Hark….the herald angels sing, and twitter
for mass communication mediums stop the presses
when I, a regular schlemiel
take shampoo to mine matted mass mop
of straggly follicles, and commence
to dispense with the heady eco system
viz rare crop of flora and fauna

(some rank as endangered species) rub and band together
to scratch envy of neigh bring ponytails
and create quite an niche, and where also can be found
lousy knit wit vendors ready to scalp
and give shaft to razor sharp purveyors,
who mane lee scout out available head room to nap
without a stir, tub bed down

(praying Holy Scott no wash out nor Harris mint occurs),
or burrow vis a vis, where subcutaneous porous droplet size
water ship down pieces of prime residence found
counting one mister comb lee bald faced realtor
amidst competing rival bulb buss scissor hands
(with knot to heavy a price toupee)

affianced to rapunzel, whom he sheared split ends
as her barber of civil, one dapper dan d ruff dude to offer
lice cent shuss insects a tonsured cut above other stylish habitués
(preferring to fraternize, glad-hand, and hobnob
amidst a cluster of big wigs housed by yours truly - Samson

in gleaming puffy pompadour pads tightly secured
with the best dread locks, which harum-scarum
green barrettes serve as first line of rinse able defense
IdentityGuard (with franchisee
Bob O Link averse to split hairs, but fierce
as a Mohawk and ring leader to protect any curl of mine)
waving away intruders, who if insist tubby persistent
and tangle with fate cannot expect camaraderie
from buzz cutting crew i.e. the fuzz

to give expletive filled lathering,
severe shame poo wing subjugation
plus an up braiding experience), and teach stragglers
they will suffer a real perm in hint bang up job
if they brazenly brush against brylcream of the crop
rooted as rightful heirs (hairs) of tousled doo mane.

Prior to the morning
of August 15th, 2019
this joker riddled and
judiciously punched with anxiety
approximately couple weeks earlier
prophetic notification

courtesy public assistance office
Norristown, Pennsylvania
wrought psyche asunder
worse news than plagued
with most pernicious disease
slack jawed rendered me

speechless, and breathless
jobless since...forever
debilitating social anxiety,
plus disabling panic attacks,
an unprovable conjecture
neurological behavioral malady

possibly evident in utero,
if fetal ultrasounds widespread
or hollow needle inserted
into the ******
sampling amniotic fluid
luck of the draw

ex post facto
accentuated, kickstarted,
under_scored...
extreme tightly coiled tension
evident when ambulatory
evinced frequent rigidity

regarding physical movement
whereby boyhood self
tumbled down stairs
(this based on
anecdotal information),
yet earliest physiological

recollections bring to mind
never feeling relaxed poise
most always stiff movements
affected ****** actions
only as young adult
after experiencing

prolonged social withdrawal
friendlessness, emotional
detachment among family of origin
crippling bouts of
vertigo, racing heart
profuse perspiration

nausea... ad nauseum
eligibility qualified me
to receive social security disability
a congenital trait, I loathe
now more than ever
yes, blessedly grateful

to receive Medicare,
which status evaluated every year
mainly predicated on
increased finances, a
greater chance,
I get struck by lightning
versus garnering monetary windfall.

ah, tis in regard to praise worthy of zee
sylph van halen wondrous sigh door house
   where boot LIX ******* ruled thee,
this missive (fertilized ova byproduct),
   sans newly wedded whoopie
between n betwixt carnal existence
   involving stiff joint courtesy of randy
(loch ness hike hood only imagine)

   engendered pleasurable scree
ming, when enfilade eruption occurred
   sans papa's engorged tree
into verdant valley shaped like miniature "v"
when bare naked lady n beastie boy - with re:
tractable shaped magic flute
   mountebank upon late
   (then young) mum when she

acquiesced bing dominated
   during **** version with glee
  club (prickly ***** per papa)
   unplanned romp or x game of thrones
  whereby rampant animal urge beckoned to free
flagellates searching mini verdant zyder zee

which warm fuzzy i.e. cop u lay shun
   nine months later with meself as baby
baked to imp perfection second to none
   this futre puff daddy slated
   tubby conceived via *** pistol gun
in tandem with mull ate mum,
   who cavorted in naked fun
   begat word **** as second brood ding bun
in the oven o me late mum...
   gone against desire tool heave anon!
------------------------------------
(long prose and poetry my atypical mode at introducing myself).

