Guilt, sorrow or obligation are not love or compatibility
A soul mate isn't just nice or there just to make you happy
These things cannot force the issue of where your true self lies
It is wrong to take the gifts of another under false pretenses
The sooner this is realized the better off all you will be
True understanding of yourself will open the door to your life
Once you can begin to live alone, then you can begin to share your life
The decision to share your life must be made from a position of strength
The decisions of a confused mind can cause endless turmoil
Know who you are so you can know what you can give
Learn to make your decisions based upon your true self
Shed the desires that others have of your life
Their wishes come from their own weaknesses, not your strength
Remember the things you've always wanted and take them to heart
That is who you are
Find that person
It's you...

When you think of me
Don’t think too much
Except about being strong
Because I love you
And I always will

When you think of me
Don’t think of your fears
Think of our future together
Because I know you love me
Though your heart lies still

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

When you think of me
Don’t think of anything else
Except what it really means
You said you met someone
But what’s empty he’ll never fill

So many times we've waited
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

How impressed must you be
I didn’t think that was how two people share a life
I saw you raising a glass again
Are you looking for something or running from it?

If it’s so important
Then why are you afraid of me
It’s not that I’m not good enough
It’s that you no longer believe in you

How holy are your thoughts of you?
God told you he would forgive you
You’re afraid of what I might do to you?
What road could I lose you on that he cannot find?

It seems every word I’ve thought of falls short
I wonder how long you will wait for me to get it right
Sweeping someone off their feet is not so easy
You want what’s sure but love can only say what might

How holy are my thoughts of you?
God told you me would forgive you
I’m afraid of what I might do to you
What road could I find you on that he won’t mind?

Don't try to figure it out
It's obvious
You just know
But you can't believe it

Do you think I love you
Of course I do
I'm not the only one
So why would it feel so different?

Deep inside you lost your way
Boys burn holes with their eyes
Now a man plays like you
Every word sounds like goodbye

What happened to you?
You were untouchable
Now a flower without a vase
Lying alone not knowing why

Older changes patterns dissolve
Younger dreams love to solve
Older who knew what to do
Love decide me or you

Deep inside you found your way
The fire of desire became your own
Now you play like a man
Will I be the one lying alone?

I don’t know how you do it
You can love somebody
But live without them
You’re strong enough to be alone
But too weak to tell me about
The perfect lover you might lose

The tears you dry are disgusted
Flushed with color
Your cheeks remember
But your heart ignores
The things even it knows are true
About who you can’t resist

You hate how you forgive
You think it makes you weak
He knows why you love him
And that’s why he’s afraid
It’s too hard a life being
The perfect lover you might lose

Nobody can persuade you
It just has to happen
Only you will know
Time is not about when
Everything it knows has passed
It’s up to you now to be missed

They rode upon rising swells of hope
Every culture with its own dream
But we couldn’t sleep together
So our nightmares became mean

The ocean is not wide enough to stop a wave

He didn’t lengthen time, just the distance
It takes an illness to build that high of a wall
The thick became thin in a simple mind
Violins can no longer play nor a child’s doll

The sky is not high enough for clouds to disappear

Is it power or compassion that makes a decision
We can’t wave a hand like a beautiful woman can
The stretch marks on his head swelled with pride
While the church decides what to say to the man

The milky way is not bright enough to last the day

We imprisoned a man without telling him why
We told his mother we are afraid of her baby
We told a prophet he was not the one we believe
We told God that faith is not about a nations safety

We assume grace will ignore our unforgiving fear

Do we belong together?
Is there something greater than desire?
Is it fate?
Is it destiny?
Is there a difference?
Does it matter?
Two souls that are alike
Beautiful as snowflakes
But not as different as they are to one another
Or is it a coincidence?
Was it easier to open that door
The one where I stood
But I love you
No matter the reason
My mind is made up
I know it's true
Yet love asks more than that from us
It's not enough to know who you love
Fate is not enough
Nor destiny
Or an open door
It's not enough
I have to feel hurt from you
Difficulty
Anger
And remain by your side
I have to say goodbye to someone else
Be loyal to you
Tell them you are with me now
And show you that we are
I once knew how to do that
But now
I only know who I love
That's all I know
It's all I can do
Just know
You

I know what's inside of you
It's everything you showed me
You painted the walls black
But how many rooms are left?

