My friend cut his hair.
Many weeks ago.
His hair was long,
But now it's short,
Much shorter than before.

My friend cut his hair.
It's softer to the touch.
I pat his head,
A gentle tap,
He didn't like it much.

My friend cut his hair.
It used to hide his eyes.
I see them both,
Like pretty jewels,
No longer in disguise.

My friend cut his hair.
It makes him different now.
His eyes light up,
His smiles are warm,
As warm as he'll allow.

I,
for a moment in a vast space of time,
was angry.
Not at myself,
not at the world,
but at you, for you, *because of you.

one day I'll be the right person at the right time.

when the telephone rang
at six in the morning
four days before Christmas Eve
   I knew
things were not right

they told me
   my father had died
   at three in the morning
   and would I please come by
   arrange for the burial
   and collect his belongings
at the senior citizens home
where he had spent
the last four years
of his life

they had rested him nicely
he looked at peace
I kissed him on his forehead
   like I always had
   at the end of my visits
and cast a last long look at his figure
   before the body would be taken away

    and suddenly I noticed
       how big his hands were
    they’d never seemed so prominent before

as if in death they sent me a reminder
of how much he had loved his hands
   for work   for play  for sports
   for fight and for survival
   to point and to gesticulate
      they held me as a baby and
         some times
      slapped me as a child
   they repaired toys   split wood
   built sheds   drove cars and motor bikes
   were patient and precise
   caressed and soothed and loved

they were his life
they held his world

my father’s hands

"we're all just people with the same problems and different last names."

I will,
You just have to trust me.
One day, I will wake up and decide that it is my time,

To focus on me
And allow myself to be happy,
But right now, I need to feel this way.

I can't tell you that,
You wouldn't understand.
But feeling this is so much better

Than feeling nothing at all.
You just have to trust me,
I will.