire
Maybe it was her who corrupted us for loving us too much
Or was it our nature to have more than we are given?
Demanding more and more
Until we ****** the life out of the meaning, be grateful for what you have
I’m sick and nauseated by the false portrait of life
Sick and twisted figures painted with false smiles
True emotions hidden under heavy painted sunrises that tells a different story
Literally sweet and innocent characters erasing themselves from this reality
Just to escape the hardship of this imprisonment your people have created.
I can’t stand to see your kind preach to us, we do it for the art, for the beauty, and the taste
You cursed that meaning
You ripped the soul of a greatly spirit
You proudly preach a lecture of hypocrisy and false love
If you truly cared to love us
You’ll not be worshiped like a god
Deep down
Angels are dead
Demons are dead
The doctrine of the trinity
Is my doctrine of my divinity
I am the Father
I am the son
I am no holy ghost
I am a plague
Not from hell nor heaven, but a world that rejoiced beauty from an unbalanced reality
Of love and hate
I am not your God
I am not the Devil
Both are dead
No creator can save you
I am your deity
I am your life
I am your death
I am your escape
I am your only freedom  
This profound meaning
Ascends through my heart & soul
The flower of life spreads through me
Like a wildfire
No angel or demon
Can’t stop me
Proclaim me as one in all
I am divinity!

You absorb the supplements of life
Resources are obliterated
Left & right
By tonight your life will be ended by the knife
I've awaken from an eternal slumber
Count down the numbers
You oppress Art
The beauty
You tainted the taste of absolute harmony
Your desire to have power
Has blinded you
You eat our flesh like starving vultures
You left us to be tortured
The rapture will soon be among us
Nature will take it places
To immaculate this famine land
Natural selection will have entirely new meaning
I’ll pick up where you left off
For now…
My sentiments for aesthetic judgment
Will run through every vein in your body
Clogging every end
Suffocating you in every way imaginable
The oceans will dry
This green sphere will rebuild itself
New seeds of life will cleanse
This heinous reality

What is being intelligent?
Is intelligent being a person who’s a prestige's individual that mastered every curricular course
And can solve every question with no hesitation
Or
A person with Down syndrome, Autism, Mental Retardation, etc…
That has a unique characteristic that makes them who they are and do things other people can’t?

Sensual by Aphrodite gift
Crafted by serenades
Beauty carved by the finest blade
Hazel diamond shades
It’s often said, weakness for elegant grace
Drives the loveliest man insane
Deprived to be nocturnal
Sleepless nights
Cursed in vain
Any man to have you…
Thorns of pain that feels eternal
Magnificently a breath taker by divine
Hallucination of the fibbed eye
To tell such lies
Rhythm of the velvet heart
Harmonies sung so peacefully & softly
Spirits are drawn together
Like two alabaster doves
  Loving each other daily & nightly

Ever the moment
Hug you dearly
Love you
Like no God can ever imagine
Look me in the eyes
Can’t we just make life happen?


Lonesome heart
One failure after another
Misunderstood compassion
Misconception for love is lost
Despite of my action
Empty like deep space
Searching from dream & reality
For the sweetest taste
Asking question from the wise Oracle
Will my heart ever find a mate?

Echo’s from the cryptic name
Reminiscing in the hollow mind
Close your eyes
This is all a daze
Smoke with delusional haze
Crossing paths…
Can’t across the maze
Forbidden until time fades…
Grab both your hands
Maybe the next lifetime
Where daylight shows its beauty rays…

Never in all the life times had I lived
Time and century
From one past to present
The future blooms
From the tiniest seed
That grows life
To where our souls might cross one day
In the sphere
Of Gaia
Green plants from the beautiful ground
Blue skies
Surrounded by the beautiful white angel
Look after her soul
Protect her from who they once stole
Care for her
For she brings heart & soul
As the story goes,  
  The weak & the needy
Dream for no blackheart
Shot by the arrow that purges
Life
Love each other
Never fall apart