How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time.  

Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune.

Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual! The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.

I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic.

Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories.

Back in those days I (a grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism, and their only not so prodigal heir hiss son) poorly wore mantle and staff of supposed maturity.

Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence.

The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier), would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue.

Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school.

The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip.

Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment.

Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother.

A façade as hardened (statue) conveniently adopted.

This embodiment poorly served to fend off onslaught of incessant anger.

This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered  minuscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums.

No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incrimination's, intimidation's, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood my ground at played the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation.

They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance! This reaction added insult to injury.

Deliverance (minus dueling banjos) per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work.

Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger.

That (of course) would be a considerable understatement!

Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations, (which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight) - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of **** vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance.

Defiance and fatigue offered him predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!  

With dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this over active imagination of mine with dad and mom egregiously fiendishly, grotesquely expunged themselves of any last vestige personal emotional belonging), I anxiously bided my time.

Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism.

The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash being liberal thinker.

As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite.

That deadline (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing fulminations, salacious ultimatums valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove) continued to keep pull to remain an occupant with kinfolk.

What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling **** - particularly within emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father.

My maternal grandfather (Morris Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a swift tailor. Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty.

Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name.
---------------------------------------
...from this middle and sole son harris progeny
who willingly shared hoop - ping equal play zure
   arose from wading thru verbiage of letters abc...
...xyz
in various combinations he
arranges/arranged foe his passion to be
somewhat liter aery.


your prerogative, to message or email
(hay4four@aol.com) typed
   back what ever impulse            
juiced where ever spools create poetic strand
asper fingers comprising specific black keys land
to react inspires with nuttin grand
viz **** sapiens
   pearl jam chrome once canned
gene net tick trader joe brand.

postscript: a dream to wit ness
mine current high school senior
   a name y'all never guess
to make the entrance grade for university of penn
   after the truckload of application material
   someone or many doze *****!

http://about.me/matthewscott.harris

would what that be junior? senior? sophomore?

since this brother in law rarely emails,
     ye may scrunch countenance puzzled,
     or on verge of emitting flatulence,
     that if a ripper got let loose (by Jack),

     would possibly find ja propelled,
     thru Edgar Allan Poe's churchly
     sepulchral tintinnabulation
     (where for greater effect

     yukon envision imagistic ravenous bats
     in belfry resonating air,
or perhaps blasted back
     to the House of the rising sun),

     BUT...gnome hatter,
     no win tent may starkly appear
explaining inexplicable reasonable rhyme,
     why aye dash communique

    minus virtual trumpeting blare
(sorry, but in the interest
     of belated birthday cheer,
without computer generated imagery)

     rendered hoop fully readable,
     sans black and white Scottish matted pixels
constituting beloved appellation
     unsure how to address ye perfectly clear

while sitting atop padded office chair,
pondering as already writ,
     how to acknowledge thee, whither with dear...
meanwhile, this scribe experiences

     comfortably numb derriere,
now scrambling, resorting, and toying
     to fetch acceptable, catchy light hearted endear
mint, that seems tolerably acceptable

