I found darkness in you.
The familiarity of abandonment
Of pain.
I clung to it.
I clung to you as if you had all my answers
As if you could clinch my thirst of attention
Lack there of, rather

It was toxic
It would **** me
But I wanted more


You remind me of my father

FOR loving ME
FOR BEING SO ABOVE ME
EVEN THROUGH YOUR INFERIORITY-
FOR DOING SO MUCH FOR ME
BUT ACTUALLY DOING SO LITTLE.
DON’T LOOK AT ME, BUT
PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY.

I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN YOUR SATIN BEDSHEETS.
AS OFTEN AS I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN WORDS AT YOUR THROAT.
I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH.
I NO LONGER FEEL love. I FEEL ALL OF THE WEIGHT, THOUGH YOUR TOUCH MAKES THE LOAD OF CONDITION WEIGHTLESS.
THE LIFT OF THIS BURDEN IS MOMENTARY.
WE GRAVITATE, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT.
I HATE YOU
FOR loving ME.

I wish you could- live in my mind.
I mean in alot of ways you already do- live in my mind.

In my mind you are the calm before and during the storm.
You are appreciated over & over again.
You are dreamed over & cherished without worry.
In my mind you are the relief to every ache, every crevice that dares scream of pain.
Your touch, your feel is one that screams I need more.
And once that touch is satisfied I'll still have that urge.
The urge to reach out and grab you.
In my mind you are the reason I close my eyes.
Squinting tight picturing you there always.
A grin curved on your lips.
In my mind you are always and forever wrapped tight in my arms, my warm sufficing the need for blanket.
My nose tucked in the side of your neck.
My hand layed across your stomach and our toes relaxed without a single thing to do.
Lost in the current of sheets and pillows.
In my mind you are the ocean serene & calm.
The sky your favorite color purple.
The observation of everywhere we are is a dream away.
And you remain always in my mind

For you are a being whose radiance combats my dark aura.
For you listen to my ramblings not out of pity but out of sincere genuine affection
It seems you understand not the amount of joy you have brought to this soul
One who had no recognition of the sensation of such for we were separated for eons when I was lost in the void
For I take upon the mantle of your Nocturnal Knight while Milady embodies the celestial being he shall serve
A purpose found in making her smile and preventing anything that evokes her tears unless they be ones of joy

Being in love so deeply
so beautiful and intense.
Want to be taken away
by the different winds
To a place unknown
a place far away
Where no one knows
Where no one has to pretend
Where I can be in your arms
and gaze deeply in your eyes
A longing to belong to you
as never known before
To let me take you in my arms
And make you mine.

Shell✨🐚

i do believe you
when you told me about that lie
acted as if that was true
never will I ask why

i will believe you
even if i know its false
even if it'll make me blue
I'll believe it all

i still believed you
though you lied so many times
but in my eyes and view
these are not your crimes

i believe you
in every single way
like a fool, i do

I know what it must be like
to deal with me;
but I assure you
it's not as hard
as dealing with being me.

I simultaneously push people away,
keep them at a distance with falsities
designed to prevent incidents
like people actually getting to know the real me

and wish they knew enough to understand
why

why it is that I grew to become this.