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280 · Sep 2017
Sided
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"You the river, and me the canyon you cut through."
279 · Oct 2016
Motionless Emotion
Lauren Leal Oct 2016
For the first time I can't write
My mind is still, not willing to take flight
No emotions to express or show
So weighed down, no confidence to follow.
I'm trapped in a standstill
Of being nothing or having the will
Of once again writing with emotion.
but my heart is a desert and my mind is dead,
My pen still in my hand, remaining with no motion.
275 · May 2020
Numbed
Lauren Leal May 2020
I'm wrapped up in my head
Through that forest fogged with dread
Congrats to my demons you won
I'm tired and numb

You've convinced me my fears are real
That I've lost and made a deal
Trapped in rewind
The same emotions are what I find

It's too good to be true
Now I wonder what to do
I'm angry and morose
Taking in depression like a drug overdose

I hate my own reflection
I'm always trying a new deflection
To pretend that I can't feel pain
In my forest, it begins to rain

I'll choose to die inside
I'll choke on my pride
***** what we call life
Next time, stab me with a real knife
It's beginning to hurt because of what I see, to what I know.
274 · Jan 2018
Up and Up
Lauren Leal Jan 2018
It's time to watch the old me die
Like, who the **** was that guy?
Dead in heart,
Constantly plagued with 'Why?'

It's time to shed this shell,
Stuck in my own personal hell.

With a new found inner spirituality
I'll personify peace,
Making it my reality.

Peace out,
Because I have no doubt
I'll be much better with you not about.
Self reflection leads to growth. Never turn down your feelings, there the only natural thing left...
274 · Jun 2015
Exchange
Lauren Leal Jun 2015
Sometimes,
I wonder.
If I am,
noticed.
If I'm just,
another spec,
out of
focus.
I feel like,
I wander,
alone.
Simply moving,
forever
on my own.
Since nothing
seems to
change.
Life and Death
Will do
Their
Exchange.
Memories of an old friend came to mind, whom I wish I could have saved.
273 · Jun 2015
Love:
Lauren Leal Jun 2015
The only feeling that is literally a heaven and hell.
271 · Jul 2015
Stuck in Limbo
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
My heart tried to write something happy
My brain trashed it as fallacy
269 · Jun 2019
Life,
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
It's dying while living, just to say you're stronger now.
We all suffer. We all have our Demons.
268 · Jul 2015
Not to Be Done Alone
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
Love is a poison.
              But if used in unison, each other is the cure.
263 · Sep 2017
Caught in Thought
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
I just seem to have caught my flow
Here is all I know
That I'm caught up in the dust
Not blood in my lungs but rust
From my severe lack of trust
To obtain, you made a must
Now I pay for the cost
For all that was lost
Both in promise and fear
No wonder we ended up here
Lost in constant self doubt
You can't know love if you're always looking about
262 · Dec 2015
Essence of Time (10W)
Lauren Leal Dec 2015
Time is of no essence for two that are unstoppable.
262 · Dec 2015
People (10w)
Lauren Leal Dec 2015
"I hate everyone, you just have to prove yourself otherwise."
Reality
262 · Sep 2017
Not a Loss
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"It's a time of quiet,
when we would normally riot."
261 · Jul 2015
The Feeling
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
Love is the finest and most dangerous double edged sword.
259 · Oct 2017
My Heart
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
I write these words from the heart
Bringing together what falls apart
In my inner nether
To the living, my words; the tether
259 · Oct 2017
Flames
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
"My mind is chaos, burning rubble of my dead ambitions."
258 · Sep 2017
The Past and Today
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
Let me tell you I still love you
You as in the things you are and do
I sit and remenice
About how badly I didn't want this
But the irony for me is you went free
I try but in the end sitting alone with a cup of coffee
And for right now as I can see
I'm only capable about writing of you and me
258 · Jun 2015
Love (10w)
Lauren Leal Jun 2015
The most Horrifically Dangerous yet absolutely Wonderful feeling ever experienced.
Love
Despite it all, I could never turn it down.
256 · Sep 2017
Bottles
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"I know why writers drink, to find peace to think"
253 · Jun 2019
Hell in Love (10w)
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
Hell is simply forgetting what true love can feel like.
Express to decompress.
252 · Sep 2017
Alone
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
You want me to be alone
No one on the phone
To hear me when I start to cry
Starting to think oh why oh why
Is it that I'm so sad and want to die
I don't need a bed I need a coffin in which to lie
What do I do in the silence of this
It's always someone I miss
That I so badly want to be with
Being alone is simply a myth
Anger then fills the void
Making my feelings what I avoid
I choke it down saying I'm better
Like I received a graduation letter
but I'm still alone
I panic as my thoughts roam
I can't even write a single poem
I think I'm losing, I think I have lost
My heart feels laced with frost
All I do is see my actions and feel the cost
Into the tomb of insecurities I get tossed
I can't I can't I won't I won't win
I just want to scream and give in
Because I'm not titanium, I am tin
Basically, just close the curtain, Fin.
From anothers eyes.
252 · Dec 2015
Vacant (10W)
Lauren Leal Dec 2015
I find the moments you aren't here, the absolute worst.
251 · Sep 2017
Return to Start
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
Here I am again
With paper and a pen
To simply think back to when
We dove into the lions den
Why aren't we amongst the flowers
Helping ourselves grow and discover our powers
But we took on the embrace of being villain
Your thoughts got ahead of you but you were willin
To lie and manipulate
Which gave room for my anger to demonstrate
Where did all the good time go?
Honestly, we'll never know
So back to my poetry I turn to face
To write out all my anguish and disgrace
246 · Jun 2019
Ego (10w)
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
Life is but a game played by your personal ego.
245 · Jun 2019
Nose Dive
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
I've lost my way
I dont want to speak
I have nothing to say
It's all so bleak

