"I sit here stitching myself back together
Wondering if this time too, it'll break
or finally last forever."

"Your voice was a sweet lulluby, such a bittersweet goodbye."

Ghost Knight
Dressed in all white
Remnants of the twilight
Of the long fight

Fought in your head
With depression
Best served
In bed

Restless and blue
The stay of morose
Long overdue
Looking back on the dead versions
Of you

Day in and day out
This and that
With some doubt
As you try to muscle about

To stay afloat
On this rickety boat

"You the river, and me the canyon you cut through."

My thoughts always streamline
With the usual I'm fine

But I'm now merely a shell
So flawless you couldn't tell

That I'd rather give up on my soul
Than experience another hole

That'll welcome itself into my heart
Whispering
Til death do us part

I write these words from the heart
Bringing together what falls apart
In my inner nether
To the living, my words; the tether

I find the moments you aren't here, the absolute worst.

"My mind is chaos, burning rubble of my dead ambitions."

I just seem to have caught my flow
Here is all I know
That I'm caught up in the dust
Not blood in my lungs but rust
From my severe lack of trust
To obtain, you made a must
Now I pay for the cost
For all that was lost
Both in promise and fear
No wonder we ended up here
Lost in constant self doubt
You can't know love if you're always looking about

"It's a time of quiet,
when we would normally riot."

Stop acting like you're in a Broadway
So listen to what I have to say
That I know what and who you are
I learned that the first day
In the the passenger seat of your car
Stop trying to play the Angel in human skin
Obviously by how ****** you are you won't win
You need to find that you with something to give
I think it'll change your will to live
Stop trying to find people to compare
Like you do when you dye your hair
Thus begins the cycle all over
You truly represent my tattooed four leaf clover

Let me tell you I still love you
You as in the things you are and do
I sit and remenice
About how badly I didn't want this
But the irony for me is you went free
I try but in the end sitting alone with a cup of coffee
And for right now as I can see
I'm only capable about writing of you and me

I can barely think
Sleep isn't sleep
It's a blink

Tired isn't brief
Its permenent
Mixed with this grief

Death a better solice than living
Looking back on life
Which has apparently nothing worth giving

It's dying while living, just to say you're stronger now.

It's time to watch the old me die
Like, who the **** was that guy?
Dead in heart,
Constantly plagued with 'Why?'

It's time to shed this shell,
Stuck in my own personal hell.

With a new found inner spirituality
I'll personify peace,
Making it my reality.

Peace out,
Because I have no doubt
I'll be much better with you not about.

There's a void in my soul
That makes me bitter with no control
Not to anyone just to me
Disgusted in what I see

Not just what's outside of me
But everything I'm to be
Angered at every step I take
As if each second is wasted awake

I'd rather game til my eyes bleed
Or sleep like it's my only need

"Little does she know, loving her is all I know."

I can't just simply love
Simple words mean nothing appealing
When there is an absolute depth
To how I am really feeling

I love you like the first bloom in Spring
The singing of birds
The chatter of the bugs
I love you like picnic hugs

I love you like Summer's first heat
The blazing sun and a giant pool
The sweet repeat
The charcoal grill with searing meat

I love you like the first fallen leaf of Fall
You are the crunch of the leaves beneath my toes
You are the blanket
You are the first chill breeze that tickles my nose

I love you like the first Winter snowfall
Pure white, with footprint flaws
You are the snowflake upon my finger
Unique among them all, but here with me you've come to fall

To fall with you is what I'll do
I don't love in simplicity
I love in pictures and feelings
This is just a glimpse of what you mean to me

"I just hope you know, I didn't want to go."

"What's it like to experience love?"


"Hmmmm, Have you had Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans?"
.
.
.
.

"Oh."

"Dude I am out,
Of what was hell no doubt."