As the sunset sets
Silhouettes of the appealing moon
Dream I’ll soon…
Privileged to have created a night
A sea of enjoyment
From the one dream
Failure to grasp beauty
Until now
As if kismet intended to be…
Love each day
As if it’s your last
For one day
Maybe we could lie in the grass
Consume life
For all it’s glory
One day will write a story
If not now
Then a lifetime is worth waiting

Elusive trail to find amity
Disillusioned by refinement
By the artistry  
They paint the false idol
Sustain life
They are incarcerated
Entities become suicidal
Just like a recital
We play one note
The audience becomes
Mesmerized
They’re hypnotized by a false legato
Seduced by the long and smoothed melody
Never to be awaken
Lullabies from a harlot alto
Close your eyes
The murals
They’re out of proportion
Like unwanted infants
Doomed to abortions
A time of lies
An age of deception
Awaken the mind to divine
Those who give you the path of ascension
The era of misconceptions
Come back to life from resurrection
We suffocate from abused tranquility
No hope of possibilities
Life suffers from unbalanced symmetry
  My broken heart
It’s hard to watch
Killing for pleasure
They raise war from down under
Life is lost from a hail of thunder
From the ashes
They pronounce, we are deities
Long live the king
He’s nothing more than a story
We are the glory
Endless violence
Speeches
Of power
Hope is no longer a matter
I give you 1 hour
Open your heart
Open your mind
Leave your bodies
Leave this declining
Reality
Before you’re consumed by wealth & power
Say goodbye
We are no longer…

I crawled from the darkest cave
Once a slave
People are going to die
I shall let them die undignified in their graves
You blame yourself for this
You lack clarity
We have the same similarities
Look into my eyes
Does this look anything too alright?
Fear not
For tonight
For we live life freely
Convert the weak
And out their chastity
It’s our destiny
Let our *******
Lust for calamity
We dry out charity
For beverages of intoxication
Wild flowers for hallucination
No serenity
Just amusement
Of lucid insanity
I can still remember
As an infant
The cries of others
I hated it
I wanted to destroy it
But deep down
I wanted more
I wanted to hear them suffering
I wanted to be king
To be unseen
And then rise like a god!
Let my rain of terror begin
Here I am!
A nightmare comes true
I’m beyond any being with power
I am GOD!
Stand in my way
Every
Man
Woman and
Child
Will die
This is my world
You will never leave it
After death
I will remain to rule over you
You’re mines for the keeps
Don’t sleep
Reality is your nightmare
I’m first in line
No way hell I’m going to die
So don’t even try!
I want you to cry!
Suffer greatly!
I soon woke up remembering…


That I’m still chain to this oppressed floor
Truly... a dream to a nightmare

Sleep my dearest child
Stop lying to yourself
And stop living in denial
From the day you left the womb
The white angel
Protected you, saved you from horror
Shield your eyes from the martyrs
He had a plan for you
We waited for you
We suffer for you
They rise from hells doors
The infant
How he laid on the floor
He saw us drown in our disparity
Fight to be on top
And let the others die at the bottom
He wanted more
As the heavens cried
Our feathers fell one by one
We saw the people drink the poison
We were once the voice of reason
Not us!
They needed someone
Your were best known
You frighten the smell of brimstone
Your brown hair
Your skin
Not like the others
He loved and cared
  Like a mother & father
Protecting us
Glowing like a ray of sunshine
Guarded us with a golden white halo
Wrapped around his vines
We slept and dreamed peacefully
We new his name
They did not care
They had no shame
They felt his wrath
They lost the game
He forgave them
We no longer lived in pain
Our beautiful dream
Became a nightmare
Now tortured on his torn crown
He weeps because he’s our
Friend
We cry this is the end
High upon the sky
Glowing angrily
Once a true beauty
Now cold & dead
Left behind
His last words,
Sleep my dearest children
It’s time to stop crying
My love for you is large like the ocean
Life is filled with terrible notions
Goodbye & farewell
I might be dead, but life is not over.