     (of course) with flair
acutely perceptive, though NOT overboard with glare
ring obeisance, NOR USE ALL CAPS
     TO SCREAM so ye kin hear  

soap hull ease excuse this incurable
     Harris scribe with thinning heir
yes...oye gevalt, infantile regression finds me
     burrowed in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania lair

still emotionally inchoate, though grown a mere
speck within the flotsam and jetsam near
to boyhood Collegeville abode NOT saved by a prayer
re: home companion bachelor Norwegian farmer

replaced instead by vinyl city
     all in the name of progress
which (once a pawn a time)
     open farmland did dis app pear

so...a gam bulling gambit
     to avoid moseying down Level Road...
may NOT seem queer
for insufferable sadness

     with eyes bursting with many a tear...
(gulp) tis best to veer
away from topic uh viz er rated razed homestead,
     and mainly wish ye another birth year!

adieu...from math tha hue

Yours truly snapped, popped,
and cracked his crown out ******
(I'll spare ye the ****** graphics),
whence obstetrician able, eager, and
ready underscored with italics

to pass (think football) garden variety
wrinkled newborn asthma
noggin heralded lix
plus deux orbits ago
sported an ordinary

uneventful, nonetheless miraculous
biological secrete reproductive tricks
immediately screaming
without assistance courtesy
Gran Prix (now pronounce as ******)

also envision Dolby surround sound
nsync with spastic kicks
'o mine straggly mostly
gangly lovely bones mox nix.

Within some nondescript
Cincinnati, Ohio hospital heed gypped
(i.e. none other than me)
thy young mother of prolonged labor
as his bony *** easily
slipped out uterine crypt

whereby with Vernix
caseosa, the waxy or cheese
he appeared made rather dipped
in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped
minuscule fist ready to bump.

Once placenta and fetal membranes
(unnecessary as wing ding)
discharged out ******
after birth of offspring,
and thar weren't no more
major contractions in the offing
ma mommy lovingly did cling
to her bundle of joy and bring

maternal breast I ravenously
did suckle fortunately toothless
against her tender ***** trickling
(if mammary serves me correctly)
I presently recall no iota of inkling
what events transpired, nope
no recollection about me circumcising.

Moost likely I felt Jew bull lent
glad yours truly chose decent
mother and father, which opinion
subjected to radical change,
when as grown adult child
living nonsocial under

their roof forced to hire agent
provocateur to practice sparring,
when standoff event on horizon,
which eventually begat ultimatums
their red hot poker rage spent
belittling, cursing, damning...

quiet as Unitarian Church mouse content
internalizing later smoldering
anger I needed to vent
in retrospect diminutive little boy
tied to mama's apron strings
afflicted with mental

health issues inherent
of course hindsight gleaned
social, psychological, neurological...
healthy development got rent
asunder partly explaining
why I became indigent.

Unlike this papa akin
     to being racked, raided,
     and raked with hot coals
during his adolescence devoid of
     a social network and academic goals
if possible to magnify
     psyche, one would see
     mostly a torn shred of holes

thy youngest (of deux) daughters
     did not agitate
as much as myself, asper being
     emotionally isolated, a miserable fate
she participated with
     supportive services how grate
full (this once psychologically dead papa),
     progeny did not experience

     chronic severe hate
Shana (Punim) blessed by fate
while a Lower Merion
     High School student did great
fully experience positive
     munificent interpersonal bounty,
     she didst illustrate
with smiles all around her countenance,

which sophomore socialization better late
than never, which friendlessness
(that didst plague this papa),
     thee progeny didst obviate
thus, this poem
     (to no one in particular),
     expresses how I appreciate
the plethora of supportive

     services, to ameliorate
bugaboo sans inferiority complex,
     (ran rampant within self)
     where mine imaginary
     pals did commiserate
nonetheless, aye envy thine
     begotten Harris heiress,
whose self esteem positively bolstered

     ensure ring a confidential boost,
     and now doth demonstrate
how remedial, and extracurricular activities
     during and after class respectively,
combatted cognitive delay,
     warding off bullies,
     who did grate, humiliate
and interrogate, this middle aged

     (he's a good) fellow,
     Johnny come late
lee to the "NON FAKE" game of life
     changing strengthened soul asylum

     primary, secondary, and tertiary grades
     where whip sawed, pejoratively emasculated  
     hoary golem, unstintingly bruiting, brow beating
and bamboozling gremlins
     wrought zealous destruction!