The doors are closed
You're not sure what's in there
I wonder if it can be that way again
Or if you think I don't deserve you

I know how to make you live
I know how to take you there
You won't let me without a promise
It's become more important than me

I broke your heart once
Now you're breaking mine
I want to see if we can lose ourselves
Can we meet again for the first time?

Listen to the song of long ago
It feels the same my love
There is no need to wonder
I hear it if only you could too

I know this is a lost world
It’s not so hard to see
So many people are crying
Waiting for a parting sea

The path I chose is clear
No brush or signs to read
It’s not always easy
Still I have all I need

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Except the one you light yourself

There’s no conflict in my heart
What’s right hides from no one
But those who climb trees to lie
Are burned even by a setting sun

It’s not that the path is lonely
I walk in the middle like a parade
I can hear every whispered temptation
But my mind has already been made

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Unless you put it out yourself

He wanted to make a t-shirt
He put Einstein’s picture on it
Underneath the words said
“You don’t know ****”

He imagined being a crazy singer
One who made the crowd go nuts
Not because he gave them happy talk
But because acting crazy takes guts

I’m not sure what I’m going to do
But I can guarantee
You’ll remember what happened here
Because I made you feel crazier than me

It made him feel connected
Not to the fools all around
But to knowledge of those that did
But most of them are underground

He read about the place they blew up
All the horrors tried to run and hide
But somebody finally gave a ****
And dug up the truth lurking inside

I’m not sure what I’m going to do
But I can guarantee
You’ll remember what happened here
Because I made you feel crazier than me

That's right
Crazier than me
I made you crazier than me
You'll never know how easy it was
To make you crazier than me

I know
Or maybe I just think
I can't really judge
Culture is what we make of it
We own it
It says something about us
But my music
Is it really better?
Or is it because of the times
I can listen to something new
In my room
Or in a crowd of young people
But I'm not young anymore
So it has to be connected to something else
Something important to me
So is it the music
Or is it what I was doing at the time?
I once was part of the scene
Now I'm an observer
It doesn't matter what I say
Or what I know
So I'll just stay in my lane
I won't drive too fast
Or make a statement just to do it
I know I'm different
Why do I have to prove it to anyone?
I don't get off on that anymore
I don't trust anyone based on their age
I don't distrust anyone based on their age
I just listen
Then I decide
I know if it's of any value
Not to define their worth
But instead their willingness to be honest about themselves
It takes time
Sometimes there's not enough
And they move on
So it was just a point in time
And they may not even remember you knew them like that
When they were trying to prove their worth
And they didn't even know what it was
Or how to do it
They just wrote a novel in the way they spoke
But the pages will be discarded when they grow up
I'll just wait until that time
Because then they will know what I know
And that is that we really can't judge
Who's going to help the world anyway
What can you do except live?

Another half full glass, loud talkin' times
My friends together, speaking in rhymes
Full of ourselves, wearing our pride
It's just another night when everybody lied

Times are good and life is great
My mind does not know its coming fate
Suddenly someone tells me "you need to see the view"
I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

I stood alone not knowing what to do
Your eye I tried to catch with a long look at you
You seemed to notice me but in a fleeting way
All I could think was don't let her get away

My feet started walking, my mind was a mess
Your beauty all I see, covered by your dress
We are near each other, you have an expectation
I have your interest, no time for hesitation

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

Small talk drifts, panic setting in
I must keep her interest or she won't be my friend
Romance my want, your love for me only
My words are honest, you'll never be lonely

It seems my mind is what you admire
My words are setting your needs on fire
We can leave together or pledge to meet again
Now has come the time to let love in

You aren't just a moment
You are a lifetime
How can I win you over?
How can I make you mine?