As our life’s
Sinks away
My motive to bring you back home
Become’s lesser and lesser
Oh, lord
Would we end up together?
This lifeless life
Disappears as the
Dust is carried away
Within the winds
Of these heartless memories

Will you come back home?
When the waterfall
Is finally dry
Across the sea
I seek a land with pearls of
Glorious textures
For something I shall bring back
One day we will remember
For now we have to wait and see

With lose endings
A hope of fulfillment
Closure from flying angels
As the moon shines
Down upon me
I grab the sky to
See something faithful
Only a dream
Can bring us together
As men fall in line
Open opportunity
Fall back into my arms
I still wait on this hill
Across this fear that I
Feel
I see a light streaming across me
Surrounded by the dark and
Terrifying ocean
Wait
Just give me one last gaze


This home is what still remains
New or broken
It’s always going to be the same
Please stay forever

Covered in silence
I shall return home
No flood of fear will hold
Me back
Through the sea of blood
I shall return dead

Pardon my word; understand me that life is covered in a dark veil of ominous textures
Enough with life long lectures
No time for adventures
It’s time to catcher

No time to fail, the past is dead
No words can be said
Inside my eyes spells red
Father said, no words to be plead

Pardon my word; understand me that life treasures are far from the ordinary, go ahead and smile. When you realize that you’re a traitor, I've called the dealer
Life is such a cheater

Cry all you want, no one will ever hear you

Pardon my word; understand me you have no freedom

Out of this mind
I try to shine
You think it might be fine
My life feels decline
When someone you loved and cared
Feels like a shadow and I’m feeling despaired
With great accomplishment opens to opportunities
But all that can be ended and then the afterlife I feel descended.
I come across your path without knowing who you are, but I wish I had a chance to meet you.
I can not judge you by your cover, but you’re like me
With this red beating heart we carry
I’m sorry you life was short ended
But one day we will meet
Like saying, life has never ended
I only new the idea of you
But I in all honesty I care
I care because you’re my brother
If not related then I say, your story has never ended
I picture us laughing, crying, trying, and surviving
To put this to an end, rest in peace my friend, life is full of ends, but loving and caring is worth trying & dying.

Religion, such a wonderful enlightenment, but
Sadly its an idea that sit’s in the cold
Corners of reality.
Madly I search for answers on Jesus's death
A man with the power to change a person’s life
And the way they think
Come to my understanding
He died for our sins
Could that really be the truth?
The only evidence’s we have is a book that say’s, he died for our sins and world wide group saying the same thing.
What if there was more to the story?
I tell you,
Open your perception
Paint a mental picture
I promise you
I left this body through astral projection
Searching for an answer
Through a lifeless body
My soul comes across a light
With a story to tell
A story
That changes your trend of thoughts
A story from the time man could stand
Where a winged man landed
On the ground and said, I give you an idea that will change
This life from the moment I tell you.
When religion was created
The sky was beautiful
Never in my mind would I think this image would change
Into an disaster
People are being controlled by an evil master
This idea was over thrown
By the greed of men & women
Trying control everything
In sight
What happens when you have everything?
As the story goes, the day Jesus was born
Everything would change, but what if that idea
Was to change?
What if Jesus death was planned the day he left the womb?
It’s nature to feel envy towards someone with more power than you.
Jesus never lived in a church like castle, like religion does in this present day.
The man lived in a hut and slept on a rug
While high priestess slept in rooms that’s worth enough
To feed the needy for a decay.
If you look at the man he never had big robe’s like the pope does. He spent most of his life in rags and wearing sandals.  
The man ate with a wooden spoon and a wooden plate
While the church ate with sliver spoon & forks
And golden plates.
Jesus never needed a church to preach
He would just stand or sit somewhere and begin to reach out.
With religion, why do we need a castle like church to spread the gospel of Jesus if we can hear it from the corner of a street or anywhere in general?
Isn't the idea sacred?
Not the place?

