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Maria Monaghan May 2018
oh the perverse desire
to tear off my skin
to slice my tender flesh
to carve and chop

oh to feel the cool air against my bones
to be fully exposed
to be grotesque and unlovely

oh to rip my chest open
to be
unrestrained by ****** borders and
finally free

oh sweet freedom!
see me as i am;
vile and dying, in constant pain
a broken slice of hell

amen.
i wrote this a long time ago but i was going through old journals and found it.
Maria Monaghan May 2018
I've been lying here for 3 hours now
Staring at the wall
Stravinsky plays, but I don't listen
My eyes are glazed
My mind adrift

and I am in limbo.

Somewhere between fantasy and reality
Somewhere between elation and despair

Here I lie,
Suspended in time and space
Not quite sure how to exist
And ready to go home.
Maria Monaghan Apr 2018
two lives
two moralities
two vices i can’t give up

two bottles
two pound entry
two am and i’m stumbling home

two bodies
two moans
two people trying to feel alive

too broken
too chaotic
too hard to make this choice
i just feel like im being pulled between two lifestyles and i have to choose which to follow. im called to surrender everything but i just cant give it up. im cloning myself, creating two different personalities which i can switch between, given the situation. and now i dont know which one is the real me.
Maria Monaghan Apr 2018
What is the body of a woman?
She is stardust,
Wanderlust,
Passion and desire.
She is paradise,
Eurydice,
Cosmic and enthralling.
She is poetry,
Idolatry,
Sapphire and ruby.

What is the body of a woman?
She is hidden,
Forbidden,
Sinful and perverted.
She is apostasy,
Ecstasy,
***** and Gomorrah.
She is shameful,
Painful,
Torturous and gleaming.

What is the body of a woman?
She is secret,
Kismet,
Philia and Eros.
She is repression,
Obsession,
Exquisite and divine.
She is carnal,
Eternal,
My burden and my joy.

— The End —