I'm wrapped up in my head
Through that forest fogged with dread
Congrats to my demons you won
I'm tired and numb

You've convinced me my fears are real
That I've lost and made a deal
Trapped in rewind
The same emotions are what I find

It's too good to be true
Now I wonder what to do
I'm angry and morose
Taking in depression like a drug overdose

I hate my own reflection
I'm always trying a new deflection
To pretend that I can't feel pain
In my forest, it begins to rain

I'll choose to die inside
I'll choke on my pride
***** what we call life
Next time, stab me with a real knife

You want me to be alone
No one on the phone
To hear me when I start to cry
Starting to think oh why oh why
Is it that I'm so sad and want to die
I don't need a bed I need a coffin in which to lie
What do I do in the silence of this
It's always someone I miss
That I so badly want to be with
Being alone is simply a myth
Anger then fills the void
Making my feelings what I avoid
I choke it down saying I'm better
Like I received a graduation letter
but I'm still alone
I panic as my thoughts roam
I can't even write a single poem
I think I'm losing, I think I have lost
My heart feels laced with frost
All I do is see my actions and feel the cost
Into the tomb of insecurities I get tossed
I can't I can't I won't I won't win
I just want to scream and give in
Because I'm not titanium, I am tin
Basically, just close the curtain, Fin.

Here I am again
With paper and a pen
To simply think back to when
We dove into the lions den
Why aren't we amongst the flowers
Helping ourselves grow and discover our powers
But we took on the embrace of being villain
Your thoughts got ahead of you but you were willin
To lie and manipulate
Which gave room for my anger to demonstrate
Where did all the good time go?
Honestly, we'll never know
So back to my poetry I turn to face
To write out all my anguish and disgrace

"I know why writers drink, to find peace to think"

Apparently I sat in the devil's lap
Simple and lame
But it was disguised in your name

Hell is simply forgetting what true love can feel like.

Nature hugs each step
Time warping through lush forest
Lost in Mother's abode

I hate you
Yes, yes I do
Through it all and in the end
I choose to hate you dear friend
I don't lie
Don't look me in the eye
Pay no mind to me
Its you I never want to see

Rip apart all our clothes
Letting it all go to our foes
To fight our own battles
The rocking and bed clatters
Hair in complete tatters
We'll just remind each other nothing matters
Just follow my eyes
No need for hello and goodbyes

All you do is cause commotions
And drink love potions
To no avail the calm seas
Are now storming oceans

Created by the consequence of your negative emotions

I've lost my way
I dont want to speak
I have nothing to say
It's all so bleak

The future I thought would be grand
Derailed, the opposite of what's planned
I'm in a plane but it's not manned
Diving towards my mental
No mans land

Where I bottle all my pain
Where I always return
Forced to remain
My heart will just burn

Forced to remember what I sought to forget
No way out
I'll just lay on my bed of regret
With these blankets of doubt

Sunset in my heart
But I'm the dying light
To come apart
And take flight

Into my dreams
Of a fake life
With gold streams
On a bronze knife

I'm a zombie
I'm a ghost
I'm dead to me
I'm not the Host

Life is but a game played by your personal ego.

My hearts under arrest
From things I detest
Barely able to find the word
Nothing to speak, nothing heard

Hell is real
It's all in my head
I struck a deal
With depression in bed

My feelings don't want to give
They don't want to take
They don't care to live
If it'll protect them from what's fake

I'm at a standstill, I've hit my wall
I remember it all
The pains of the past
That lead to my near curtain call

The problem you see
Is that it's all up to me

To leave the walls I so easily hopped in
To leave what is now my coffin

Ghost faces
A noose
Of shoe laces
My mind filled
With
Bad places
It just paces
Running circles
And losing races
My nerves fired
I'm lost among
My own
cold cases

"Would I be lying if I said no in bed?*"

A note to the wise
That a Demon's eyes
Whisper sweet lies
To devour you like frogs to flies

Glass Animals in my ears
More than ready to face fears
I can't let them whisper in my ears
My demon only nears
Each sip and drag a stimulation
To make everything a simulation
We have little in relation
Except in the act of creation

The way I talk about you to my friends
Goes to show I never wanted to break ends
I sit here with a smoke and possible nap
Wishing I could take it in your lap

"Tonight, I'll whisper to your ear, come closer my dear."

"Waiting for the day, you stop hunting men like prey."

"The bullet struck the Kevlar, then making it so useless."

"My inner madness is the therapist for my inner sadness."

"There's so much I have to say, but maybe another day"