Since the beginning of Men & Women
Of a sick twisted land of an epidemic
That seizes the blood of our children
For a key way to life
As it devours the bones of our young
For structure and attention
As it takes away their skin for beauty and perfection
This abomination is left without starvation
Born into a world
Not knowing of my consequences
Oh lord, why was I deemed to die?
If ever an opportunity
Maybe I could have done something
With my life.
As I watched mothers cry
As I watched fathers die
Left as child
In a ideological vision
Of I’m not blue, white, and yellow
I am not civil
More likely to be evil
Sadly I am waste of desire
Left to burn on fire
It’s crazy to wake up
In the
Bright sunny morning
To betaken away
Left to cry and left with so many worries
It’s been so long that I've seen
The ones I love
Secluded in a land of no returns
As my veins are left with remorse
My soul is torn away from me
As I’m punished everyday
Am I alive or am I dead
Days pass
Months feel like years
But this hour feels the same
I stare at the sky
As I watch angels just stand there
Let alone, I’m consumed
By a dark cloud
Drenched in my tears of crimson
My prayers are yet to be heard from this imprisonment
It’s hard to sleep
When so many voices
Are yelling and telling me
Live, but it’s so hard to hear
When the digesting sound of death
Is calling me to **** myself
This land is a wasteland
A field of unmarked graveyards
Where souls are kidnapped
Where a savior doesn’t exist
My life is on the bottom of this list
It’s hard to live a life
When I’m labeled
How I wish to play with the other children
But I’m incarcerated in a star
Please lord, give me strength
As I fight for my life
Can you uplift my spirit!
So one day I can tell my grandchildren,
I was among many of God’s children that seen hell & out

I’ve been isolated for the longest
Have I gone crazy?
Or Have I just become aware of true reality?
It’s hard to make out what’s real & not
Honestly, I doubt people will understand its true meaning.
It’s compelling
Understand me, the true is sailing
Time is hanging from the tips of our fingers
The world is covered in a thick cloud of famine
Lingering and starving without even
Realizing it
Their bodies are empty
Minds in cased
Souls sold of twenty
This world lives inside an empty
Little box
Kept inside an empty room
Last thing to say, this world is doom
Humanity?
No, people lost their sanity
People only care just for vanity
Look between the lines
There is so much animosity
This world has lost its true colors
This world is black & white
The love and joy is completely out of sight
I tie a rope around my neck
Hopefully it keeps tight
I say one more prayer
I close my eyes and I say goodnight

Men and Women were put on this earth
To love or ****
A choice given by free will
Creation fights against religion
Where my soul is tampered with
Temptation
My temptation lingers for truth
Where war births it’s
Greatest creation for devastation
How do you know life has meaning?
If you were to die
Would it ever seem to matter?
Your dreams are finally shattered
Reading a book
With old a traditional meaning
Curiosity wonders for a different meaning
Where curiosity is left to question
Where question leads to silence
Where silence becomes a rebellion
Rebellion becomes reality once again
Men and women greatest dreams are their
Greatest nightmare
Where life loses meaning
Is knowledge worth keeping?
Is life worth seeing through ignorant eyes?
Will truth be out ultimate demise?

It’s coming around again
Life through psychedelic eyes
Where everything and everyone is priced
My soul is sliced
Where truth is dealt with a dice
Gambling to see the light
Taking apart my brain
Amnesia memory
Feeling drained
Being slain from being happy again
Being forced fed
Lies and acceptance
Where freedom is left
With a bullet coming from a
Chamber of a gun
Where blood fertilizes
The soil
Let life begin to stream a new born
Shall it be deemed from the truth?
As my body is picked clean
Scattered never to be seen
You foul fiend
I yet to seize a day
That is mines
Feeling high
Just to cry
It’s so hard to die
It’s time to let myself
Be free again.

