cleaned my face, fixed my hair
washed away all my tears
now stood here looking at you
wondering why, so confused
i ask around
you say you're fine
but here you are alone crying
how could you have been so stupid
how could you have let them in
you thought that they would change
well darling think again

lying here on the kitchen floor beaten and bruised
lying here on the kitchen floor looking at you
i know just what i need to do
do you all a favour and leave for good
there's so many ways that i could
i could climb this chair to the ceiling fan
tie a knot in the rope and leave me to hang
i could find that gun hidden in the walls
one good shot should end it all
i could seek out that blade
lose my sense of right and wrong
a few deeper cuts, it shouldn't take long
all i'm saying is that i could leave here tonight
but you wouldn't care, wouldn't put up a fight
a suicide note i've had no time to write
mum, dad i'm saying goodnight

let me be your most
brightest reflection in the
darkest night,
let me clear the cloud
of your ominous dark sky

i wake up every morning
and i make breakfast
i sit beside you and i eat
i read and sometimes make conversation too
but you don't know me enough
to know that i'm not really there
you haven't really ever tried
you see the scars painted across my thighs
you hear me crying to myself at night
it doesn't matter that you never see me smile
because i'm still here
still alive
if i was to leave tonight
without even saying goodbye
would you care then
would you try
would you finally realise
that i needed you to love me, mum
and you let me down
night after night
you've let me down one too many times
and here i am telling you, goodbye

words stuck in my throat
words i'd never say out loud
words you'd never get to hear
words you'd never want to hear
words i've always wanted to say
words that would change everything
words that need to be said
but these words have found their place
and these words have decided never to leave



cut me open
and let all the
ink run
from these veins,
until my words
bleed dry,
and only
blank pages remain.

i have eyes that only shine
in the sunlight
these eyes hide
in the darkness
and even though
i've got shooting stars
some wishes can't cover the pain
i've scarred my heart with