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

I never felt rejected
That's not how losing something makes you feel
You are the one to blame
You should have known the things people steal
I never felt less
That's not the reason I'm sad today
I let you down
But I never believed you could walk away
It was my own ego
You tried to tell me that I didn't believe in you
I thought I was the one
Yet another man taught me that was not true
Now I know why
And the fields that I wander have grown high
That is where I am lost
That is where a hello becomes a goodbye

I was always felt I was real
But life made me a dreamer
I had to find a place to be happy
My pillow needs to get a little tougher

I’m not crying my friend
I’m the soil in the sun and the rain
I’m not a rock that can’t feel anything
And what will be is that I will grow again

I’m making it because I want to
I wake up and the day is mine, it’s true
The bullets and arrows only make me bleed
But I’m not dying, I know what I need to do

A beautiful woman is always on my mind
But I’m not living just to find something
At least not another way to say goodbye
It’s my imagination that knows my hearts being

I’m making it because I need to
I’m not leaving this life, I’m not through
I’ll let God decide when I’ve had enough
That’s when I will know how much he loved you

I’ve said so many things in the night
I bought diamond rings during the light
I’ve felt every emotion you can feel
I’ve swum in every ocean but it’s no longer real
Now I don’t know who I’m talking to

How many more times should I try
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always darkens the sky

I walked through the fields of a stormy night
I lowered my shields because I thought it was right
I think way back when about times I’d live again
But why think about then when I know how it will end
Now I don’t know what I’m going to do

How many more times to ask somebody why
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always tells the lie

I tried to build something better than what I was
Was it about love or just my own selfish dreams
You thought what I said was only for your touch
Love wasn’t supposed to be about lost movie scenes

How many more times to watch love cry
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always says goodbye

You have a heart made of glass
Everyone can see how you live
But it is too easily broken
By a heart made of stone

I entered without sound
Everything about you was there
But because I am light
I did not break into your home

Whatever the world may see
It is not how you feel
But to hide ourselves
Is to be always be alone

You said you felt the shards
As I left to rejoin the night
But it was not blood that spilled
Only love deeper than your own

I will soon return my love
When the moon lifts the sun
So you may find your way
To the dreams I have sown

One day I walked down the hallway
I said hello to everyone I saw
Then I became randomly ridiculous
She said I was absolutely insane
But her laughter told me it wasn’t true

I knew I would see them again
After all we worked together
They didn’t notice I wore no collar
Breaking the  dress code gave me power
But still my teeth hurt from the night before

I gave the phone calls no resistance
even though I knew they were wrong
To make people question themselves so
I laid a bridge to a safer place on the carpet,
crazy words that made everyone else feel sane

Black eyes longing not to have to say goodbye
But ready to leave as soon as this world will let them
Our children play while singers cry loudly
We know too much about the sacrifice
How can we teach them to choose wisely?

I watched a man cross the void today
I know I will miss him
We knew when we spoke but still we labored
The time for me will come someday
Until then I will help the others heal at my expense

You stood still
Not knowing to run
Or to let it happen

When my cheek touched yours
Your skin leapt upon mine
You were unable to stop it

Just as I was unable to…

Stop the water from the desert
Stop the light from the darkness
Stop the certainty from the doubt

And you let me open the door
Not knowing if I would stay

But it was time

And you closed your eyes
Because no light shall remain
That would blind your passion

I’m not telling a story
As soon as a chapter ends
I rip the pages out
I can do better than that
I’m not sticking to what I said
What did I know anyway?

I’m too old to talk about being shy
It’s too late for that one
If you want to be impressed
Then look the other way
The actors are expecting you
A life of pretend always feels better

It’s time for me to talk
You said it’s time to act
I can’t live a life of proof
I wish you could believe

What I said was true

I’m not so sure about how to live
That’s what made you wonder
But it wasn’t you I questioned
Instead it was why I kept changing
I thought  we were in the same car
We were but you lost your way

It’s time for me to act
You said you wanted to talk
You can’t live a life of faith
At least not in someone like me

What you said was true

Things were falling apart
The way we came together
And the way we lived
Falling apart
But we loved every moment
Until forever told you what to say

It’s time for something
What we said wasn’t enough
What we did wasn’t either
We just couldn’t believe

What we thought was true

I saw you walking
Staring straight ahead
In your wake lay every man
But a common girl you chose to be instead

You lived inside their every eye
A silence that stared to communicate
Your hands clasped in your lap
Instead of riches it is love that you await

The night you wore only your face
Was when you knew your own name
You went into the night unafraid
You decided life was better looking plain