Despite twittering, uber
sputtering kickstarting
onset of cool weather
argh, another brief daily spate
re: forecasting blistering,
nauseating, sweltering...
ninety degree plus Fahrenheit

temperature forecast
(along eastern seaboard)
courtesy mister summer,
who will overstay his welcome
hoop fully a more seasonable
cooling trend rounds out ninth month
(according to Gregorian calendar)

I eagerly look forward
to crisp refreshing air
much more comfortable
to weather being outdoors
within/out this sequestered enclave
postage stamp size geographical area
offers respite versus metropolitan

denser population centers,
the former disappearing open space
rather disheartening, but urbanization -
purportedly the definition of progress
finds once open farmland
less than fifty years back
crumbling barns now tombstones

testimony when people
farmed the land, and lived
linkedin with rhythms of nature,
which only found courtesy said vestiges
inevitably razed (similar to boyhood home
324 Level Road) finds yours truly
brooding fast paced instant

credit karma gratification
twenty first century, which
small, medium forces at large
outfox the time tested imprimatur
i.e. latent powers planet Earth
unleashes (thank you global warming)
decrees final curtain call

**** sapiens runs rampant
wreaking havoc all points of compass
already inundated with scorching,
melting ice caps, flooding...
future generations, yet unborn
might avoid predicated on
dramatic alternatives fossil fuels

already showered Gaia
with carbon dioxide
as well other noxious poisons
though vibrant advocacy
evident among students
vocally demonstrating against
irrevocable damage, whereby environment

and countries situated
near sea level take heavy hit,
nonetheless... cautious optimism flickers
inducing mandatory one hundred eighty degree
reorientation regarding eco friendly

methodologies to lo mein, maintain,
sustain... technological civilization,
else quaint existence of thee
will be read about
in digitized history books.

with natural binaural and visual ambience...
courtesy bumblebee pollinating clover

Diaphanous wings yield live airplay
vibrations undulate thru ethereal airway
rippling glorious edifications allay
gorgeous fauna and floral array
ears and eyes beheld
awesome buzzfeeding display
flight of the bumblebee laden with pollen
analogous to elegant performance
starring Faye Dunaway.

Crossword puzzle momentarily
distracted by amazing fete
observing crucial insect necessary
transferring pollen to pistils of flowers
with each subsequent visit
impossible mission to differentiate
one amongst countless
gently rumbling Bombus.

June 14th, 2020 thoughts
of doomsday far and away
pitch perfect afternoon yippie yie yay
I could squander hours
observing miracle worker relay
unwittingly alighting then planting pollen,
i.e. the male gametophyte
(DNA) of seed plants
transported to female part of flower
to enable plant to reproduce.

Quintessential lesson relearned
live life foreplay
until... hair turns
more'n fifty shades of gray
pronouncedly more noticeable since salons
and barbershops under lockdown
onset of coronavirus
(COVID-19) spells hooray
satisfying grim reaper

until vaccine acquired
meanwhile (back at the ranch)
think laboratory smart people linkedin,
qua advocating preventive measures,
a fancy word for test
iz pseudo synonym immunoassay
whispered to yours truly courtesy
twittering and tweeting blue jay.

How uncomplicated existence
allotted to birds and bees
simple straight forward purpose
additionally as by-product
to cultivate cheese

just cut away any moldy part
lest thee exhibit symptoms
synonymous contracting poison
(less painful than scorpion sting),
nevertheless nsync with illness
expanding thru body

on par with generic
garden variety archetype disease
ah, I sure wish being human
constituted less cumbersome complication
instead comprised
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ease
as iterated with aforementioned

half dozen simple life forms
some of which can survive extreme temperatures
and/or even suffering thru a deep freeze
now upon reaching the end,
I expect nothing more emphatic
than ye to ******* Geez!

