Your heart came into my hands so cold
And as fragile as ice
I was so scared to drop it, I held onto it
With all of my might
The fire of love rushed through my veins
Urging to meet this new, unfamiliar pain
Coldness
It was so unique
Your heart was so cold and fragile
But it never froze my heat
I would melt your heart if when I’d say the right words
We’d turn blue fire that was a delight to see
But not touch
A storm of feeling of both hot and cold
Who would’ve thought fire and ice could dance so beautifully
As we were together we could make flowers bloom at our feet
As we danced through the desert
Making once a desert now a garden
Spring was our season I’d presume
Little did we know while we were dancing
Time was passing
And the seasons were changing
We no longer made flowers at our feet
And the petals in our garden began to fall
I could begin to feel the summer heat wash through my veins
As your coldness seemed to go away
I watched you leave dancing
As if the seasons for you have changed
My feet stopped dancing
As I now realize the damage cold does to heat
My feet stopped dancing and I forgot how to walk
And who would think I’d be the one to fall?

Sure I'm Fine
                                                                                                      I'm Hurting
  Yeah, I love myself
                                                                                     I need more makeup
      I'm so over him
                                                                         I wish he was here
          My family is perfect
                                                             They're fighting again
                I'm over that phase
                                                            I still wanna die
                     Oh, I'm sorry
                                                        I'm so sorry
                            Yeah! I'll come
                                      Leave me alone
                                  See you tomorrow
         I hope I don't see tomorrow
                                             I think I'm beautiful
    I have so many flaws
                                                            I've got this
I'm losing it..

It hurts when you finally realize
He wasn’t the one..

I miss listening to a love song
And having you in my mind while it was playing
I miss you being the last thought in my head before I go to sleep
I miss being able to talk to you every time I wanted to
I miss checking my phone
And seeing your name on my screen
I miss feeling you holding me so tight
That I thought I’d never slip away
I miss being able to look you in your eyes
And your lips curl into your gorgeous smile
I miss being who we used to be
I miss looking at the stars and thinking they were lined up for us
I miss the I love yous and I need yous
Yet most of y’all
I miss who you used to be

We were the summer clouds
That provide the right amount of shade
So that we do not burn the earth
We were two paints
Mixed perfectly together to form an entirely new color
We were the everything that most people wanted to have
Yet most of all
We were everything I could’ve dreamed of

Somethings changed
The way you look at me is just not the same
You can see the hurt on my face
The love that’s gone & not replaced
Everyday I spent loving you
You spent wondering if you loved me
Every time I put my everything into us
You kept taking away pieces and pieces of me
I thought I heard the sound of love and
At first it sounded like cheers and happiness
But now I realize I only heard the sound of it’s absence

I wanted to say goodbye to you
Before you left
Yet how was I supposed to know
You were leaving in the first place

The hollowness in my chest
Weighs down my heart
Down my lungs sink
And it becomes hard to breath
Secretly going crazy
The silence eats me
My hands shake rapidly
But no one notices me
Breathing in the cold air
Only to feel the sting it brings my throat
My nose turns red
While i’m left in the cold
I should’ve known
You would’ve ripped my warm heart out of my chest
Made me feel hollow
And left me in your cold

Can you see the darkness behind the beauty
The lies behind the love
The pain behind the laughs
The cries behind the smiles?
I don’t think you can
Because I’ve been like this for a while.

Thought I was chasing my dreams
Yet I was just trapped in a nightmare
And I was never chasing anything
I was just running from my fears

