The dents you made in my perfectly made bed
The cracks you left in my China cup
The tears your left to fall down my face
The dreams you left to be watered

The scars I made along my arms

You left your marks and I left mine
But which ones will withstand time

Fine lines can create a deep divide
Fissures run along the ground of trust

You can contort my mind
You can destroy my feelings
You can bring me to the lowest
If you are that cold-hearted.

And in your world
things are full of
mediocrity and disgust
you lay in bed at night,
dissatisfied with yourself.

Contort my mind, you may
Destroy my feelings, go ahead
Bring me down if you see fit
But let's make one thing clear.

No one can mess with my pride
You will never borrow it
Because once you have it...
That's the moment I lose myself.

Submission,
             indoctrinated
I fall, hitting the floor,
         as
words,
       penetrate,
skull filled with misled,
       judged,
              barely touched
understanding
               and, found, I
look to the moon,
                 low in skies,
where there are stars fighting for space,
   and I stopped,
                 the game of finding and seeking room
in the iced blocked heart of your own ruin.

Tumble,
        fumble
you loved,
              me; you said; I love you
yet, you, only you,
denies the soul, heart, craved for, starved for, undenied
                love; waiting its turn,
wait wait wait,
tell me will,
it ever truly be over, as the duality across sobriety,
serenity in acceptance, courage,
                                will you change?
No choice to whom we love, a choice only,
                     in allowing, love to
filter,
        filter,
               dissipate through,
dumb, inane, insane, sorrow struck, distrust, unrest
sober drunk, gone, lost, amidst
untold secrets, forming in patterns allowing choices, unknown
alive with love,
               inside the agony grows,
groans and aches,
unable to release, free love, the one you, so
undeniably,
want.

© Sia Jane

there are approximately
7,241,792,162 people on earth
at this exact moment, and out of all 7,241,792,162 i met you, and you made life more than just worth living.
with you by my side i realized the sunshine after rain, and the animals and how they graze, without a care in the world. i realized the innocence of a child, and how ignorance is truly nothing but bliss. i realized that you don't always have to see the glass half empty, because if you let it--sometimes the glass will overflow.
so in the end i thank God that out of all 7,241,792,162 people i met you
because out of all 7,241,792,162, there's no one that could ever compare to you.

-s.p.

You tucked your sugar candy wrapping
with surreptitious dainty dips
and lots of little body wriggles
in between my couch cushions
I found them when I did a clean

amongst a weight of quiet
tight squeezed tears
pushed by love out of sight
shaped in dainty pears
appealing with question shaped
twists and marks from subtle turns

I wish your apple secrets
kept so **** sweet
unwrapped and served
peeled with berries on a plate
in neat dressed shiny mint
response coated lozenges
so I could press that sadness out
and dissolve that reposed tinge
of unsolved hidden hurt
between your sensitive tongue
and my own open heart

I'd throw your cares
that empty wrapper stash
into red liquorice skies
to chew through a dash
of  lamp lit tinctures
and catch its splash
in tutti frutti sprays
wet with an array
of well licked flavours
but please keep away
those sticky fingers

look at your paper trail of pink and white
let's follow and pick up each far flung bow
there's a picture on one we can see smoothed out
a part of a boulevard not torn but bright
and it's a bonbon for eyes that dry I'd treat
tucked in a chat upon a couchette
to Paris with you tomorrow night

As the sunset fades from the sky
As sugar disappears in tea
Please explain why

Because the love we had is fading
And my heart continues aching
Like how my lips used to after kissing

someday i'll rid myself of this awful mask.
i'll pop out of this shell
and leave right out of this personal hell.
i'll make a name great and plan
my escape
i'll swear at strangers and run right off of this estate
i'll kiss the boy i like and let him take me home
and never again will i fear the unknown