I don't really miss you
And the times that I kissed you
Or how good it felt to have you in my arms

If you don't believe me
You can come over and see me
I don't see how that could do any harm

Would you mind wearing that red dress
The one that I like best
Give me a call, I'm here all the time

I could make dinner if you like
And we could discuss it all night
Then you will clearly see that I'm not lying

When I say I don't miss you
And the times that I kissed you
Or how good it felt to have you in my arms

And if you still don't believe me
I'll let you kiss me then you'll see
After all what could be the harm

Your words are crystal clear
But my loving dear,
This love we share, I seem to fear.

Your words sound so sweet
But the truth is my love,
You were never truly mine.

Our love is like a trapped bird
Dying in its cage.
Longing for that one last taste of freedom.

And now,
Just like every other love story
I must let you go.
Because when we love something too much,
We must set it free.

I cut
Just to feel alive.

I cry
Just to feel pain.

I skip meals
Just to feel worthy.

I don't sleep
Just to feel something.

Now, I don't even know
If I'm feeling anything at all.

The truth is bleeding out of my pores
And yet the feelings are all bottled up inside
I fall out of my skin, disappearing out the back door
Losing my mind, struggling to find the best place to hide
Running laps around the sounds of my own screams
Trying to decide which dreams I should or should not believe
Thinking that my life is no more than it seems
And these struggles I have are sent by the devil to deceive
It works; the lies, the hate, the pain that I'm put through
It makes me break down and I get scared of the truth
But the suicidal thoughts in my mind all lead back to you
And the tears that stream down my cheeks burn like a fire
That's bigger than all the flames of rage from my youth
It hurts; it builds in my soul before it pours out my eyes
Becoming rivers that flood my life with disguises and lies
I don't know how to make it all fade away, to disappear
Because it's more than I can handle and I hate to admit it
But it fuels my spirit and awakens all my childhood fears
Chilling me to my core, causing me to give up, simply quit
How do I do that? How do I commit myself to suicide?
Is that what I really want? Is that truly what I need?
Do I believe that my life is only my choice to decide?
And if I hide in the corners of my mind, will I still bleed?
These are the things I ask myself every morning when I wake up
As I stare at all the sugar settled at the bottom of my coffee cup
Then the caffeine hits me and I finally start to think clearly
What was I thinking? There is no way in hell I'll ever give up