I feel that I'm not only use to the pain

But I am addicted to it as well, obsessed

Because I don't know a different way
I don't know how to live without it 

How lost I would be if the pain just went away

And the world around me disappears as I stare into its face

The face of Death as it lingers 

Hovering in front of my war-torn life

It sits and it waits for the time to come

To take me into the dark

Oh, how inviting.
Oh, how peaceful it will be

To one day be kissed by the lips of Death 

And float off into eternity

Please just save me 

Just save me from myself 

Because I'm falling hard 

The pieces are too far apart

I can't pick them up quickly enough

Until I crash again

What if I’m losing the one thing that keeps me grounded in reality?
I have a gut feeling that it’s going away
And I have no way of holding on
If it goes away then I will slip
Into the worlds in my mind
Once I am present in them I remove myself from reality
The one thing that brings me back every time
Will no longer be here to anchor me to life
I will fade off this earth by existing only in my mind
When I am in this state, bad things happen
Nothing will be there to wake me up
Nothing will be there to stop my hand
When my brain runs out my sanity
I will need it to all end
And nothing will stop the numbness
Because I will lose the one thing
That kept me out of my head
And in reality
It won’t be there
Gone
Left
And I
Forgotten

Off we go to the torture of our souls

We twist and turn at the thought of what awaits

The dumping of all this knowledge into our bowls

And the life you lived is now bundled into dates


The darkened nights of despair as you rack your brain for a reason

A reason for why you try so hard

You will not find out until the end of the your season

That all this pain is a good way of being scarred


You must navigate your way through this place

Find the people you love and hold tight 

Find a passion that you will chase

Only then will you be lead out of this misery, into the light

It’s an overwhelming sense of panic
To reveal the fact that the only person
Whom you thought understood you
Whom you had any trust in
Might leave you
And all you do is ponder and test the thought of them not being around
You gradually drive yourself into being psychotic
Because when you only have one of these type of people
And they leave
There is now nothing attaching you to reality
Nothing tangible to awake you from The Nightmare

I must be lost inside myself

I cannot escape this unreal reality

I am stuck in a world that does not exist

In a world that will never exist

But I don't think I can find the pathway out

And even if I did I'm not sure I'd follow the light

As I drift in the middle of this body of water

This vast abyss reminds me of our time on the earth


The waves unpredictable 

Yet you can see them coming


The sun cool at first

But then grows hotter

These people that either give you hell or give you help


This storm of bad fortune

Makes the waves grow taller and the people grow smaller


As they go away to their shelters to leave you at sea

Because when this place is at it's worse

That's when you are left alone 


That's when you must fight the wind and the waves all by yourself 

To get back to where you belong

And the world around me disappears as I stare into its face

The face of Death as it lingers 

Hovering in front of my war-torn life

It sits and it waits for the time to come

To take me into the dark

Oh, how inviting.
Oh, how peaceful it will be

To one day be kissed by the lips of Death 

And float off into eternity