Yes, I know how you can be
I was there
You showed me lust
It was the dream of every man
It wasn’t a picture
It wasn’t a fantasy
It was the real thing
And it was you

Yes, I know how you can be
I was there
You showed me anger
It was the fear of every man
It wasn’t a nightmare
It wasn’t a movie
It was the real thing
And it was you

Yes, I know how you can be
I was there
You showed me sadness
It was the guilt of every man
It wasn’t a pout
It wasn’t a spoiled girl
It was the real thing
And it was you

Yes, I know how you can be
I was there
You showed me love
It was the future of every man
It wasn’t a thought
It wasn’t a hope
It was the real thing
And it was you

Is the way it turned out meant to be?
I don’t have a choice for my past
We needed something to happen
The love was not lost upon us
But our prayers still need an answer

You were gone before I could decide
You said it was time to walk another way
Your tears told me the truth
It wasn’t our hearts that could say goodbye
Just a life that needed more than waiting

I once told her she was too crazy for me
She said that’s how it works
Being nowhere but in each other’s arms
That’s what it was for too long
The drinks were what kept us afloat

I don’t want to live for another day
I’m learning how to ignore time
It’s too easy to borrow
You might have known this all along
I only know that day never came home

I wanted to write about loneliness
Until she said she was accepted at the trial and the new chemo showed great promise

I wanted to write about darkness
Until she said she was relieved that the side effects were only nausea and fatigue

I wanted to write about pain
Until she said they found out her broken rib was because she was coughing so much

I wanted to write about loss
Until she said she had found faith because she finally allowed herself to believe

What if I sang you a song
And bared my soul to you
Is that what it would take
For you to lose your cool?

What if I was on a stage
And said I would die for you
Would you show me your heart
Or would I just be playing the fool?

I know you want love
But you’d rather pretend
You’re saving something
For someday
But I want everything
Today

I have to act like I’m not impressed
You know that’s the game
I’m ready to show you how I feel
But first I need to know your name

What if I walked right up
And didn’t give you a line
Would you still reject it
Or would you think it was a sign?

I know you want love
But you’d rather pretend
You walked right on by
But your eyes don’t lie

You’re saving something
But I want everything
You’re saving something
But I want everything
I want everything
Everything

I was death
Flying high above caring
For what was my life other than suffering?
Though I saw a rainbow
What *** of gold could my soul desire
When a storm is the only way I can dream?
Until my love
I walked upon the shore
And I knew I'd never leave again
For the light I saw
Beckoned
And when I came upon your life
I turned one last time to the sea
And the light upon the waters was no more
For it was now shining on me

the words floated towards her ears;
and though they were a whisper,
though not so much to her;
onward they flew,
like an arrow in search of an apple;
as i watched its unbending advance,
intent upon its true aim,
i prayed an eagle would sense its prey
and by its tyrannical claws,
sharpened for battle,
my insults would be given a stay,
dragged away for just recourse,
like a judge halting a widow’s creditors;
but alas my safe harbor of regret
was not soon enough in its valor,
as the apple i loved,
a beautiful gift of nature,
shattered
bursting loudly,
into the tears that exist only for me;
no they would not spare her,
not my words
not her tears
for once sent,
they could never repent,
and once wept,
they would never forget

Must I suffer to understand suffering?
Must I starve to understand starvation?
Must I bleed to understand bloodshed?
Must I experience in order to empathize?
Can I not feel your pain?
Can I not tell of your pain?
Can I not obsess about your pain?
My numbness is an abomination against mankind
I will not ignore
I will not turn away
I will be you....



Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I will live where I walk
Nothing to own except what I wear
Though I must offer some value
The world kills those who’s pockets are bare

I will sleep under the stars
They never ask who I am or make me pay
But the ground must swell over me
For the sky laughs at what shivers where they lay

I will care for my children
Without sitting high above lights that never sleep
The hand on the lever of society’s moral failings
Is no match for what a common man must keep

I will climb a mountain
Where temples stand hardened by destiny
For in the faces of holy denial
I will know the gulf between humility and celebrity

I will read the book again
And remove justification from my mind
I will not search to sanctify my glory
And in it I hope it is peace that I will find

I will walk to the rear
To honor those who know the pain of life
For in the days of my time
I have only witnessed but not felt true strife

My old friends
Fear, dread and worry
Have regained prominence
In my life’s story
The hard shell
Has begun to crack
From the exertion
Of my phony act
The monster
Under the bed
Of my youth
Is still not dead
My old enemies
Selfishness, avarice and hubris
Continue to guide me
Into the abyss
Of failure
Of neglect
Of uncaring
Of lack of respect
Towards others
As I swim further
Into the delusion
That I am superior
But to what?
Or to whom?
Those who starve
While I consume?
Do I smile
While the unemployed
Cry the tears
That I avoid?
As I step over the puddle
I chant in the mirror
"How great thou art"
While the truth draws nearer
I am not the answer
To love
How could I be
When I place myself above?
What I want
Becomes mine
No matter the ethos
I recognize no line
But I beg of you
Tell me now
Tell me the truth
I want to know how
To live humbly
To give generously
To sacrifice willingly
To serve gratefully
Stripped of pride
I ask to be forgiven
Tell me what I need to hear
I promise
I will listen

The drops of rain
Play a leaf like a drum
While desperate men
Are murdered
By a faceless enemy
My eyes are drawn near
Until the drops
Begin drawing lines
On my face
And my vision becomes blurry
Between life giving
And indifferent existence
I wish to become
As nature is
In harmony
Soothing
Instinctual
At times heartless
But beautiful
And without worry
I must ask
In what world of deception
Must the magic of caring
Overcome its daily death?
Where good men remain silent
Preferring to live anonymously
For fear of losing everything
Or the respect
Of a zealot
Who wrote the rules
That bind us mercilessly
Inside the pressure resonates
With looming consciousness
Where the end provides comfort
To rational thoughts early death
As time is killed needlessly
Take from me
The lashes of my weaknesses
Hurtful pride
Ruthless selfishness
Contrived masculinity
Look not my way for your ambition
For I will not die for you
I will not bow down
I will not pretend to understand
I will exchange your judgment
For my self-respect
All that remains is true integrity
Washing over me
Until I can no longer accept anything
But the truth
Of the horror
That you peddle endlessly

How can I know about death
When I know so little about life
What assurance can I offer?
What martyr has spoken to me?
What folded flag offers wisdom?

The place of my birth is a story I was told
The life I have lived is as weak as my strength to tell it

No one claps as I ascend the stairs
Only my daughter and son guide my lonely steps
What vows can I offer to a past that testifies against me
I raise my hand to no man
For what I swear to you serves no purpose
The setting sun returns silently
As long as I live I can only live day by day
And pray that you to believe in me by night

Whatever code I honor
I will not speak of it
It will burn silently inside my heart

Upon my last breath you may lay a wreath
And as it falls upon the fire that was once my body
Do not cover my eyes with the coins of Caesar
Let them instead see you from the other side
For the vision I bring to our Lord are not the words of a man
But instead the gift of you that I return to his womb

I wish I’d saved it
Every smile I chose to hide
Every note that fell into silence
Every silence made into noise

I wish I’d killed it
Every laugh that became snide
Every confidence that was arrogance
Every blessing I played like toys

I wish I’d saved it
Every star I traced while you cried
Every pretty face I pretended was darkness
Every emotion I traded for poise

I wish I’d killed it
Every time I saw you and lied
Every time I thought money was happiness
Every time I saw tears but said it wasn’t for boys

How many people actually live their own lives,
waiting to buy or receive a ring;
dreaming of making enough money
to take pictures of somewhere else
I really wonder
if you’re living your life or mine?

I wanted to wave a microphone all around,
but I don’t know how to sing
Never mind all that anyway
There’s enough in my heart
to really wonder
am I deep enough to make you listen?

This town once meant something,
but hope never takes wing
I found it walking alone,
hoping for a cigarette
He made me wonder,
why don’t we go to church on a corner?

I think I’ve told you everything
Are my scars so bad?
You had a better day than I
So what I say to that
Why would you wonder
if yesterday or today mean anything tomorrow?

