how do you explain:
i'm the one who's broken my own heart.
years of allowing negativity into my cracks,
tolerating it's bloom.
only now trying to rip out their roots.
but they have grown like weeds.
manifested in my chest, tangled throughout my ribs.
constricting.
trying to make them love me, to make them see.
now~
trying to fall back in love with myself,
is really not that easy.
it actually hurts more than loving any one else.
because you know, more than anyone, what you're capable of.
good and bad.
but please, in my upmost hour of desperation,
im begging myself
to take myself back.
she misses you.
she needs you now more than ever.

“You were blonde when we met” You said
Lips pulled into Your sinister smile.
“I wanted you so bad.”
Exactly 730 days since our lips met.
But who’s counting?
730 days of trying to leave
But You pulling me back.
Each time hoping for something different,
But ending always the same.
Me, alone.
You with her or her or her,
Or even next to me.
But still: You leaving me alone.
(Until You get lonely).

I asked you if you loved me.
In short, you said no.
You said: "I love the time I spend with you, I love you as a person
But this world has broken me so much. I keep everyone at arms length.
You don't want to be close to me."
I said okay, and you kissed me.
Finally filling in the last piece of your puzzle,
My feelings for you are complete.
No more questions, no more lies, no more hiding.
I can finally let you go.
I am free.