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Aug 2015
it started early 2012 in the late afternoon
some girl told him she liked him he said 'i love you too'
i opened cutlery drawers trying to find a knife
and i spent the whole night wanting to end my life.
this went on for some months and then i lost my appetite
i couldnt stop the voices, what im thinking wasn't right.

but, two years on here i stand
wounds all healed but they still hurt, oh man...

you see there's some strength i found
think it belonged to someone else
i sat and drank it on my own
watching all the other girls
i felt it coursing through my veins but
everything, it felt the same
this numbness in the pain - i'm so tired of this game

but, two years on here i stand,
i'm still not 6 feet in the ground
my head it hurts but earlier on i found these great pills

you see i met this girl sometime you see her head it was a mess
and her body, so so small, it weighed a lot less
than my leg, my anything but she isn't here anymore
i'll read her little note, i've read it 16 times before

'simple things might be a chore, like breathing, showering and feeding,
but i simply don't have energy, and right now, i am bleeding.
depression comes with a knife but all i have is this spoon'
then she looked into the sky and whispered 'nana, i'll see you soon'

not much later mother walked in and there, she was found
and now she's sleeping happily, deep under the ground

this isn't right, for anyone
she should be out having fun
smiling, spinning in the sun
but, i guess, life isn't for everyone

i think im lucky, think God loves me
cause i thought that i would die,
told myself i wasn't worth it but that was a ******* lie

because three years on, here i stand
i love myself, i love me cause i can
i think you should love yourself too
with your pretty little eyes the shades of blue
your hands are shaking, mine are too
but please, hold on i promise you, that i will hold you,
help you as much as i can. but its a one-man battle and i can only pick up pieces
i need to call someone for help, God i hope someone can reach us
this i a song i wrote early last year and finished tonight and thought I'd upload it for you to read.
Lavina Akari
Written by
Lavina Akari
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