I shouted into the tomb of refusals
It was as I feared
There wasn’t even an echo
Indifference had shuttered her memory
A response was not worthy of being heard
Yet a faint sound melted away the silence
For once the sad song was about me
A song I never cared for
Suddenly had meaning
Because it was about you
And me
But who played the notes you never heard?
Who wrote the words about a dream you never shared?
For once I wondered
About how a stranger
Could know me so well
I wonder if he knew you

It’s not enough to say
I could tell you of the stars I saw
But that would leave out the ones who heard me too
I could describe the pain
But it might not sound as sad as what happened to you

I decided to watch some candles burn
It’s the way they share themselves
But then they’re gone forever as is the moment they lit
We were the same but wax is not love
Now I have to light another one to help me forget

I started to pray but then I stopped
I wanted you to decide on your own
The way water falls is to not worry which way to go
Living like that washes away the past
But when I flooded your eyes with sadness you said no

It was just the three of us… me, my girl and her friend
We played love songs that made us cry when they would end

Then her friend decided to go
“My husband and I never sing
So I can’t stay just to cry alone”
But my girl said at least you have a ring

I wondered why we were able to be so free
And yet I couldn’t bring myself to fall to one knee

It’s the knowing that I can leave
That eases my worried mind
It’s the knowing that she’ll wait
That makes me treat her so unkind

She looked at me with her heart bleeding rivers of when?
I told her it worked for us because I’m not like other men

But she did not like that answer
And her hurt tore me up inside
I couldn’t think about tomorrow
But she had to think about female pride

I hate the way the world works with all the rules
It seems everyone repeats the mistakes of fools

“My mother is ready for me to get married
My friends have their rings for all to see
You don’t understand what it’s like to be the last one
To have a man show everyone his love for me”

I was thinking she had her rights and was truly free
But maybe love bound her with the shame I could not see

So what should I do my love to ease your pain?
Am I with your mother or am I with you?
That is not what our love is all about
The moment we change our love will too

So is it time for you to move on and find someone to come home to?
Yesterday will make us cry because we will long for the days we once knew

You can tell a lot about a person
If you take out their trash
The things they throw away
Once meant something to them
Now it’s the another man’s problem

She’s just not going to tell you
You have to guess and hope it works
It’s better though not to pick a card
You might not be a prophet tomorrow
If you were you’d be too old for her

I’m not a prophet
I’m not a shaman
But I can tell you what’s going to happen
Somebody’s gonna’ cry
But I can’t tell you who it might be
I just hope it’s not you or me

I’m awake again in the same place
I think too much to be much fun
How can I relax under the moonlight
When I try to solve puzzles in the sky
By looking at reflections in your eye

Some guys always guess right
It’s the gift they were born with
They can be whatever it takes
Being too honest was my original sin
You didn’t tell me that’s what you wanted

I’m not a prophet
I’m not a shaman
But I can tell you what’s going to happen
Somebody is gonna’ cry
I won’t tell you who it might be
It might be you or it might be me

The truth is,
my mind sweats more than it bleeds
Every puncture is filled,
salty tears water the debts of tomorrow’s seeds
The sun goes down,
but I’m never sad about something I seek
I work at what I am,
the things I believe are never easy or weak
To see things as God does,
a prophet studies leaves until the fall
What can we know,
it is in the silence between us that hears the call
I know I was,
but it wasn’t anything I could explain over drinks
You wanted to laugh,
so it never was a question of what each of us thinks
The lie is,
that I can forget everything I want just for you
Until you ask,
I will just assume that what I just said is true
But I know,
it can be as complicated as I want to make it
And you know,
that the reason I do that is because I can’t fake it
Stand up to me,
I need to know that no love can be about itself
All I do now,
is think about how bad I want your picture on my shelf
When I talk,
the things that happen seem to be unaffected by me
But when you suffer,
I remember that it was probably because I was too free

Jackson Reilly may not be real
Neither is the story he denied
But somebody saw something
And somebody is the one who lied

He knows what really happened
He’s the keeper of the conspiracy
He was there before you arrived
He’s the one who made truth a fallacy

What really happened?
Did anyone break the law?
The facts don’t mean anything
If you didn’t see what he saw

He’s a pawn just like you and me
Maybe one day he’ll tell us
But it won’t change a thing
A lie has no cause for justice

