chic chic* bang

chic chic bang
* ring ring* ring ring*
Hello.
No, no that can't be so

All my life I had to fight
Never knew what was wrong or right
Nobody had faith in me
They all abandoned me
But not that man
The man who gave me a chance

Now he is dead
And I'm all alone once again

All my life I had to fight
Never knew what was wrong or right
Nobody had faith in me
They all abandoned me
But not that man
The man who gave me a chance

Now he is dead
And I'm alone once again

But before he went out with a bang
He taught me one valuable thing
The only reason I'm alone is because I chose to be

All I am is a number
On a computer screen,
Three point seven nine,
Slowly going down
And all you are
Is a can of cheap beer
That you chug, chug, chug
Just to break my heart,
It seems.
You think I’m a criminal
But I said no to the cigarette,
I said no to the drugs,
I said no to the shady crowd
And I hang on to a boy
Who treats me like you treat me
Sweet when I behave
But never going out of his way
Since I’m not worth it
And I treat him
The way I treat you
With hopeful, bright eyes
Lying to myself
Maybe tomorrow
He’ll love me.

Loyalty exist
In everyone,
Who cares without doubt
Cannot be expressed
by the words
Of the mouth
It was seen in the act of the heart
Makes loyalty in every part.

You told me
How much you love rain
Then why you always bring an umbrella?

You told me
Everybody has their demons
and you say we should fight it
But why you always
keeping your demon inside?

You told me
How to keep something important
You say my heart is important
Then why you broke it?

We must start somewhere
And I'm starting from the lowest point
A mind full of everything
But hands completely empty

We must start
Else we will surely never reach an end
While I'm sleeping in my car
I dream of mansions

And its hard work
Its the ability to be strong
When my words can change worlds
And my music can make the people dance

We must start
And what better time
Than right now
I'm ready to take the next step

One by one
Elevation
Still I know the next step
Leads me closer to the tops of mountains

And one day I know I'll reach

I am the sky,
The girl who keeps her head in the clouds.
     I am the land of the unknown,
The girl who dreams of being anywhere but reality.
     I am the ocean,
With feelings going up and down just like the waves.
     I am the flowers in spring,
The girl who is sweet and fun to be around.
     I am the distant fear inside,
The girl afraid to do/ say or believe outside her comfort zone.
     I am a warrior,
The girl who overcame many obstacles.
     I am a bunny,
The girl whose thoughts hop around from one topic to another.
                             I am me.

your sadness is showing,
put it away.
no one wants to see
your depression today.

it's not time for that,
some might say,
its so unbecoming
to act that way.

your anxiety is showing,
tuck it in.
the world shows no interest
in what's under your skin.

take a deep breath,
that's where you begin,
or, that's what they say
with a pat and a grin.

your illness is showing,
keep it away.
no one is interested
in that anyway.

but by letting it fester,
and by letting it stay,
it might make me
disappear some day.

Depression is gradual,
It doesn't start off looking in the mirror and thinking 'I hate myself'
It's more like every day you get worse and worse until eventually you realize how many times a day you fake a laugh,
It's the times you wanted to curl up into a ball but instead you fake a smile and act normal.

Depression is not self harm,
It isn't defined by the number of scars you have or how deep they are,
It isn't the nights spent crying or how your home life is,
It's feeling tired all the time and having this hole in your chest that no amount of fake smiles can fill.
It's nights spent staring at a wall or constantly sleeping because nothing is worth doing.

Depression is not romantic,
It can't be cured with a few hugs and I love you's,
It isn't scars to be kissed or bruises to be caressed,
It's nights spent alone even when there are people beside you,
It's emptiness and realizing that all of those things you used to do, that you used to revel in, aren't worth it anymore.

Depression is real,
It isn't wanting attention or someone to tell you everything will be fine,
It isn't wearing short sleeves so people notice your scars or telling everyone how sad you are,
It is looking at the casket of one of your friends because we didn't notice it, because no one saw the signs,
It's a noose around your neck 24/7 because that's all you can think about,
It's emptiness and loneliness,
It's sleepless nights but sleep filled days,
It is the worst feeling in the world,
Depression is real and depression kills