I’m far from a convivial thought
Separated by a thin knife
Who would have thought I ****** you tonight?
I poured a cup of red wine
You’re blood is all around me
Here’s a toast
For which I have not to long
I’m contented to your smile on my wall
With your eye ***** nailed to wall
Hey at least you can see around me
It’s funny I can almost hear you calling me.
You failed to keep your voice shut
And I have a love emotion
For sticks and stabs
Mother, what can I do?
Shut up! No more can be said.
I proceed to place her hand on my hand.
I started to peel the ends of her finger tips
Then I started to pin her down like a butterfly
with its wings torn from it.
It’s hard to make out if I saw a tear drop
Or another blood drop.
All I can see is a hollow face
With a hollow emotion
With a hollow glare.
Hey at least smile
As I open her smile widely.
I fear she will escape!
I have nailed her down to the ground
Where everyone can see
I began to ask my people to begin painting, but with no response in return
I’m out of various colors as I told the empty seat.
I only have one red color.
I’m out of paint brushes,
But I have only her bones and hair
Use them.
It’s night time!
I always wonder what was in you head.
I began to cut a thin strip of her head
as I began to stitch it on my forehead.
A jaunt adventure to inside your head shall give me more ideas.
I see a skeleton grave
I’m aware that you’re looking at me
And I shall bring you back
I wanted to abate your body
to save time.
Oh well…I’ll just take to soul
For which is true beauty
As I return to my room
I can still see you’re in the same position from the night I left you.
I see that the red has gone away
And I believe it’s time to play with the clay.
I dislike how you were standing.
I believe if I ripped your arms so
You’d not try to escape.
I’ll blindfold you so you won’t endure my cold bidding of creation.
I must say you look like that justice statue.
There’s no crime here!
I shall not pay for Justice!
Art is what I’m trying to create.
My ambivalence to love you, you my dear was hard because
I hated that you were my art
I regret cutting your face, but it’s too late.
OH GOD! All I can see is disgusting carrion!
WHERE IS THE BEAUTY IN THIS?
I THROUGH MY ARMS AROUND HER
TALK TO ME **** IT! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG
I'M FINALLY FAILING AT MY WORK
SPEAK I COMMAND YOU!!
DO NOT HIDE ANYTHING FROM ME
I BEGAN CUT HER DOWN
CUTTING HER BIT BY BIT
STICHING AND REATACHING HER
CHOPPING HER UP
REMOVING PARTS FROM HER.
AHHH! MY MASTER PIECE IS RUIN!!
I GRAB HER BODY
FOR WHICH IT USELESS NOW.
As I through her aside
I begin to stare at the moon
And wonder where did I go wrong?
Then I spotted the light of the moon
Shinnying down on my creation.
A tear drop finally fell upon me.
All I had to do was just stare at her
Admire her
Endure her beauty
Bath in it
And appreciate it  
Such a simple thing was suppose to be done
Beauty is something simple
Did not require dismembering her.
At last I demonstrated aesthetic values of beauty.

"Life is a cryptic, allusions misleading the enlighten path to which we have no conclusion. The mind sleeps, while the soul griefs. Imprison the eyes that can't see; ignorance becomes bliss. We harbor a disease that eliminates peace & harmony of mind & soul. Life is ****** out of us from a black hole. Born from a dying mother, the heavens are set on fire, my eyes & tongue are cut, which the demon requires. Tell me again father, when will this be over, I want to believe a land of glorious textures, will we ever learn to escape this dream or fall asleep deeper to an infinite realm of empty vessels of dying souls?

As I put my hands together
I wrap around the rosary of hope
The minutes fall
Across my hand
I yet to hear your voice
To my dear friend, I say goodnight.
A terrible message
I only wish it was a trick
I try not to think, but it’s something I have to face.
The trumpet will sound its horn
Until the morning will bring upon
Let’s hope you’re born again
I’ll never forget your name
A true friend you were
And still are
I send my guardian angel to make sure you’re okay
I can’t face this truth
A pain that can’t walk away
A day I could wish to tell you,
You’re the man
An hour to reminisce
A minute to shake your hand one last night
Tonight I will say goodnight.
To a friend, it’s hard to close my eyes
Never would I have thought an image of you would disappear
A person who is brilliant as the mind
Never again would you have to cry
Farewell to a friend, remember you’re forever in my heart and others
To a friend, I say goodnight my dear great friend.

