This is a document that you will never save
The unspoken words between you and him
Apologies
Things that can now never be sent
You copy them over, once maybe twice
Afraid that if you completely delete them they are gone
They never existed
Just like the apologies you meant to say
They fell flat before even reaching your fingertips

My skin aspires to be more than just a doll, a story, a song.
More then just a picture book, more than something you only read in bed
Not bound by leather or the clothes on my back
Call me an individual, for that is all I want to be
We strive for normality when all we want is peace
A peace that can only come when we realize we aren't art
We are not paintings to just for viewing
We are history itself; we are not one idea
I do not strive for greatness, I strive have a place to stand
A tree in a forest of graves

I still don't understand how these rotted pieces of flesh form words
The scratched diary of an insane man in the walls
Bleeding with every word that escapes
Like a cell, it only holds criminals
No keys and only one way out
Thoughts escape all the time
Repeat offenders, stuttered sounds
Silence is justice on a street of fatal shootings
How can peeled skin show love when it can spew so much hate
I say good bye as I assault another man with my words
Beat him until he knows the words I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I feel the daisies sprouting in the cracks of my skin when I see them
Blooming with all their might, screaming
They go towards the light, he is all the sun I need
Burning, they blister out like tumors, pain that echos in my body
It doesn't really hurt however, the good times out weigh the bad
They attract butterflies that well in and out of my stomach
The roots choke the words I wish I would have said
When I explain this to him, he sounds sad, sorry
I try to tell him how it really feels, all the gory details
And the small but beautiful ones, like how these flowers let you forget the world
They let me float with him, weightless and light
I understand that this is more then a flower, it is love
And it is something I will never be able to describe clearly

Falling
Fleeting
This disaster repeating
A relapse
Small words
Make them easy to understand
I can't think to much
There is no permanence
I can only see what's in front of me
Little dreams
I strung them along
I tried to see the line
Trying to connect them all
Little droplets
I don't know if they are tears
Another relapse
Mistakes and mistakes
Again and again
I find my self here
Walking the line between dreams and reality
But both directions are dark
And I can barely breathe

Silence and sullen breaths
We are all tired now
Sick from a life of thinking
So I sink, deep into my thoughts as they rip me open
Both a horrifying and comforting embrace
I sleep
Knowing all these thoughts shall drain
Never to be seen
Never to cross my lips
Calmly dying in the reservoir of my mind
Like birds trapped in a cage

This thought is just another tree in a forest of problems
So I'll cut it all down, I'll burn this forest to the ground
Make it so I no longer have to think
So my brain can finally melt away
We can start anew
With all this extra lumber
Build a whole new town
One with a little less corruption
With a little less thought
More conformity
Because what broke me was not acting the part