I discarded my heart in the dirt
Buried with my pain and hurt
Follow my idol the punk Kurt

If I had know that I was going to write a poem about you I wouldn't have
If I known I would fall in love with you
I would have never met you
And if I had known how much I would hurt
I would have already been dead

But that's not the way that it works, is it?
We are to find love
Find pain
And everything that goes with
But I never wanted this I never wanted to feel
I hated it so much
You hated me so much
But I can't do much about it now,
Can I?

If I had know
I would never had felt this way
I would have never had my heart leap
And jump out of my chest
If I had known
So much would be different
And you would be long gone

you stopped the bleeding-
the pulsative nature of my heart

you cut the veins and tied them into knots
a gallon of morphine -
never enough

You made rose gardens out of marrow
and comedy shows out of love

you stopped the bleeding
I stopped the beating
we got even
and lost it all.

when my feelings
cheat on me

and travel me
to a painful past...

I stop,
strong closed eyes

breathe...
and then move on

as a kid
there's nothing
like wasting away inside a tiny
room
sitting on the backrest
of the couch
looking out the window
and seeing her
tread through the rain

a red umbrella covers
her.

Mother

she's going back
to the liquor store