Condemned to a body that can not move,
Speak, or even have the strength to open one eye
I’m paralyzed
Drenched in a foul smell of fear
Barely have the will to scream
My tongue is stitch
Within my mouth
My vocal chords are ripped from my neck
To endure the agony the bleary world has secluded me to
With enough will power I was able to slightly open my left eye
The atmosphere of my surrounds was not the world the walked upon
A world of constant shock
Hostility
Animosity
With the little strength I had to move my eye was enough torment to bear
A world that is hard to explain
Only to be there to feel its ugly nature
A world that blinds the eye
To have your soul collapse
In the state hopelessness
No returns
Parasites feeding off the joyful thoughts of lovely memories
That soon turns into bitter nightmares
That becomes reality
Voices from left & right
That ridicules you for hope,
But in reality it just wants you to suffer its pain
Laugh; be amused, you’re its toy of pleasure
Desperately I try to move
Scream for help
Or even cry, just to feel something other then misery
At the moment of silence
Easily manipulated like a child
For candy
I thought this world of torment was over, but only to see a bleary man standing at the corner of this deluded world
Watching me as if nothing has happen
Why do you stand there?
Why do you mock me?
Are you even human?
WHAT ARE YOU?!?
No response, but only more pain is afflicted when it starts approaching me
Facing death literally 2 feet away from me is terrifying enough
No poor soul should endure this madness
In honesty, Death, cruel punishment of every soul’s demise I advert you on this grim second of my life
Strike me as you please, just end this horrid madness
And let me escape this world I dare not to think.
I soon to reawaken into the land of the living
Grateful to have chattered the unfortunate chains
Of the world of the unpalatable madness lurking around us
Despite of this ordeal
I feel this is only the beginning of something that yet to seize us into its world of disaster.

I’m not sure whether you’re he or she
I’m aware that you surround me
Watching my every movement
Taunting me
Haunting me
Studying my unprotected body
Waking up every midnight
In a hot flash
Drenched in fear
YES, fear!
The one thing you strive for
Feeding off my soul
Until I’m an empty vessel
For you to posses
And live amongst the living
I’m not sure if you have an appearance,
But I can feel you everywhere!
One second you’re in front of me
And then the other second you’re behind me
It’s like you’re playing mind tricks
To corrupt my sanity,
Just for you to attach upon me
Like a parasite
******* the life out of me,
Tampering my vision
To isolate me from dream to reality
A desolate wasteland of no returns
I can’t escape you!
I can scream until my lungs are filled with blood, suffocating me until I’ve reach my next life, but that will never safe me, you’ll eventually find me again
I can scratch my eyeballs out, but I’m still ridiculed by your unseen appearance  
Any moment you can just appear in front of me
And I won’t even know it
You shape shifter of
Abomination
Hell on earth
Like an eternal
Damnation
Why can’t I rid you?
Why must you torment me in every possible way!
Too afraid to step foot on the ground
Hoping you don’t drag me away into another world
Too afraid to open my eyes to catch a glimpse if daylight has ascended
You pretty much have left me cornered
Terrified like a defenseless child
Crying for its mother’s comfort
Into adulthood
You still follow me
Maybe I can’t defeat because you inside me and always around me
Maybe one day I’ll just learn to accept you and live with you
Until then, you’re just a foul fiend that swims around me
Stocking me
Terrorizing me
Dismantling me till I am nothing that remains in my hell that you created

Such a simple fear that has turn my word upside down
To this day I’m left in constant awareness of
My actions
Making sure I do not fail
To reawaken you
Again
It’s so hard to sleep at night
Knowing that you’re inside me
Waiting for the right moment to
Emerge from your slumber
To terrify me
Leave me
In the corner of my room
Crying helplessly
Because I did everything in my will
To fight, but still manage to fail
I fought a long hard battle
I’ve won so far, but lost greatly in this conflict
My future is uncertain
I must live somewhat of a mediocre lifestyle
Since I was a child
The moment the sun disappeared
The darkness starts lurking around me
Leaching on my back
Why is it always night time you love tormenting me?
My answer, you were born at night
I can still remember that night
On this day
Of this month
You made your appearance more vivid to me
I saw you as an infant, but I paid no attention to you  

