Hey , THE TIGER OF DESIRES ARE ALWAYS ON HUNT ON THE
         FIELD OF MY SOUL

I AM CRAWLING TOWARDS THE        
              POINT ZERO
   OH WAIT , PLEASE STOP

THE CLOUDS ARE COVERING              
                 THE SKY
ALL IS BLACK NOW , NO ONE      
          REMAINS THIRSTY
GOD PLOUGH THE FIELDS
             NO ONE ELSE ,
  THE SEEDS OF LIFE BECAUSE    
THE LAND IS LIFELESS & WHO    
           BRINGS THE LIFE IN

THE FRUITS ARE NOT BITTER  
              NOR SWEET
IT ALL DEPENDS WHETHER YOU ARE ON SURVIVAL MODE OR ON HUNT FOR THE GREENS  
                       OF LIFE

I might dare to paint love one day.
Or draw it. I haven't played around with paint much.
But when I imagine it put to paper its painted so perhaps that's the better medium?
Something about the brush strokes perhaps? Those little tiny lines but all having their own existence.
Their own job in being part of the final picture.
love is usually shrouded in reds and pinks and whites.
But that's not what I see.

When I close my eyes and try to imagine those feelings taking shape
Putting on clothes to present itself to the world

I see dark blue hues and sort of a glitter all over a black background
and the glitter isnt regular glitter but the glitter of the stars late at night out in the country when they blanket the sky.
And theres purplish colors ranging from the deepest purple to tiny streaks of the lightest pinks, and greys and whites and golds and earthy greens.

Every color that's rich and deep.

and theres this constant, ethereal movement. Like a dream.

Slow like the clouds floating lazily across the sky on an easy day. And theres a small white gradient around the edges to sort of make it glow...

I'm beginning to think love looks like a far away planet?

Ominous and beautiful
And it's corny, but I feel like we're our own little world.

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

May Her strength be always within me.
Ambiance of Motherly Love is what I need.
Yellow is Her — my joy and my greed.

Why did I try to stop this thing
I always knew was coming?
Why did I waste the energy
on a war I knew I wouldn't win?

Was it pride?
Was it ego?
Was it self-denial?

Nothing matters now.
The monster is here for me
and I have no choice to follow.

It can be no other way.

Pleasure follows pain;
it’s a cycle you see.
Nothing is in vain;
it’s a cycle for free.

Pleasure heightens senses;
Pain refines the soul.
No man in his senses;
refuses to be whole.

Pain empowers and strengthens,
while pleasure; numbs the soul.

I see it from my very soul
I see a love that has been there for years
your love for me has proven to be my greatest possession
a gift surpassing all things imagined

Brian Hill - 2020 # 128
For Leslie, my greatest inspiration and love 💕