(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

Test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently ******* awkwardly coordinated,
consummated, completed extempore
hence bun in the oven bon jure

yielded unicellular spore
while in utero ~ early/mid
February I ain't exactly sure
nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor
Harriet Harris, fourth, last born
fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore

by stork, became favorite progeny begat
courtesy Morris, and then swore
celibacy forever more
Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore
harbored inchoate genetic fore
boded, encoded, inscribed
deadly mutations housed,

fetched, dispatched and bore
flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched
affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality
orbitz equaling about three and a half score
unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly,
her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush
sounded death knell
Harriet approximately clocked fifty plus
underwent grueling radiation
plus chemotherapy
carcinoma eradicated allowed,
enabled, provided breathing spell

reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...
newfound zealous zest almost
nothing could quell
significance pray tell
new lease on life to sell
lib berate cherish, relish, whish

each precious moment
thwarting pell mell
adversity with bon vivant elan
and gusto to issue rebel yell
kickstarting, making breast
livingsocial aye bell,

especially after despite... er... well
her double mastectomy,
she looked fabulously swell
courtesy silicon implants
slight downside reconstituted
racked ***** *****
susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale
diagnosis, viz ovarian,
despite requisite hysterectomy
emotionally did impale,
she instinctually, intuitively,
invariably, yet quiver and quail

against impending demise 24/7 did assail
guardian angel(s) of no avail,
nor did yours truly proffer nurturance
resentment smoldering within this male
red hot poker anger lambasting me
peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,

never got resolved ensuing estrangement
deterred reaching out to embrace,
hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,
miserably tethered with tubes
when she did severely pine ail

and grievously bewail
corporeal essence ashen pale
awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood
formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother
to Elysian fielded dale.

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz fifteen years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
this sole son born,
thus shouldered with self scorn.

He clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed

wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,

which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately fifty years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,

not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged corpse
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection

regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating

emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered

linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy Mole (he) molecule

within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with both sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey.

and the younger staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe soon
heading back to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me
to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away zee bras
like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,
ah...don't remind me,
those well worn faux paws

of each dear deer (hooping Rudolf would
set precedent as every other reindeer hoof
dost not get cleft out in the cold) withdraws
not to budge like...a Mexican stonewall
contractual obligations grudgingly negotiated,
(especially citing animal abuse as insanity clause),

while angrily clattering rooftop
to rooftop, without pause,
what, and me forcing those strenuous hee haws
(hint to potential dada's, that ledger domain
promising humongous gifts gets old fast,
generating nuttin boot lockjaws

(other Kris Kringles would agree),
where haggard overworked (underpaid)
frequently threatening unionized joining
posse to become outlaws
migrant elves lose stamina to applause,
the jolly ** ** ** role of Santa Claus,

and to a lesser extent return (like new -
with store tag) Easter Bunny suit, defacto
birthday party planner, et cetera,
oh...almost forgot tooth fairy -
ouch! that took a ****** bite out of finances,
hence needed heavy duty gauze,

yet now this papa merely draws
lipservice joy to the world Bobe myseh,
aye yie yie despite punishing, nee
turning into filet mignon, those who poo poo
those culturally grafted pagan grand Poobahs
face lash, and quickly get

smote with invisible taws
particularly any
antiestablishmentarianism
leftist southpaws,
no matter poetically wry ming spewed cents

ability uttered from courtesy
minority reporting maws,
(case in point dexterously yours truly)
laments glaring flaws,
not only of those unaccountable booking costs
driving Earthly unaffordable

materialistic capitalistic jaws,
no matter (albeit
more quiet and somber),
I breathe sigh of
relief to escape naws
zee hating crass mass foofaraws,

and beat hasty retreat from pandemonium
(part and UPS parcel)
fueling manufacturing factories
producing widgets, trinkets, gewgaws,
et cetera subsequently giving employment
(reed nepotism) opportunities

to aunts, uncles in-laws
of management (a perk
found most objectionably
with he who doth trumpet
deed duck shins
to needy) re: yule stated

Taj Mahal family cause,
but to enrich the coffers
of salivating power hungry
(jibber jabber) money grubbers
brandishing chainsaws
to cut down farmed Christmas trees,

where dollar signs
spin each eyeball rubbed raws,
this minor manifesto
concludes as welcome retreat,
where stale Yuletide saws
reverberate warbled carolers
punctuating psalm songs with ews ah ahs!

