I want you to tell me you love me but I know you won't I texted you drunk because I know it's the only time I can talk to you these days I miss you because we've both changed so much it's like we don't even know each other and you said we have more in common than you and my brother ever did and that's so ******* depressing because you two were best friends and I loved it when you two were friends because we could hang out and I could leave whenever I wanted and I miss that but you hardly talk anymore and it's been seven ******* years and now is when you decide to part ways but it's been too long and I miss you and I'm sorry I'm being so emotional I'm sorry I can only talk to you when I'm drunk but that's the only time I'm brave enough to be honest with you and I want to kiss you I'm sorry but I do I want you to hold me like you used to when we didn't know any better because your hands were so warm and I am so ******* cold and I miss you and I'm drunk and I miss you and when I'm sober I hate you but it's only because you don't love me like I want you to

I haven't written poetry
since the night with all the blood
because I'm afraid that the demons
might crawl out from underneath my fingernails
and singe the edges of my paper with their hellfire
and I am trying to get better,
I swear I am,
it's just hard when
I can't tell my own voice apart from
the monsters in my head.

Today I found a suicide note
that I have no recollection of writing.
It was addressed to my mother
but it felt more like a death threat
to myself
from someone who knows me
too well.

I keep telling myself
I do not want to die
but even with winter approaching
the days seem to be getting longer
and sleep
is the only time I feel safe.

It has been 17 days and 16 hours
but the cuts on my wrist still ache
when I move my arm the wrong way.
I don't think they're healing right.

I know this house is haunted
because I can hear demons
whispering ****** into my hairline.

Today I found a suicide note
that I have no recollection of writing.
I am writing another.

How many hearts will die tonight
from the hurt you threw around
don't you care for others pain,
in the darkness which cannot see ...

Our fire consumed for a while
it evaded our hearts and made us smile
now tears well up, because I just don't know
friendship is vacant for me, I cry ...

Dear old man, i heard your stories
more than once, tell me, yes tell me
why you make me cry, your lies are building
you are hate, you wrote yourself to death for a while...

Because nothing ever goes as planned
your cold hard heart that incurs the indignity
of everyone that knows, how you are letting go
your life, and love, for nothing but greed and no smile ...

Debbie Brooks 2014 @copywrite..

Blessing dropping down
from the gloomy darken cloud~
The spring comes alive

Diving under blue
When her life becomes askew
She can't stop sinking

With eyes on sunset,
In vast horizons we fell,
  .  .  .  Love set fires to sea.