And when ever I reach down everything is OK.
A jingle of my keys, pocket change.
And there you are.
I'd have a heart attack if I were to reach down and you weren't there.
I don't know what I'd do.
Back tracking every step. Doubling back every where I've been.
Pacing my breath in attempt not to panic
I know it's an unhealthy dependency but face it.
You are a part of my everyday walkabout.
Whether it's something that I need to know or randomly bored.
You always put a smile on my face.
Although some news I'd rather not know. You tell me in a way that I'll understand and I appreciate that.
Searching for a smile pure and humble.
A small print made large. Easier on the eyes.
You teach me things that I'd never think to look for.
Random searches that tie into the things I don't know that I need.
Me sitting in front of you face to face.
Our conversations spanning for hours at a time.
I know at times you need to recharge your batteries and I try to let you be.
But even when your sleep you don't mind waking up and keeping me company.
Even if it's just a second

You are my favorite song on the album of life.
I am sure others will agree.
Inside I drown in an ocean.
A boy peering into the kaleidoscope of a crush.
A beautiful voice, the progression of how far you've come.
Me appearing to see you in concert.
People don't appreciate you.
Rather comparing you to someone else.
It's exciting to see you covered in bright lights.
That nervous jitter you get.
A star crossing what's left of my life.
My faith in good music restored.
What ever the song I don't want it to end.
I love the way you say love.
The chill felt as you walk pass.
Hunty you never let me down.
The instrumental of your voice.
Even on bad days I listen to your song the most.
God bless you for taking the time out

Do you truly know what it's like to dream with your eyes open?
To confess that you don't know why you dream the way you do.
The need to miss as much as you do.
Missing the reality of the things that make most happy.
Catching yourself in the beauty that goes unseen.
Everything that goes unseen.
The light that twinkles in the melanin.
Quiet spheres that guard us from what we fear most.
Legit watching you the way you watch them.
Bowing in your essence while you share in their regal.
The way your shoulders slide into a dress made in their likeness.
The rest of the world goes on

Eyes do speak.
It's funny how they perceive the things around.
The broken conversations heard by fully complexed ears.
I believed that I'd be ok.
The conclusions that eyes draw.
Never making sense of the words heard.
I believed it to be my biggest mistake.
Falling for the beautiful images seen.
Following sight, my first love.
Pain is often beautiful, layered one color after another.
The stories that unfold given enough time.
The initial cause and effect, forgetting the love immortalized before anything
was ever heard.
The intimacy that eyes will only understand/
Speak to me and I'll fully understand.
She'd never been in love.
I gazed intensely
Still I pursued

If there is one anything that I could ask you to promise it is this.
Promise me that you will never stop looking.
Explore what ever fascination that excites you most.
Search deep within yourself and explore your hearts imagination.
There is no right thing that makes it wrong or come crashing down.
All the possibilities are endless
Your happiness, your dreams.
I guarantee on your way that you will find a bunch of things that will make your body melt in anticipation.
That out of the blue feeling that makes your heart race for no reason.
That is love, that is life.
That is the vein that stems from all that thrives from your hearts imagination

I wish you could- live in my mind.
I mean in alot of ways you already do- live in my mind.

In my mind you are the calm before and during the storm.
You are appreciated over & over again.
You are dreamed over & cherished without worry.
In my mind you are the relief to every ache, every crevice that dares scream of pain.
Your touch, your feel is one that screams I need more.
And once that touch is satisfied I'll still have that urge.
The urge to reach out and grab you.
In my mind you are the reason I close my eyes.
Squinting tight picturing you there always.
A grin curved on your lips.
In my mind you are always and forever wrapped tight in my arms, my warm sufficing the need for blanket.
My nose tucked in the side of your neck.
My hand layed across your stomach and our toes relaxed without a single thing to do.
Lost in the current of sheets and pillows.
In my mind you are the ocean serene & calm.
The sky your favorite color purple.
The observation of everywhere we are is a dream away.
And you remain always in my mind

And there I sat at the table without a thing to eat.
We often take the sweetest and most precious things life has to offer for granted.
The thought persisted.
Of all things I decided to bake a pie.
All things considered I brought apples, pie crust and a pan.
Each apple individually sliced and coated in brown sugar.
Each individual time I thought of her smile and how she's made me laugh.
The oven intensified.
Preheated by how delectable and sweet she really is.
Although cook books were there I put ultimate trust in my ability from memory.
The places we've been, the things we've shared.
All the perfect recipe of how precious life truly is.
Our taste buds craved more.
Crumb covered mouths yet to be wiped clean.
To further elevate all the sweet moments life has to offer.
Our bodies like crust that hold these precious moments.
Preserved with slice after slice.
Rather than give pieces of ourself to satisfy the moment.
We give wholeheartedly.
Now I am full.
Finding the meaning of life