Though the necks
sighting of Ichabod Crane
humungous horror
helplessly harassing,
hellish hyena howling,
hideously hounding,
headless Halloween
hair raising happening,

regarding haunting
horseman spectre,
not due to arrive
(in gremlin, golem, and
goblin crawling theaters
everywhere in outer limits
of twilight zone),
come October thirty first

two thousand, and nineteen
divination trap
pings can never
be implemented overly
soon - to satiate subhuman
scary sightings,
sans mine ineluctable
supernatural drive

biz ease, this (gopher broke,
phantasmagoric over seer
grown wunderkind,
passionately rousing spooks,
where this droning
necromancer named
Matthew Scott Harris),
asper undertaking

luckless ghostly endeavors
also oft times finds
meat hoo experiencing
aborted, cancelled and retried
aim mush carriage
(i.e. thwarted, ejected,
and clobbered miscarriage)
off base when out fielding

paranormal activities,
qua catcher catch can
pseudo boxing
exaggerated shadows
striking mine attenuated,
elongated, and invoked
Hades monstrous silhouettes,
viz jugular vein bleeding

(heart liberal)
burnt umber umbra
pitching one dimensional
brokered, bricked,
and bracketed
wall size grotesqueries
detailing bloodless battles
silently creaking within republic
of my imagination.

Breathes sigh of relief
(like toe tilly gnarly mon)
footing expenses good grief.

Onus encompassing marital
responsibilities with (Holy Scott)
Matt man locked dread
precariously rested squarely and unfairly
upon mine figurative lead

pencil necked geek hirsute head,
and bony shoulders, that said
lemme communicate with modesty
and frankly earnest Sesame Street cred

hoop fully words understandable
meant tubby easily interpreted and read
lookout for courtesy double entendres
signalling where ***** wed
did himself, yet careful to tread,

no faster than sixty nine as he sped
into forbidden, verboten two lipped arrid
hot zone bubbling volcanic oasis
plunging his swollen jughead
suffocating till gratefully dead.

Reroute threaded needle gaining nascent
ability to manage independent living,
whereby counterpart availed
her pheromone scent
spurring feeling heightened testosterone,
within instantaneous moment

thus took tactile apprenticeship
receiving mail order bride thru
correspondence course sent,
I also donned role of special ops agent
provocateur, a hardened gent
fluke how I became

process of elimination chosen incumbent
learned, familiarized, adept...
grudgingly accepted covenant
to pay affordable low income rent,
plus manage other monthly bills due, i.e.
water, telecommunications insurance

(automobile and renters), and electric -
companies (Aqua Pennsylvania, Verizon,
Nationwide and Peco
respectively) with efficient
aplomb mastered (dub bate double)
art of being accommodating tenant.

Domestic chargé d'affaires
became mine bailiwick
dint of the missus being
disinclined and less quick
budgeting, hence I inadvertently
accepted lickity split,
subsequent obligation did

smoothly clack and click,
which minimized conflict
whereby we shared equal intrinsic
reciprocity complicity, culpability
then at playtime, thee enigmatic
one whipped out adult toys
stashed in the attic.