I could speak all day on how I have faith
Yet
Truth is,
I don’t have faith
I would like to believe I trust myself
Yet I barely put an ounce of love on that shelf
I don’t have faith that the right person will come and take my love
Because I am scared
I am scared that if I gave into anyone
That if I even trusted my love with you
That it’s just going to hurt that much worse when I let you go
I’ll have that much less faith in myself the next time I even try to love
I’m scared that you’ll say all these nice words to me
And possibly mean them
But I won’t trust myself
And blow the only chance I had at loving you
I’m scared that if you saw who I really am you’d leave
And want nothing to do with me
And in all honesty I really couldn’t blame you
Yet I could blame myself.
I could have faith that all my friends right now are loyal
That they would never talk about me behind my back
I could trust them with anything
I wouldn’t even be ashamed
Yet I have been played
And most of yall just sit there and smile in my face
It’s like getting on a plane ride
And trusting in the pilot to fly me safely
But then the rumors come like birds flying into the engine
Then down goes the plane
Because there is the same flock of birds flying back my way
Why won’t they just stay in their cage?
Don’t any of you realize
You’ve made me this way
Do it again lie to my face you’ll be another bird ruining my plane
The true friends are the pilots
Trying to guide me out of the bird’s way
Yet instead they get brought down with me
My real ones don’t deserve this
I’m the one who need to take the blame
I have a couple of parachutes
Hopefully they’ll escape while they can
I’ll stay though because the day this plane finally crashes
I hope those little birds will finally realize their damage
So much for flying this plane to heaven
I could have faith in myself
But I am not going to lie to you because I need you to have faith in me
I have been hurt
The kind where you stay up at night
Wondering what you did to deserve this
What is your purpose
Do I even belong here
Does anyone see my tears
I loved and I trusted
And that just got me here
Questioning everything
Everyone
I know I am hard of hearing
But it seems like I’m not the only one who can’t hear
Or do you choose not to listen?
These are the same people I’m supposed to have trust in?
Have love for
Tell them everything every little sore
If you could see my heart
You’d ask
What’s that little clump on the floor?
Where’s yalls heart at
I don’t see them anymore
All I hear is she’s this or he’s that
All this makes me mad
Why can’t we just love each other
Is that so bad?
Is it so bad to accept each other
No matter gay, straight, bi, or trans
No matter the color of skin
Not matter what music they listen to
Or if they fit in with a trend
Can’t we all realize
Everyone needs a friend
Everyone needs to spend
Just a little more time seeing who I am
Who you are
Who he is
Who she is
Who we all are
Because that is what we need
To be able to have faith in each other.

As Morning’s grow older
Night’s last longer
Sleeping wide awake
Thinking about which way to take
Should I have money or be poor
And as I open one door
The other comes to a close
When that happens a friend I’ve come to know
Taps my shoulder
So I close the door so the old one will open
And that’s just what my friend was hoping
And he just laughs at my face
Repeating I don’t have the strength
He reminds me of all the reasons not to
Most of all he reminds me to be scared
But today is different. I will not care
I will not care if this door will hurt me if I open it
Instead I will open this door so my friend will not fit
I’ll give him a taste of his own
And scare him to the bone
I’ve chosen to to be rich but poor
So I can learn to Love more
And my friend, fear will be no more
And as I open this door I am greeted
I am greeted with hope, Love, and forgiveness If only I hadn’t second guessed to begin with.

Don’t speak
Don’t let them see what you can really be
Don’t let them hear you
It’s okay to be a ghost
Maybe then they’ll start to fear you
Only allow those who are close
To actually get to know you
Trust has been over rated
Those who have it have no clue
And those who don’t start to hate it
And those you had trust in
Start to take advantage of the bliss
And start to break you within
Until they finally realize you’ve had enough of it
They’ll never stop pretending to be your friend
So it’s nice to lock the doors for a bit
To see who’s really breaking in
And who you just let stay
And take advantage of the space
kick them out and
Then look around
This Is your house
And you’ve been letting everyone tear it down
You can’t blame anyone but yourself
Because no one was ever breaking in
They just bribed you so they could stay
Saying they’d be your friend
Yet you were so self less you forgot
None of these people even care for you
They never even payed rent
And you think they are worth trust from you?
You’re not making sense
Tear these walls down
They need new paint
I can feel that you’re scared
I can see it on your face
It’s a little late
To go on and hide in this place
But It’s not you
You’re way much more beautiful than this
Get a glimpse
You can’t keep putting up with this
Darling take a look around you’re living in half a house
Figure it out
You have to start loving yourself now
This house was your heart and it’s falling down
Look at me in both my eyes
Tell me any of those fools were worth the lies
Do you recognize that?
The feeling of loss
It’s haunts you doesn’t it?
Sorry to say it, but darling that was all your fault
Learn how to love your self, and stop being selfless
In the end when you’re six feet under
It’s only going to be you down there
No one is going to hold your hand
The only person you know will care
And take you up by the hand
Is God