I'm raining,
Draining with flotsam,
Washing onward
To the gutter.

I'm decomposing,
Recomposting
On the truck
To the dump.

I'm recyclable,
Reuseable.
Re-fashion me
For a different life.

Ever hold a razor blade
That you couldn't use;
Find a six foot piece of rope
That couldn't be abused?
Ever buy a vial of pills
That couldn't do the ****?
Ever enter office buildings
Looking for a ledge;
Or walk across a span of water
Without stopping on the bridge?
Ever wade into a pond
Breathing like the fishes?
Anyway you think on
It,
You've delusional
Death wishes.

If when we die we go to heaven
what would this paradise look like
blue skies
fields of green
clear rivers
happy faces
tables of food
lakes of our favorite drinks
a big guy in a golden chair

If when we die we meet God
staring into his eyes what would you see
the big bang
evolution
E=MC2
Answers
everything

If when we die we go to Heaven
if when we die we meet God
what will we see
what will he think
how will we feel
If when we die

Trapped inside of geometric shaped walls
With clouds on the ceiling, the paper crawls
Blue skies for square feet
Polka dot bed sheets
Somehow I can't sleep

Fair-prize stuffed animals strewn around
On the shelves, cabinets, and on the ground
Cuddled in blankets with frozen feet
I attempt to find my escape to sleep

But so much is riddled in my mind
That I can't think in a straight line
You're leaving, going, going, gone
What is right when it's all wrong?
You're not here and now I'm not strong
I should have known this all along

You're so much more than I ever told
Now that we have both grown old
We were fists and fights
Wrongs and Rights
Nights and Lights

But we changed and grew to not spat
We are hip to hip instead of *** for tat
So now it's hard to sleep
Counting minutes
Counting sheep
When you're not here, but in Kentucky

Evil in my head twisting around
Did I drown
    Or did I wet my feet in ******
Blood pouring
  Down the stairway to Heaven
         And into the mouth of an entity
A thirst so unquenchable
     Its no wonder I tend to breathe the other direction
     Because a hint of moisture on my breath would be a warrant for my death
             Dying of thirst
Its not new but the truth doesnt fade
    It keeps on flowing until you cover up its fangs

Your holy
Name
dances about
red, blue, pink
swirling saris
with You
my arms are
never empty
the moon is full
of silver
and the sun
pours its gold
over us
in the jhoola of
my heart
there is a permanent place
where I swing from dawn to
radiant dusk with my
Dearest Giridhari

When my mind wanders
down lanes devoid
of love
and rabid thoughts pounce
threatening
to devour my heart
I sing Your sweet,
nectarine Name
Hari
Your name is the
lifebuoy
we can cling
to
in
the
raging
whirlpool
downward
pull
of
samsara