The future I thought would be grand
Derailed, the opposite of what's planned
I'm in a plane but it's not manned
Diving towards my mental
No mans land

Where I bottle all my pain
Where I always return
Forced to remain
My heart will just burn

Forced to remember what I sought to forget
No way out
I'll just lay on my bed of regret
With these blankets of doubt
Repetition. It's the same cycle, evertime.
241 · Apr 2020
Arrested
Lauren Leal Apr 2020
My hearts under arrest
From things I detest
Barely able to find the word
Nothing to speak, nothing heard

Hell is real
It's all in my head
I struck a deal
With depression in bed

My feelings don't want to give
They don't want to take
They don't care to live
If it'll protect them from what's fake

I'm at a standstill, I've hit my wall
I remember it all
The pains of the past
That lead to my near curtain call

The problem you see
Is that it's all up to me

To leave the walls I so easily hopped in
To leave what is now my coffin
Expression for decompression.
239 · Jul 2015
I Think
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
Insanity is saying "I'm okay" and expecting them to notice.
235 · Sep 2017
Love and Miss
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"Little does she know, loving her is all I know."
235 · Sep 2019
Headspace
Lauren Leal Sep 2019
Ghost faces
A noose
Of shoe laces
My mind filled
With
Bad places
It just paces
Running circles
And losing races
My nerves fired
I'm lost among
My own
cold cases
234 · Sep 2017
Left
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"I just hope you know, I didn't want to go."
233 · Sep 2017
The Last Step
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
Rip apart all our clothes
Letting it all go to our foes
To fight our own battles
The rocking and bed clatters
Hair in complete tatters
We'll just remind each other nothing matters
Just follow my eyes
No need for hello and goodbyes
232 · Sep 2017
I'm Out
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"Dude I am out,
Of what was hell no doubt."
230 · Sep 2017
Perished Nap
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
Apparently I sat in the devil's lap
Simple and lame
But it was disguised in your name
225 · Jun 2015
No True Answer
Lauren Leal Jun 2015
"What's it like to experience love?"


"Hmmmm, Have you had Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans?"
.
.
.
.

