i have an image in my mind and its of your lips,
reflecting every window in this room
and the sweetest color pink is filling my frame
and my god i promise you, i promise that i love you
and everything that you haphhazardly ruin
and i dont need to tell you
i never did

but it will sit in my lap until you come home
and those pink lips are on the inside of my thighs
and eventually my red angel bows will be kissing you back
OH HOW I MISSED YOU!
and my nails will dig into your back
and our tongues will taste like cherry cough drops and vaseline eyes dripping along with our clothes
we will make love
we will fall in love even though the timing might be off
it’s okay
so will our clothes

and when we have to say goodbye the morning after
we will sigh and say until ‘until next time’
until next time when i see you in another country
and you’ll plant your lips in another nape of my neck and i’ll itch at my scabs until they bleed and we’ll both admire the scuffs on our knees because bowing down to eachother has never felt so right

and when we met, i knew.

i wanted to say
   ‘i have finally, finally found you’

nothing sweeter than a kiss on the cheek
on the eve of the night you decided to leave
its been two years now, isn’t that beautiful
isn’t that beautiful to see how
we’ve grown into little beings
who cry every once and a while
well i wake up in the middle of the night
and the neighbor is hammering, its alright
he’s not the one who peeked in on us
making love for the first time
panting like poets who forgot how to rhyme
it was the first and now its my last
you are my future my present and my god,
my past

like a walk of shame
except i'm beautiful and proud
and the fall weather got here last night
unpacked it's bags but forgot to paint the leaves
and i'm walking and there's nothing shameful about anything i did
and alleyways look beautiful too
in their own way
and i'll skip breakfast because i'm still drunk
and i'm still in love
and my shadow looks a bit taller than i do
i left my underwear behind
lace crumbled in the floor
REMEMBER ME
i stole somebody's mcdonald's
and ate it in the street corner
did i leave my cardigan at yours?
see you tomorrow
making latte art hungover in some beautiful knock off paris store
and i asked you, politely, to leave the mess outside
and you never saw that butterfly temporary tattoo on my chest
everything is temporary
because you didn't even bother to get me undressed
but you left your mark on my neck
thanks for that
just know you're not the only one who i made eyes with last night
i kissed a few on the lips
you aren't the only boy who fancied in my *** perfume
at least you walked me home
it was five am but at least you walked me home
and your dorm room wasn't big enough for how wide my legs were but this dress was tight and you bruised my thigh
or that might've been the other boy who threw me into the dark corner and i fell to the floor as he fell into me
but my hair is long enough to cover this hickey
and i'll take a sip of your coke and whiskey
i listen to that boys song and laugh on my way to work
and the shins are playing in starbucks
and i wouldn't mind if just for a second
i could pretend to die

this is a room you haven't slept in yet,

and this skin has grown since i last saw you-
replaced itself

and the distant, but warm
blood that you tasted on my cheek the last time you kissed it
has since made its way through each vein and left-
replaced itself

and the smell of my shoulder,
gently rested beneath your chin
i've since changed my laundry detergent

and i've stitched the holes in my jacket
your finger used to trace each one
but i replaced each fray with new thread-
and i sleep with new dreams clouding my head

and my framed portrait of you fell to the floor
i replaced the glass, the image

but i still find you in laundry detergent and broken glass,
sleepless nights, skin cells mixed with blood

i tried
but god ******
i cannot replace you

you'll leave in a few days-
you’ll do it without saying goodbye
and i’ll remember that portrait of you when you were 5
you have the same ******* look in your eyes

gracefully breaking hearts is where you find your art
i’m glad i stirred up some lyrics in you
sing to girls who beg to know
but ****, i at least deserve to watch you go

they tell me to drive north
i’ll spend every last dollar on a tank of gas
but i made the mistake of telling you
when i should have asked

instead burn your letter and finally settle
and when you board that eight hour train through the sky
i hope you think of me,
and how it hurt too much to say goodbye

after a drunken fifteen minute walk home
you discovered me in my bed
like dinosaur bones
dusted off the feathers and white house paint
we made love after two years
‘my god you’re a saint’
you tasted and felt as good as i’ve dreamed
your name on my breath,
you ripped all of my seams
morning light and we talked about being sad
put my hair behind my ear,
'sometimes loneliness isn’t that bad'
i don’t know if it will happen again
but i’m not ready to let our sweet rendezvous end