Notice the way I change when you enter the room.
Notice the way you make my lips curl into a smile when you speak to me.
Notice the way your face reflects so handsomely in my brown eyes.
Notice the way my body shudders beneath your touch.
Notice the way I taste on your lips, lust and desire.
Notice the way that I can’t live without you.

Notice the way I change when you leave.
Notice the way I have no smiles left, only frowns.
Notice the way you can’t see a thing through my glassy eyes.
Notice the way that my hip bones poke through my tee shirt.
Notice the way my lips chap and bleed when you kiss me.
Notice the way that I’m dying without you.

If you had 3 wishes
would you spend them all on yourself
wishing them away on love and wealth
or would you stop and think

maybe I can change the world

would you choose to be a good dancer?
or would you cure cancer?

would you want to be younger?
or end world hunger?

would a sign with your name say: Featuring?
or would you end world suffering?

i dream about
that girl
that girl
who can wear that
dress
and smoke
after school

she can let her
hair down
even on the hot days
and let it fall
and dance
on the small of her back

she breaths in
the lethal fumes
that don't even touch her
her porcelain skin
too taut to let the
poisons in

she sits and lets
the sun melt on her face
as she lays on the freshly
cut grass
the boys staring
and her not caring

i sit and stare
at that girl
who sits and stares
right back at me
through the smoke
of my infinite
dreams

I lay in the bathtub soaking
wet with water running
around my silhouette.  Shaking
as the washcloth smeared regrets
over my skin. The bubbles
give my sins a scent.

As I vent I leave the shower
running so my sobs
are the only thing drowning.
The constant tapping on my face
keeps me awake as I sink into
the various stews my mind creates.

Weights are lifted with pruning. Peeling
of dead skin keeps me from
reeling into depression. There is a harmonic
progression between the faucet and my face,
the scrubbing and my disgrace, the steam and
my own embrace.

I need this state. The decompression
from being bottled up, like a coke, with a smile
is worthwhile. It teaches me
that the expression of  weakness
is key in the building of a better Timothy.

It was deadly,
forever cold,
freezing
way up
inside the Hindu Kush,
but after some time,
we'd become experts,
would find a spot
with a perfect
field of view,
without bushes.

Darkness would settle
& we sport NVG's,
searching
the avenues
below.

Who knew country boys
full of **** & vinegar,
like us,
would end up
in a granite-nest
like this?

Buzzer, Rock, & me
sat in the
most excellent
of **** zones
way above the treeline,
whispering about
trivial *******
which meant nada.

We would hold our breath
when we heard movement,
the slightest pebble roll.
Tracers pinpointed
the cause
creating blood trails
with no bodies,
because they always
took the dead
by dawn.

Eyelids get heavy as i reload the messages for the thousandth time
When will i get that he doesn't feel like i do
hanging onto every word like a baby it's shoe
every few minutes falling needing to be picked up again
feeling as helpless and useless as without my pen
well maybe all is not lost
he never said it was
I shouldn't over think everything he does
trying to read the signs
when really i'm blind
without a clue how he feels
so i put on my heels
swap my jeans for a dress
and wait for someone to make me less
I am whatever they want because I amn't enough for him
Pathetically in my tears later I will swim.

It seems like hypocrisy
the way the ones promising a heaven
grow old
and on their death beds cry
"life is far too short"
because they wasted theirs
humming hymns and cowering in a pew

I saw it on the news
that a church burnt to the ground
with a hundred or so people inside
and I have to ask you
did the lord hear their prayer?
(b.r.o.)