I remember waking up in fear
Confused because I had no idea of what was happening
Suddenly my heart starts racing fast
My breath becomes short
Panic starts to take over and you begin to
Dance in joy
Laughing at me because I can’t do nothing about it
Then you make yourself present
By ripping out of my mouth
Spreading around the ground
Coming to life
Just to mock me & make my life a living hell for the next 8 years and maybe so on
I’m tired of bandaging
You up,
Just for you to sleep peacefully
While I live a everyday nightmare
My health is unbalance
Consuming to much
Medicine to stay sane, but in reality
I’m going insane
Unable to sleep at night
Always in constant fear
My body is weak of carelessly bandaging you to sleep
I want to give up
I want to sleep peacefully
And not wake up
Knowing I did something wrong without me realizing it
I just want the fight to be over
And not live in constant fear
Watching myself consistently
For mistakes
The soul is willing, but the body needs rest
How long before I go mental?
I yet to have comfort in my life
A helping hand that tells me
Everything is okay
Writing this even saddens me
Because I yet to see hope
Not evening my loving mother
Has provided me with this
I yet to have someone or something to comfort me at night time
To rock me to sleep in harmony
Or even help me fight you
I’m so tired
So sleepy
My eyes hurt
From the lack of sleep
My mind even plays tricks on me
Falsely waking me at night
In fear that you escaped from me
I hate it
I don’t adore it
I frown upon its coming
Because I have half the mind of giving up
I have nothing else to say…
All I can do is  
Wait until I fail
So you can finish what you started
Maybe giving in isn’t so bad…
Maybe it can be a start of something descent
Until then
I must live in constant fear
In shock
Paranoia
Depression
Unable to bandage up because of the fear of
Falling asleep
And never waking up…

I lay on this old dying ground
Knowing my final moments
Are to come
No memoirs to write of a life story...
Just only regret
It’s so hard to forget
No longer attached
To my body
My mind spends time pondering &
Wondering about a glorious story
That fell from grace
Only to be soiled by
Life’s temptations
Greed
Wealth
Power
Glory
And love
Beware that the gods forbid
Love
To which I declared war
I fought strongly, but lost disgracefully
I do not have a soul to call myself a human, nor do I have the morals & ethics to call myself a man
My body is an empty vessel
Only to be consumed by creatures
That lived like me
Only known to the bitter taste
Of the Murky world we live in
Never to know the true taste of beauty
My time is up
I can hear my voice
Fading away
Echoing away into the unknown
Slowly leaving what’s left of me
Possibly living in nothing
Awaiting suffering
Being forgotten

Glare at me
Shine down upon me
Violate me
Flare up the forbidden
Knowledge that dwells in the emptiness
Of a faded paper that travels into the vast
Infinite tunnels of obscurity
A creation
With no name, no soul, no divine plan of its existence.
This thing that travels through our soul and into our hearts
Crawling and infesting light to darkness
Purity to impurity
Love to cruelty
Beauty to sorrow and darkness
Its origins is unknown
It can not be birth by the ritual of life, but made through the unnatural nature of creatures that walk on the dirt of this blue & green sphere
Fear is its foundation of life
To breathe in the leftovers of fresh marvelous gifts
That is abused and taken for granted
Tainting its integrity to forget morals & ethics
Creating a putrid foul smell that suffocates it’s only means of life, forcing it to consume its unholy gift just to grasps a bit of air just to breathe life for survival.  
It is unholy
It is an accident
Sometimes we’re not aware of it until it’s too late
We cry that we didn't create it
In vain we shout, “We are decent”
In reality, we’re nothing more than greedy infested
Corrupted sinners
Who lust for power over others!
And God has left us!
Left us in this wasteland
Deserted us in the unknown darkness
Where no one can find us
Little by little
We reach our demise
One day will cry in agony saying, “ I've regretted this life” at the final moments of life
Where you’re being slaughtered gruesomely
By what we created
Repent has no meaning
Suffer dearly
Because you created your hell
And now you must deal with it
Remember, it’s your second half
You've created.
Die with it.