Altercations impossible to avoid,
'specially when unemployed
(think Rob zombie humanoid)
additionally, I lacked emotionally unalloyed

communication cues, nearly destroyed
romance, cuz only recourse re: primal
non verbal, viz Braille
while disguised as android
amorousness I expressly enjoyed

satisfactorily papa bear
groaning courtesy steroid
launching petsmart aery mission
poised to strike no
matter mainly to void

i.e. unpacking heat prohibited,
one tony peppy trooper deployed,
but unexpectedly waylaid
understandably yours truly annoyed
unsheathed hot pistol manually toyed.

Admission, confession, decision firmly laid
down, I oft times insisted felt test ease made
purposeless seething hormonal secretion
triggered fountainhead sprayed

activated provocation upbraid
ding the then live in girlfriend
French kissing parlez vous
pledged troth plus
serving as milkmaid.

Doth offer the following lacking
nope *** whet tic feet to stand
also immediately discerned tubby not so grand
repurposed poem mebbe land
ding this leftist rightly shackled hand
nonetheless trumpeting my brand
of vapid verse never in demand.

Day and night me spouse
     for countless year
     i must endure
     the shrieking call for “Matt”
that mine nickname puncturing
     sensitive left and right ear
     akin to annoying
     mosquito or buzzing gnat
impossible to eradicate
     without fan nor fare
     to destroy the entire house
     madly waving a baseball bat
only for the pestilential pest
     to mock and jeer
     futile attempt to wrest control
     and rejoice at the splat
akin to a rorschach test
     closely resembling wife i fear!

cuz...well...this cerebral cortex lacks
ability to comprehend anything
   more complex than playing jacks
aware his severe cognitive ability hacks

away at such juvenile gibberish
   and most likely exacts
a prediction my intelligence
   on par with bracts

very much aware that
   without recourse to contrivances
   delineating the passage of time,
   wherever said out
   standing invisible essence
   which moments lapse just now ago

Now!
no just a moment ago Yaw
that, this or another instant
   did without so much as a wow
lapse, and lucky

   21st **** Sapiens to vow
and lay claim thee or thou
aware the amorphous ether
   one can ****** as a sow  

or any other animate or
   inanimate direct or indirect object re:
yule lie zing
   any analogy, metaphor, simile,
   et cetera a poor substitute to pre
sent every second, minute,

   hour...that doth nee
dull our attention akin
   to banshees, or comparison
   to something else
   totally tubularly off the wall lee
ving without a trace

   only prompt a feeble yet apropos je
ne sais quois, yet even then any primate a he
than (if individual couched in this free
to believe in any religion country, and cre
may shun versus burial predicated

   adherence to idea of a soul aie...aye
how write with frustration struggle to affix bye
and bye, some nebulous notion, that doth defy
tis a futile effort to codify, fortify,

identify abstract concepts, whose high
arc key eludes pinpointing a per jai
guru dev, place or thing (ha)
   even scrunching brow
   defeats and doth be lie
this one measly mortal well nigh

tuckered out on par with calculating pi
  
tangential to asking if and/or
   how i can access
   fullest potential...say to write
about with the aid of symbols

   i.e. letters to expound on an idea trite
or one that confounded mankind
   many millenniums or quite
sum indeterminate orbits 'round el sol,

   no ability within this mite
ova reproductive happenstance (yes me),
   whom ye could tell go fly a kite
for inducing confusion,

   but the nature of this har re: beast
   with a little insight
gripped, harangued, rankled,
   et cetera, thus communicates
   hello or goodnight,

which understandable
   simple words may not excite
as quotidian oft repeated philosophical
   mental challenges
   i didst expend effort to cite,

which mind exercises offers
   no exit, ouch that doth byte  
and if subjected to  a brain scan
   would blind technicians
   and set alight

frenzied uproar amidst **** Sapiens
   via intense thinking to induce blind
ness flailing at feeling trapped
   asper being teased at find
ding no beginning

   or end like a mobius strip
   analogous to space/ time continuum
   that little effort could
   blow a fuse in the mind.

adieu: from matthew scott harris
hook halls schwenksville, pennsylvania
hiz home tow win.