Does anyone really care?
Everybody knows history is about winners
Is this what we teach our children?
Yet we tell them not to be sinners

Jackson Reilly is a fiction
But that’s where truth goes to die
Somebody saw something
But somebody was forced to lie

What really happened?
Did anyone break the law?
The facts don’t mean a thing
If you didn’t see what he saw

Is today another day we forget?
Are you the person they’re gonna’ deny?
Will we ever know the reasons why?
Will we know the questions to ask
Of a past that told us goodbye?
Way back when somebody decided to lie

It was thirty six years ago today
Sergeant Pepper has nothing more to say
He never did go out of style
But a bullet erased his smile

They blew his mind out on the streets
He didn’t notice that the times had changed
A crowd of people turned and stared
They wondered who they should blame

He laid his heart in the fields
His mind protected from hate
Strawberries will forever grieve
Over the violence of his fate

We played his mind games
While he gave peace a chance
Why didn’t we know it was real?
His feelings not a song and dance

Will we ever come together?
Dreams are like diamonds in the sky
He asked that we join him
Though love and peace had to die

Another man of peace they had to ****
We cried even though it was God's will
I'd love to turn you on to him again
Come together, find a new friend

Number... number nine... number nine
We're talking evolution not revolution
Number nine... number nine... number nine
Never forget to imagine the solution

In her mind’s eye she saw God walking towards her
So sure of it she began to give him all the glory
Life to her became a game of lost and found
She believed even though men wrote the story

“Follow me,” she said, “I know the ways of the Lord”
She had chosen her path and now wished to tell
She loved me so much she cried over my soul
She said, “The road you’re on surely leads to hell”

My spirit cries for an answer
But the birds always fly away as the roots dig deeper
They are unsure of branches that sway in the wind
They thirst for the brook of desire ****** by the Lord’s keeper

The eyes of the sun rise each day with renewed hope
Tempting me with wide-eyed assurance
In the mind of a zealot there are no more questions
The answers have been chosen for deliverance

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through our burnt eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
She silently watches as I open the dam of my own desires
What piper can play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the decision as we choose the one our heart requires

Can I ever believe
What I cannot see?
Can I ever see
What I cannot hear?
Can I ever hear
What I cannot feel?
Can I ever feel
What I cannot believe?
Should I take my own life
Because I am doomed?
What life is it
That is a journey for the ******?



Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona.

They asked me
Didn't you notice something was wrong
I thought
How can you tell?
I hadn't reached that point yet
I wasn't drinking from the same cup anymore
I had a strange feeling inside
I'd seen a lot of looks cast my way
But not all of them were smiles
It's hard to decide what's normal sometimes
Especially when you're trying to let go
Rejecting life is not the way to know someone
I didn't want to be the one to say it
I thought about being judged
I knew I'd lose that one
Everytime
There's too many things to hide
But it's easy for them to find
When you look for their sins it opens every door
Except when they open you see them standing there
And it's not what you were expecting to see
Because what you didn't notice
Were the things you didn't want them to see
But you invited them in
The fingers that pointed all belonged to you
And they brought them back to you
Because they had no use for something that was wrong

I’m trying to strip everything away
Everything that has happened
Everything that has been said and done
Just to remember the day I stared at love
In the eyes of a stranger
Just to remember how it was that I wanted you
Naked
Piercing my back with your nails
As you have done so many times
And yet I allow the curse of my judgment
Stand in the way
Of your giant heart
And I am so wrong
Because I know why you have become my judgment
You never had a chance
Because I am all about one thing
Myself

I think I love them all
Each and every one
I can’t remember who was mad
I just remember the fun

They all touched my life
But now they’re gone
They passed through my hands
Like dew that dries after dawn

How can I hold a grudge
Against a girl I touched
A girl I held
A girl I missed
How can I hold a grudge
When I’d take you back
Just because we kissed

You never forget a girl
Once you’ve closed your eyes
You always remember
The way she sighs

They don’t give themselves away
But you love it when they do
You will always think of her
Even if she was untrue

How can I hold a grudge
Against a girl I touched
A girl I held
A girl I missed
How can I hold a grudge
When I’d take you back
Just because we kissed

How can I not want
The moments that we shared
When you were all I wanted
When I knew you still cared

