i fear that the beauty you see in me
will fade
as soon as you see me undressed
i fear that our forever
won’t be as long as you promised
once you get a taste of my lips
and i blame myself
for not being enough for you
when in reality
i am full
and you are empty
you try and empty me
in order
to fill yourself
i beg you
please
don’t empty me

and here i am
waiting
for tomorrow
to fade into today
excitement runs through my veins
my heart rate rises
and here i am
waiting

i used to lay
on the hard sidewalk
sandwiched between the street
and the subway station
in the early morning
and feel the rhythmic
tap
    tap
       tap
of each step
of each passerby
wondering for each
what are your struggles
your everyday fight
what breaks you
and defeats your pupose
then i stay
and wait
until the familiar faces
pass by again
and by now
it is dark
and cold
when they walk by
i wonder once more
what reminded you to live today
what is the reason you keep on surviving
why do you continue to breathe today
who showed you how to overcome
i've noticed since then
that i don't remember
the faces
no
i remember the eyes
the familiar eyes
that remind me of
the struggle to live
the fight to survive
the broken breaths
the defeats
and i'm reminded
that no one showed you how to overcome

what if forgetfulness
is the heart’s only defense
against painful memories

to be understood
you have to be willing to understand
to be loved
you have to be willing to love
to be cared for
you have to be willing to care
if you are unwilling
to meet other people's needs
how do you expect them
to meet yours