accursed creepily haunting
phantasmagoria wraiths
vandalize residents psyches
within their sleep induced state

sublimation shunts
slumbering souls
unknowingly held hostage
successfully sacrificing

semi-smothered silent species
snoring simians steadfastly succumb
subsequent sibilant sounds  
woo woebegone wicked transmogrification

dilapidated divested bodies deposited
wizard waves wand
watching whirling wretched lovely bones
whipsawing (in toto) within abyss
  
whooshing whistling wheezing
whets warlocks appetite wakening
brutish nasty nightmare
sinister hulking spirits

steal assorted corporeal essence
monstrous mashing somnambulant
mephistophelian shadowy satanic satyrs  
supremely swallow senior citizen bankers

deep within catacombs
of Highland Manor,
deadened defeated Delphic Oracle  
relegates human husks,

viz spent embodiments
to the under world lay siege
sinisterly seeding, via sinister spirits
one pure evil particularly wicked

witch thy capering
sickening ghastly plot against
unsuspecting spouse snatched
parch trey gnarled warty claws.

Temporary salient sunny solitary sight
does dole divine delight,
asper this dada to imbibe
delicious draught when uptight
fraught, viz sunkist radiant photons

packets of energy with
life giving hefty might
to warm formerly frost bitten cockles,
which secluded niche bracketed by slight
recess, where perpendicular brick walls

converge, forming mini refuge
beckoning tours ruly forthright,
this solitary scribe savored moment
of peace simply lollygagging excite,

hence lawn chair and reading material,
I did not schlep in vain,
cuz the others didst ordain
to succumb, resign,
and quit living sadness quite plain

(reed depressed churly
elderly lonely, utterly bane
residents), each whose private engineer
within their respective uber driver trundled
each individual along nostalgic train

on this pitch perfect in the main
spring day, they nebulously,
melancholically, and lethargically lain
abed flipping remote go'n channel
surfing and fishing, or

time age faded memories raised cane,
now offer bitter cold comfort,
where grievous frostbitten former halcyon salad
days of yore elapsed replaced with mundane
decades analogously pain

full as chilblain
exhibiting feeble gumption to live
dogged effort to die dost drain
ability (to bow out, i.e.
waiting for Godot)
each oldster fragile as porcelain

curmudgeon cast as deadened thespian
while days of their lives issue sad quatrain
rewind/replay within cobwebbed brain,
one despairing luxury of escape
afforded by venturing via imagination
to join deceased family,
where eternal happiness doth never wane.

A written account (that incorporates some
self directed hyperbole) of this veritable stranger
now appears before your screen. Soon
after reading this message, the neighbors

might discern a blood curdling series
of (hyena-like) shrieking screams.
No worry. That would be the mating call
of the hairy Harris mama bear.

Ready! Set! Click!

A scary reflection greets me whenever
I summon up enough steely courage to take
a sneak peek into the mirror. Before
spider lines start to appear across the
shiny surface and subsequent cracks

and fissures dissolve the glassy surface
these deux hazel colored, myopic be
spectacled eyes quickly absorb a most
frightful countenance and visage.

That near legendary and trademark feature
of longish, wavy and brown straggly hair
seems to fill the entire view. Hidden among
avant garde rhapsodic bohemian, Cro-Magnon,
Neolithic, non-every-man style of un-styled
non dread full locks (interspersed with silver follicles

indicative of acquired worry fighting off
garden variety prehistoric creature) can be discerned
a brutish, nasty and short proto-human with
high forehead, which allows, enables and provides
more skin surface to bang against wall when frustrated.

My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine.
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the

sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.

Now to that locale known as the trumpeting ****
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny *****
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt

and tease) such anatomical feature offers little
value as the worthiness of ****** prowess.
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.

Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck.
This tiny ***** accompanied by a vestigial and
teeny-weensy ****** schnitzel of a phallus, which
undersized **** a doodle do doth bulge into

an erectile state within shooting distance of
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world
property of each and every woman.
A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.