I need to be left alone for a while
That's what we all say
If I could dream even for a moment
That storm won’t break my mast
And the wind won’t blow for long

I need someone who has a life
And doesn’t hate anybody
She’ll read the news like everybody
But she won’t have the heart to judge
‘Cause she knows that’d be wrong

That’s her at the end of the bar
She might be drinking whiskey
She might be drinking wine
I’m gonna’ think about her heart
Just like I want her to think about mine

It’s a crying shame
Somebody trying to care
I can’t figure out why I’m always here
And she’s over there

I need someone like me
I’m not going to think about the past
It’s how I’m gonna’ make love last
I’m not going to compare you to nobody
I’m gonna’ pretend I’m really that strong

That’s her at the end of the bar
She was drinking whiskey
Now she’s drinking wine
I’m gonna’ think about her life
I hope she's thinking about mine

What if you took everything you ever said
and piled it in a corner?
Would the words fall apart and become
aimless letters strewn all about?
Would they remember if they were happy,
sad, loud or soft?
Or will they just lay there waiting for your
imagination to sprout?

Will you sit and watch for them to begin a
new life without a past?
Will you lay among them knowing they will
wait for you to choose?
Will you begin to reconstruct your life with
the loves you failed to notice?
Will you say the things you were unable
because you have nothing to lose?

Nothing you say will change what was said
thirty years ago when you were so sure
But the pride of yourself remains, stripped
of what you thought you once were
You have the chance to look at each letter
closely, remembering it’s place
What shape or form could possibly come to
mind that would change her?

Maybe each letter should spend a day alone
with a memory that you tried to forget
And informed of who you were and what you
failed to do they whisper as you sleep
Yes it happened as you remember and we know
why you cannot release yourself
And now that we know what to do let us return
all the words over which you weep

Sitting on a sofa watching my mind travel
beyond anything my body could follow
I don’t need space above or below to know
the things we should have learned long ago

Walking through the halls were money is made
smiling at my fellow inmates who feel the same
whatever it is that we live for is beyond the walls
built by those with hands that never feel shame

So far away
So far away
I can still feel it
No matter how far away

Sleeping in a bed that once new love every night
but now can only pretend it never happened
I thought about setting it on fire in the rain
so it would look like a heart that was blackened

Thinking about the words that know where to go
inside your nights or the dreams you never did say
the impatience of being close to what you once loved
is like the sun setting on songs that echo off the bay

So far away
So far away
I can still feel it
Just like it was today

It’s come to this
Metaphorically speaking
I need it
I need the playground to become a calm emerald sea
And the Monarchs to become sailboats idling their time away
I need them to light upon my finger
To be carried away into the delight of my daughters eyes
To trust us
We want to be entertained
We want a memory to exist
But they fly away as we approach
Yet one stayed
So close
We touched
Raw nerved
And then
It sailed away
We were so disappointed
We wanted them to know us
To know we understood them
So we could join them
And dance among the flowers
With a past that was shed
And become sailboats
Floating
On calm green sea
Just my daughter and me

Give them what they want
Or make them want what you have to give
A pretty face makes you stupid
She knows it, that's why she acts that way
It doesn't matter why they feel the way they do
You fell for it, you deny it, but we know better
Nothing older than you can be questioned
You just have to decide what it is you wish to believe
It's better to take pictures of flowers in the spring
Than endure someone who can't understand your mind
It's not about getting there from here
It's about making there what here is all about
A transformed mind has forgotten his childhood
And must say no to his mother and mean it
If you ever decide you can be faithful
Then you are the luckiest man in the world

It's not how he touches you
It's how he whispers in your ear
He tells you his worries
And it softens your heart

You said he treats you good
But why did you tell me that
It's as if you're setting me up
To tell me about your new start

Just tell me baby
I can take it
You know what we had
That's why you can't fake it
Just tell me
Just tell me he's your new man

You do things on your own now
Things you used to ask me about
But you don't have to burn bridges
When we're living so far apart

I don't worry anymore
But I still think about it
I know how you love a man
Are you going take him where I've been?

Just tell me baby
I can take it
You know what we had
That's why you can't fake it
Just tell me
Just tell me he's your new man