Mariah: Poems

Mariah Jun 2014

i can't remember
what shade of ale
your eyes were
before they went sour
and i don't think i've ever
seen you with a smile
that wasn't made of
shards of bone
just like all the ones you've
snapped and splintered
stuck in a rampage of
blind blurry rage
but your body isn't
all that you've broken
and you've never seemed to care
who shattered along with you
you've mistaken my heart
full of forgiveness
as something that would
always be there
just like i've mistaken you
i've spent years trying
to sift through the fragments
of our relationship
just to end up where i began
with an empty amber bottle
held by broken ****** hands

the man who helped create me doesn't care enough to stay.

#poetry #life #sadness #alcohol #father #relationships #empty #dad #daughter #emptiness #an #with #alcoholism #alcoholic

the demons who hide in the dusty corners of my mind;

Mariah Jun 2014

the demons who hide in the dusty corners of my mind;

i wish there was a way for me to
just push these thoughts from my mind
but they wrap themselves around my veins
and turn my whole body blue
i swim through this darkness alone
even though i know i don't have to
but i'm afraid if you got to know the demons
crawling around in the corners of my mind
and the way they come just to drag me back into
the nothingness every now and then
they'd get to know you too

"what's wrong?" "nothing."

#depression #sadness #relationships #demons #thinking #nothing #numb #over #numbness

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Mariah May 2014

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i cannot seem to forget
that sentence.
it burned into my brain like a
cigarette,
left a wound inside me that does not seem to heal.
eyes opened as the
blistering
syllables seeped out through broken sobs
reducing me to nothing but ash.
when she spoke those
seething words,
it must have been like
acid
scaling up the sides of her throat and diving off the tip of her tongue.
it must have
seared
her skin,
scarred
the sanctity of her sanity.
tears swelled in her eyes,
spilled over,
filled mine.
i held her as she sobbed the way a newborn would;
the realization hit,
festered, and boiled
inside me.
her other half is gone.
there's no retrieving the
fragments
of his soul,
no joining his with hers.
no amount of love can fix her.
no amount of love can make her whole.
no matter what i do,
i cannot fill the
void
she's condemned to live with.

"my mom's twin brother passed away."

#poetry #sadness #death #and #hard #sister #times #siblings #brother #twins #twin

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Mariah May 2014

Untitled

i cannot seem to forget
that sentence.
it burned into my brain like a
cigarette,
left a wound inside me that does not seem to heal.
eyes opened as the
blistering
syllables seeped out through broken sobs
reducing me to nothing but ash.
when she spoke those
seething words,
it must have been like
acid
scaling up the sides of her throat and diving off the tip of her tongue.
it must have
seared
her skin,
scarred
the sanctity of her sanity.
tears swelled in her eyes,
spilled over,
filled mine.
i held her as she sobbed the way a newborn would;
the realization hit,
festered, and boiled
inside me.
her other half is gone.
there's no retrieving the
fragments
of his soul,
no joining his with hers.
no amount of love can fix her.
no amount of love can make her whole.
no matter what i do,
i cannot fill the
void
she's condemned to live with.

"my mom's twin brother passed away."

#death

— The End —