A cheap shot
Kicked where it hurts
Is exactly what this feels like
Stabbed in the back
And in the front
Images that make me see red
To forget and forgive
I'm so angry
But I can't let it out
Don't want to hurt those who I care
About
I don't know who I blame
Maybe myself
I'll put these feelings away on the shelf
In some drawer
Lose them
And try to be selfless

My debt has been paid
Unspeakable crimes, I'm guilty
Still he died for me

Worn coral paths of history
Wind gently neath the evening shadows
In this warm land of mystery
And restless site of ancient battles.

Deep turquoise blue of daylight fades
To twilight's sea of scarlet gold
Walk I, alone, by windy glades
As evening's symphony enfolds.

The palm trees sway in tropic breeze
As golden Luna starts her rise
If you were here, this heart you'd please
I search for you in endless skies.

But you're not here, my search in vain
As Luna shines her brilliant glow
This gold moonlight can't rid the pain
Of love that fled so long ago.

So stars, keep burning all night long
My bruised heart's song is silenced mute
The heavens cannot right this wrong
Nor offer calming substitute.

The shining stars, I'll gladly miss
To your warm kiss, they cannot measure
The bright heavens offer no bliss
Your sweet caress, a greater treasure.

Special, the way they look at you.
Special, the way they walk too.
Special, the way they smile.
And to see them you would walk a million miles
Away.

I lay down in my bed
It's been a long day
I pull my knee's inward
and let out a sigh

I stare at the ring on my finger
the one you gave to me
I hold it and twist it in my fingers
until i have examined every color, every butterfly.

I close my eyes and clench my necklace
I trace the shape of the turtle with my figertips
I feel the silver in my hands
and remember when it was in yours

When I close my eyes a tear runs down my cheek
A tear of joy and sadness
Your sweet memory dances in my mind
Your love pierces through my heart

I miss you, I love you
exhaustion overwhelms me
I am ready to dream of you
Until I finally get to see you

Sweet dreams my love.

I closed my eyes
And I dream of you
Holding you
Feeling you
Molding you
Into something all our own
I closed my eyes
And I wonder
What it is that makes you
Want me
Need me
In the middle of the night
As we become one with each other
I closed my eyes
And I realized
That it is for you that I breathe
That is for you that I wake up in the morning
That is for you that I live for
So as I close my eyes tonight
I want you to know
That you are in my heart
As I close my eyes.

first woke up 8:23
went back to bed
                              (oh so hungover)
woke again 9:30, rubbed my eyes then
drank 2 ½ glasses water/puked. felt slightly better
but not perfect so
sat down on the couch in the dark
                                                            ­blinds closed
and read a book
                            (desolation angels - kerouac)
until my headache [sorta] cleared.
drank ¾ cup orange juice to take w/medication, antibiotics
(just got my wisdom teeth pulled)
and one tab oxycodone.
stopped reading (couldn't say why ... )
then sat lotus on the table by the window
writing/picked up jon's banjo n thought up
a neat (simple) roll, played classical guitar too
                                                             ­                     ---watching girls.
did that til i got bored, or the girls stopped
walkin' by (1 of the 2)
so i washed dishes for the fellas
grabbed a longboard from by the door
rode over to the LCBO for some beers,
passed the ShortStop on the way back and got an Arizona
to have w/my Romeo y Giulietta on the tour home.

when i got back jon was up
(wearing a blanket)
making scrambled eggs --- heavy on the onions,
using all the dishes i just washed..

Don't sleep with her-
Love her.
Don't smile at her-
Hug her.

If you're there then let yourself be known,
She'll only understand if she is shown.

Don't just look, touch.
And don't, don't ever, think too much.