I watch you gracefully
Move peacefully
Around the heavens
Confine to a coffin
Of lost souls
Unable to escape
The world that once
Rejoiced purpose
Now left to decompose away
While children of the night
Resurface to eat the leftovers
Of what was me
A dinner, a fest, a mockery of me
Split open by ghoulish fiends
A banquet of adulteration & fornication
Bathing in a fountain of pleasure
Drenched inside a velvet river
A life taker & a death giver
I lived a heinous life
Destroyed poor souls
Violated the code of being civil
Hell wouldn't even accept me
You
The moment I gazed my eyes upon you
My aggression to desecrate sentient beings
Vanished
What have you done to me?
What were you?
Why do you accept me?
Why do you love me?
I’m a hideous creature with no sympathy towards
Anything that breathes the air of
Creation
Your innocents was so pure
Your wings spread so gracefully
Your voice was so elegant
Was I dreaming?
I ask myself, why me?
What do you see in me?
I cannot be loved
I have no soul
I just have a ungodly grim heart
Dark as a raven’s feather
You
Constructed from the finest marvel
Glorifying marvelously
Upon where the gods stand
Pure like a diamond that shines
Magnificently in the light of Apollo
Yes!
You were the light to this
Horrific monster
My other half
This duality we created
Balance & union
Love & hatred
Life at one point had meaning, but time has finally caught up with us.
I watched you leave my very arms
Disappear into dust
Vanishing into the air
Returning home to recreate a new life
That roams this rock
I can never return
Only watch you from the heavens
While I suffer an eternity of loneliness
Unbalanced
And
Hatred

This black & white world
With no little delight
The concept of beauty
I have no sight
Wrapped around a needle
Ends that keep you near & dear
My fear, my dear
To be sincere,
Never age, never to be changed, don’t burn
This chapter that is our page
I’ll keep you from being caged
Leave this land away with me
Youth & beauty
Is an illusion
Our bodies will
Wither away
To dust and bones
To fertilize
A never ending cycle
We call life
My attachment
My devotion
Come to life!
I give you motion
Breathe my life in
I’ll give you life
Streams of water
Flowing through my eyes and out my veins
My state of reality no longer
Exist or nor to survive
Goodbye?
No, I’m not delusional
This emotion is unusual
A dark feeling
With no heart
Or soul
A creature that surrounds my every movement
A lifeless body that stares
Down upon me
Stitched from the ends of my skin
Dangling helplessly
I’m a slave to it’s every
Command and I know I’m truly ******
Hope or not
I see a bright light
I feel comfort
I feel… well I don’t know what to feel
No longer amongst the dust
That creates life
No air to inhale
The memories of long & gone
Treasures of beauty & perfection
I stare at this bright light
To ensure what I had near & dear
Is alive, but I curse this white light
Because it’s the creator & death eater
How can you ****** me with love and affection?
While your poison spreads through me like an infection!
It’s like a love hate relationship
How can I simply accept you?
The one thing I had purpose for is long & gone
How can you simply create life and just take it away?
Is there a point to your logic?
Maybe I don’t understand, yet.
I beg you, reconstruct me
Send me back to this dreadful
Black & white world
With no texture & structure
The inability to preserve life
I plead to return what was near & dear to me
For it’s worth something to have
In this cruel fate
It’s something that brings me ecstasy &
Ecstatic coloration to my soul
I simply plead to have
What was near & dear to me
To feel the alabaster tone
Ascend through my heart and soul
A winter land of desire
To watch flocks of black ravens
Land on my chest
To stare at the crystal blue diamonds
To assure peace between
The crimson river that flows through us
To seal a deal
With a red wave
With what is near & dear to me.