"Oh."
A actual conversation I had a long time ago.
225 · Oct 2017
No
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
No
I hate you
Yes, yes I do
Through it all and in the end
I choose to hate you dear friend
I don't lie
Don't look me in the eye
Pay no mind to me
Its you I never want to see
223 · Sep 2017
Bed and an Ex
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"Would I be lying if I said no in bed?*"
221 · Oct 2017
You or That
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
All you do is cause commotions
And drink love potions
To no avail the calm seas
Are now storming oceans

Created by the consequence of your negative emotions
216 · Oct 2017
Walk Among Nature (Haiku)
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
Nature hugs each step
Time warping through lush forest
Lost in Mother's abode
214 · Jul 2015
Over the Edge
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
I'm just really disappointed,
      I actually thought you were going to change for the better.
             I only created another demon it seems.
214 · Jun 2019
Heart Failure
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
I used to say
My heart had holes
And
Was bruised and beaten
But
Now I find
Someone else's Demons
Had it eaten

So I just dont have one
Now I know
Why I'm just
Done
Expression for decompression
213 · Sep 2017
The Indie in Me
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
Glass Animals in my ears
More than ready to face fears
I can't let them whisper in my ears
My demon only nears
Each sip and drag a stimulation
To make everything a simulation
We have little in relation
Except in the act of creation
210 · Jul 2015
I Don't Understand
Lauren Leal Jul 2015
Why does my heart run from the people that notice?
210 · Sep 2017
Sleepy Times
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
The way I talk about you to my friends
Goes to show I never wanted to break ends
I sit here with a smoke and possible nap
Wishing I could take it in your lap
210 · Jun 2019
Of Stone
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
My feelings have turned to stone
I'd rather say **** it
And live to die alone

Saying I'd never love anymore
As if I have a say
Or ability to shut that door

But I do know that its painful
To let them in
Only to be stabbed by a knife that's dull

Feelings of stone
Won't even date
At this point I'm convinced
Its Fate
210 · Sep 2017
Prey
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
"Waiting for the day, you stop hunting men like prey."
209 · Apr 2020
Heavy Heart
Lauren Leal Apr 2020
I have fear in my heart
Of being torn apart
Or watching the past
Come to pass

I know I've done well
to cope with my loss
with my patience to sell
With no anger, not cross

I fear I won't be understood
I fear you truly aren't that good
I fear what I've seen hide beneath
A devil with gnarled teeth

My heart has been bruised and burned
I feel like I always learned
Only to find it all again
Now that I'm here,
It's a matter of when

I'm full of the anticipation of failure
That I won't be the best for her
and the pattern will show it's face
With my heart being put in it's place

I know I must learn to give
I know it's the only way to live
But
This fear drives me insane
Thinking of the pain, from my own brain

Clawing the back of my mind
A deadly poison making me blind
I'm lost in an unknown sense of feeling
But I can't see the hands I'm dealing

I need to be understood
Help me if you would
For this fear is a truth so bold
and
These outcomes of my life are getting old
Expression for decompression
208 · Sep 2017
Remberence
Lauren Leal Sep 2017
I remember how this feels
All of myself simply kneels
To recover from lost time
That's why I write in rhyme
Such a cliche write
But I will do what is right
It's time to focus one me
Hmm what to be
Should I just party
Or go to college and be tardy
Hungover from a night of words
Not to sing, chose the birds
I'll pick myself up from the dirt
Or this will just continue to hurt
205 · Jun 2019
Downward
Lauren Leal Jun 2019
I'm falling deep down
To the place where
No ones around
It's just yourself and you

A staring contest of
What the **** do I do
To help me out
Of this repetitious cycle
Of raging self doubt
205 · Oct 2017
No Saint
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
A note to the wise
That a Demon's eyes
Whisper sweet lies
To devour you like frogs to flies
204 · Oct 2017
Hooked
Lauren Leal Oct 2017
"My inner madness is the therapist for my inner sadness."
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