I'd rather you hate me
and move on dear

Than love me
and be stuck, I fear

I remember how this feels
All of myself simply kneels
To recover from lost time
That's why I write in rhyme
Such a cliche write
But I will do what is right
It's time to focus one me
Hmm what to be
Should I just party
Or go to college and be tardy
Hungover from a night of words
Not to sing, chose the birds
I'll pick myself up from the dirt
Or this will just continue to hurt

Let's just **** it out in the end
But let's be real you're just a friend
Over the end of a pickup truck
So I sit here and write to pickup luck
With hair like that it was a match I struck
Get down to luck and a quick ****
We'll find that reason soon
That stole my moon
So I'll sit here and attempt move along
Or ponder the next color of your thong
But we'll skip the details like we did before
Hence why the **** I wanted to close the door

"I find myself happy and free
Oh how life can be
But why not with you and me
Is there something we didn't see"

Let's sip this bottle dear
I'll listen to you and hear
Let's be real no relationship is near
I think that is simply clear
You are young and love to lie
That's why when you're alone you cry
Because Karma in the form of guilt
Makes you wither and wilt
At this point I want to see what you become
Do you grow or simply succumb
To the dead ambitions of your past life
You still brandish the knife
That gave you control in the first place
Confidence in black lace
But all you do with that knife is ****
Both you and the person you're looking in the eyes
But you cover it up, It's against my will
And you wonder why your inner woman dies

I used to say
My heart had holes
And
Was bruised and beaten
But
Now I find
Someone else's Demons
Had it eaten

So I just dont have one
Now I know
Why I'm just
Done

My friends passed out
And I have no doubt
That we'll see worse in you
In the things you do
Because that hammer will always hit your thumb
Saying you're young and dumb

"You were the castle, and I fell in the moat."

I have fear in my heart
Of being torn apart
Or watching the past
Come to pass

I know I've done well
to cope with my loss
with my patience to sell
With no anger, not cross

I fear I won't be understood
I fear you truly aren't that good
I fear what I've seen hide beneath
A devil with gnarled teeth

My heart has been bruised and burned
I feel like I always learned
Only to find it all again
Now that I'm here,
It's a matter of when

I'm full of the anticipation of failure
That I won't be the best for her
and the pattern will show it's face
With my heart being put in it's place

I know I must learn to give
I know it's the only way to live
But
This fear drives me insane
Thinking of the pain, from my own brain

Clawing the back of my mind
A deadly poison making me blind
I'm lost in an unknown sense of feeling
But I can't see the hands I'm dealing

I need to be understood
Help me if you would
For this fear is a truth so bold
and
These outcomes of my life are getting old

My feelings have turned to stone
I'd rather say **** it
And live to die alone

Saying I'd never love anymore
As if I have a say
Or ability to shut that door

But I do know that its painful
To let them in
Only to be stabbed by a knife that's dull

Feelings of stone
Won't even date
At this point I'm convinced
Its Fate

I'm falling deep down
To the place where
No ones around
It's just yourself and you

A staring contest of
What the **** do I do
To help me out
Of this repetitious cycle
Of raging self doubt

"Let me smoke another cigarette, while I remember to forget."

"I weaned off your poison, to just start smoking cigarettes."

My feelings are lackluster
Sadness and Anger only show for muster
Happiness and Love never show
Down
Down
Down
It's the only way to go

With how hard I feel, my heart is lead
In a pool of water where I can drown
But rest my head
Only knowing how to frown
Going
Down
Down
Dow...

Write like you learned something new
Write like you've learned who
Inside you that has the answer
No it's not in him or her
Use your words to find light
Not to lay waste to a effortless fight
Use your words, black ink on white
To learn about others and yourself and take flight
Don't let your own words become your enemy
Because then your heart looks at you
Saying to stop hurting you and me

"You could be telling the truth, but I can't believe."

Two bottles of wine
Disguised by dude I feel fine
No I don't because my love I left behind
Mistreated and accused
Physically and verbally abused
I know I'm to accuse
I'll never ask for more than you to understand
That sometimes I'm just a man
At a young age saw fear as manipulation
Which created such internal complication
My father's hand at my throat like a knife
Always and fearlessly threatening my life
If only people could see the path I've walked to do
They'd gain the understanding of what I've also been through

Boy do I just have a lot to say
Today isn't really a great day
One day since the third worst pain
Why do I feel I got nothing to gain
I simply have all the word
That someone already heard
I wish you'd have seen the choices you made
As I watched that glow fade
Into oblivion
You in pieces I could not catch
The chances one in a million

"A rubber band he avoids, top a bunch of polaroids."

I will always know your skin
And who you are within
I'll always know that look
But I read you like a book
Caving to your desire
Inside you're just a flier
I'll toss you about
But you love self doubt
You always smiled in bed
But never in your head

Solitude is a one man show
The one so personal
Only you'll know
Whether it's a blessing or a curse in all

You must learn to love the empty space
Take your time it's not a race
Learn to love yourself and the pace
Let yourself feel and embrace

You find yourself a Jester to your own game
Abandonment, Disgrace, Destructive
Branded to your own name
Learn to grow from what they can give

Letting these thoughts rule who you are
Brings out a you that feels so far
Hiding behind a painted mask
With a smile that doesn't last

Yet you are able to recognize
That these feelings are a bed of lies
Where the bad one stays
and the good one dies

Self-Reflection is how you grow
Learn to see the bad
and you'll definitely know
There's plenty of room for greatness to be had

Just know I'll always be here
To push you
To pull you
In the right direction dear  
  
So have patience in me
and I'll have patience in you
I just can't wait
To see what you do

Let's just consider this farewell
For a time while our demons find a place to dwell
We're gonna need a lot of time as I can tell
But don't weep and cry be happy and swell
Let the pain come and go
But don't let it cloud what you know
For now it's time to walk a separate path
Time to go, to soak in a quiet bath

I'd start that the thighs
While locked on to your eyes
One less thing to think about
You've got no reason to pout
We'll work all our feelings out
Like a joust just a simple bout
Let's snort this Lust
Because it's a must
No need for clothes
It's all trust
Despite the bad that we just
But why not
I don't think we forgot
How to sate our desire
We'll dance on our funeral pyre
Let's just hope that one isn't a liar

"In this time of sadness, I imagine that white dress."

My my how my words show
Just like this alcohol flow
Fluid and without beat
But I need to take a seat
Why do I look at my feet
Not to cry but drinking liquor neat
I dont look back and get sad
I get so frustrated, no not mad
I feel like nothing was really taught
And all the times we chose to fought
Felt like such fake effort to please
Though captivated you actually brought me to my knees
In the actual end
With nothing to mend
I'm just simply disappointed
Because my heart gave you love
You shouldn't have been appointed
But **** it we and fun right?
I don't know, goodnight

Is this safe is this alright?
Trust me I won't put up a fight
Then turn down the light
We'll try to find each other all night
Fingers making traces
As we keep making faces
About the task at hand
Worn out like the crowd of a metal band
Liquid lust streams down your nose
Right past those eyes that say where this goes
I have no reason to fight
Just excuse the occasional grasp or bite
Again and again we continue to find
What we know in mind
So why not cave and settle the score
Let's leave knowing we'll only want more
Let imagination take lead
I'll show you how to feed
That side that always thinks it's in need

Laced two face
Pray for grace
Skin of a snake
You're so fake

Liar on the throne
All alone
Suicidal threats
Easy to condone

Far from peace
Welcome yourself
To the land
Of the desease