There's a void in my soul
That makes me bitter with no control
Not to anyone just to me
Disgusted in what I see

Not just what's outside of me
But everything I'm to be
Angered at every step I take
As if each second is wasted awake

I'd rather game til my eyes bleed
Or sleep like it's my only need

I can barely think
Sleep isn't sleep
It's a blink

Tired isn't brief
Its permenent
Mixed with this grief

Death a better solice than living
Looking back on life
Which has apparently nothing worth giving

The only feeling that is literally a heaven and hell.

It's time to watch the old me die
Like, who the **** was that guy?
Dead in heart,
Constantly plagued with 'Why?'

It's time to shed this shell,
Stuck in my own personal hell.

With a new found inner spirituality
I'll personify peace,
Making it my reality.

Peace out,
Because I have no doubt
I'll be much better with you not about.

It's dying while living, just to say you're stronger now.

My heart tried to write something happy
My brain trashed it as fallacy

"I hate everyone, you just have to prove yourself otherwise."

I just seem to have caught my flow
Here is all I know
That I'm caught up in the dust
Not blood in my lungs but rust
From my severe lack of trust
To obtain, you made a must
Now I pay for the cost
For all that was lost
Both in promise and fear
No wonder we ended up here
Lost in constant self doubt
You can't know love if you're always looking about

"It's a time of quiet,
when we would normally riot."

"My mind is chaos, burning rubble of my dead ambitions."

Time is of no essence for two that are unstoppable.

I write these words from the heart
Bringing together what falls apart
In my inner nether
To the living, my words; the tether

The most Horrifically Dangerous yet absolutely Wonderful feeling ever experienced.

Let me tell you I still love you
You as in the things you are and do
I sit and remenice
About how badly I didn't want this
But the irony for me is you went free
I try but in the end sitting alone with a cup of coffee
And for right now as I can see
I'm only capable about writing of you and me

"I know why writers drink, to find peace to think"

You want me to be alone
No one on the phone
To hear me when I start to cry
Starting to think oh why oh why
Is it that I'm so sad and want to die
I don't need a bed I need a coffin in which to lie
What do I do in the silence of this
It's always someone I miss
That I so badly want to be with
Being alone is simply a myth
Anger then fills the void
Making my feelings what I avoid
I choke it down saying I'm better
Like I received a graduation letter
but I'm still alone
I panic as my thoughts roam
I can't even write a single poem
I think I'm losing, I think I have lost
My heart feels laced with frost
All I do is see my actions and feel the cost
Into the tomb of insecurities I get tossed
I can't I can't I won't I won't win
I just want to scream and give in
Because I'm not titanium, I am tin
Basically, just close the curtain, Fin.

Hell is simply forgetting what true love can feel like.

Here I am again
With paper and a pen
To simply think back to when
We dove into the lions den
Why aren't we amongst the flowers
Helping ourselves grow and discover our powers
But we took on the embrace of being villain
Your thoughts got ahead of you but you were willin
To lie and manipulate
Which gave room for my anger to demonstrate
Where did all the good time go?
Honestly, we'll never know
So back to my poetry I turn to face
To write out all my anguish and disgrace

I find the moments you aren't here, the absolute worst.

My hearts under arrest
From things I detest
Barely able to find the word
Nothing to speak, nothing heard

Hell is real
It's all in my head
I struck a deal
With depression in bed

My feelings don't want to give
They don't want to take
They don't care to live
If it'll protect them from what's fake

I'm at a standstill, I've hit my wall
I remember it all
The pains of the past
That lead to my near curtain call

The problem you see
Is that it's all up to me

To leave the walls I so easily hopped in
To leave what is now my coffin

I've lost my way
I dont want to speak
I have nothing to say
It's all so bleak

The future I thought would be grand
Derailed, the opposite of what's planned
I'm in a plane but it's not manned
Diving towards my mental
No mans land

Where I bottle all my pain
Where I always return
Forced to remain
My heart will just burn

Forced to remember what I sought to forget
No way out
I'll just lay on my bed of regret
With these blankets of doubt

Life is but a game played by your personal ego.

"I just hope you know, I didn't want to go."

Ghost faces
A noose
Of shoe laces
My mind filled
With
Bad places
It just paces
Running circles
And losing races
My nerves fired
I'm lost among
My own
cold cases

"Little does she know, loving her is all I know."

"Dude I am out,
Of what was hell no doubt."

Rip apart all our clothes
Letting it all go to our foes
To fight our own battles
The rocking and bed clatters
Hair in complete tatters
We'll just remind each other nothing matters
Just follow my eyes
No need for hello and goodbyes

Apparently I sat in the devil's lap
Simple and lame
But it was disguised in your name

I hate you
Yes, yes I do
Through it all and in the end
I choose to hate you dear friend
I don't lie
Don't look me in the eye
Pay no mind to me
Its you I never want to see

"Would I be lying if I said no in bed?*"

"What's it like to experience love?"


"Hmmmm, Have you had Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans?"
.
.
.
.

"Oh."

Nature hugs each step
Time warping through lush forest
Lost in Mother's abode

All you do is cause commotions
And drink love potions
To no avail the calm seas
Are now storming oceans

Created by the consequence of your negative emotions

I used to say
My heart had holes
And
Was bruised and beaten
But
Now I find
Someone else's Demons
Had it eaten

So I just dont have one
Now I know
Why I'm just
Done

The way I talk about you to my friends
Goes to show I never wanted to break ends
I sit here with a smoke and possible nap
Wishing I could take it in your lap

I'm falling deep down
To the place where
No ones around
It's just yourself and you

A staring contest of
What the **** do I do
To help me out
Of this repetitious cycle
Of raging self doubt

Glass Animals in my ears
More than ready to face fears
I can't let them whisper in my ears
My demon only nears
Each sip and drag a stimulation
To make everything a simulation
We have little in relation
Except in the act of creation

I remember how this feels
All of myself simply kneels
To recover from lost time
That's why I write in rhyme
Such a cliche write
But I will do what is right
It's time to focus one me
Hmm what to be
Should I just party
Or go to college and be tardy
Hungover from a night of words
Not to sing, chose the birds
I'll pick myself up from the dirt
Or this will just continue to hurt

My feelings have turned to stone
I'd rather say **** it
And live to die alone

Saying I'd never love anymore
As if I have a say
Or ability to shut that door

But I do know that its painful
To let them in
Only to be stabbed by a knife that's dull

Feelings of stone
Won't even date
At this point I'm convinced
Its Fate

"Waiting for the day, you stop hunting men like prey."

I have fear in my heart
Of being torn apart
Or watching the past
Come to pass

I know I've done well
to cope with my loss
with my patience to sell
With no anger, not cross

I fear I won't be understood
I fear you truly aren't that good
I fear what I've seen hide beneath
A devil with gnarled teeth

My heart has been bruised and burned
I feel like I always learned
Only to find it all again
Now that I'm here,
It's a matter of when

I'm full of the anticipation of failure
That I won't be the best for her
and the pattern will show it's face
With my heart being put in it's place

I know I must learn to give
I know it's the only way to live
But
This fear drives me insane
Thinking of the pain, from my own brain

Clawing the back of my mind
A deadly poison making me blind
I'm lost in an unknown sense of feeling
But I can't see the hands I'm dealing

I need to be understood
Help me if you would
For this fear is a truth so bold
and
These outcomes of my life are getting old

"The bullet struck the Kevlar, then making it so useless."

A note to the wise
That a Demon's eyes
Whisper sweet lies
To devour you like frogs to flies