One fleeting chance to catch you between trapezes
Yet my head was bowed, my thoughts immersed
In another dream of another life that i longed to live
A moments lapse careers you to that downward spiral
Through all those safety nets, all those webs we wove
Once so secure borne from our labour, love and toil
Exposed now like a promise of night through a civil dawn
As you fall through each of my declarations of trust
You blow out the candles and knock out the lights
Of celebrations and occasions now shattered like glass

Blackness descending through this never blinking eye
As those moments and time perpetually relive yet resist
The blood still refusing to flow freely through my veins
As i sit and wait for this evening coffee to run cold
That i may embrace the sanctuary of night once more
For I was one that could never dream in the dark
No more than one who could ever make amends
Between those two trapezes that signaled our end

To my friends
who can write
fresh-smelling
bouquets of words
with splendid color,
I offer my envy.
Mine are the blunt, stunted words,
rooted in the cracks
in pavement,
or forcing their way
to light around
overbearing rocks.
Some useful
in their own way,
edible or flavorful,
some with a
pedestrian beauty,
but few that one
would bring home in a bunch
with a box of candy.
More appropriate
in a grimy, young fist
crumpled in love,
destined to be vased
in a water glass
by a doting mother,
or shredded petal by petal
for the sake of soothsaying...
he loves me, he loves me not.

This pain in my chest,
The feeling of disgust,
I have it all the time.
I cant sleep,
Paranoia the whole night,
I cant have friends,
Or a life.
Im too insane,
and too unworthy.
        j.b

Everyone is so obsessed with
      trying to find Sanity
While I'm just keeping to myself,
      praying not to ever be.

The Sanity that you all want and yearn for and desire
Is nothing more than living in a world engulfed in **Fire

It will happen to the best of us
losing our insanity
I climbed into a tree of lust
to feel reality
We're only living on the crust
and the earth is really deep

He would appear and disappear
without a sound
Would stare at the stars
all night long
Sleep on the cold desert floor
Eat peyote buds
and sing war songs
He was rich
in all the nothing he had
Identified as a thunderbird
The animal spirits
were sacred in his world
Asked about gold
and he would scorn
Holding up water
the most precious
in all forms
I called him Navaho
        NO !
Call me Dineh !
So I did