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Aesthete Flower Aug 2017
Let's face it, we just aren't meant to be, It's my fault. You are fire and I am water.

You burn brightly. You are energetic, fierce, strong, and warm. You could do anything. You're passionate, a little hot-headed at times, occassionally a bit dangerous, but you can love like no one else.

I am calming. I go with the flow. I'm cool, but not in a good way. My heart is cold. I crash into everything like waves. I engulf things. Anyone that meets me ends up changed for the worse. I am the ocean during a storm. I don't want your fire to be extinguished by my water. So I am letting you go. Get out, before you drown.
Aesthete Flower Aug 2017
God I loved his eyes. They held the whole ocean. When he was happy, they were a clear, radiant blue. They were usually slightly crinkled around the corners as he laughed or smiled, with no trace of a storm.

But when he was angry? Oh, that was a completely different matter. They were gray, murky, and blazing with rage. Those eyes could burn a whole in your heart.

When he was sad? They turned icy, cold, totally unlike him. There were a few clouds, but mostly just ice. This hurt me the most.

The day he left, they were an odd mix of the three. Those eyes swallowed me whole and I'm still trying to get out of them.
Aesthete Flower Sep 2016
It's strange how a few short seconds can lead you in a whole new direction,
It alters how you think and act and see your own reflection.
From a single moment on, my life was forever changed,
Like everything I previously knew had suddenly been rearranged.

No one will ever understand just how I felt that day,
But deep within this poem I shall try to convey.
I cannot even begin to illustrate the repulsive person I once knew.
I intend to simply express the horror that I went through.

I was abruptly pinned against the wall of a hard, rough concrete stairwell,
At two AM, in Hempstead, where not a soul was likely to dwell.
Suddenly I was captured, no possible way to escape.
Wondering if I deserved it, if it was truly my fate.

I tried to fly away, but my wings he had broke.
I was like an innocent cow, that he used to **** and poke.
My mind filled with confusion, and his filled with lust.
He took another part of me with each and every ******.

Tears like elegant pearls gracefully danced down my face,
I peered into his soul with a firm look of disgrace.
His cold touch like a vacuum, ******* out the life in me.
His ears were wide open, but he wouldn't hear my plea.

Standing there in the night, so scared, so exposed.
I was covered by a veil of darkness, like satin petals of a rose.
The glowing moon looked down at me, peaking through a massive blanket of stars.
I could touch it; it seemed so close, but it was really oh so far.

Worse than at the doctor; he injected me with filth and dirt.
His intention was deliberate; it was very clear and overt.
It is a bit funny that a piece of **** is all he'll ever be,
And the only thing that he accomplished doing in life-is me.

Sometimes late at night I simply can't fall sleep,
Thinking about how my innocence is no longer mine to keep.
What some can only imagine in their worst possible nightmare,
Is my gruesome reality that can't be undone nor repaired.

I may have the sweetest smile, glowing between my nose and chin.
But only I know the truth about the deep secrets held within.
I may have the prettiest eyes that have seen more than they should,
And have cried more delicate tears than anyone else ever could.

I may have the kindest heart, but that came with a cost.
It has felt the worst of pains, and experienced the greatest loss.
I cannot change the past, an event to which I succumbed.
But I can focus on the present, and change what is to come.

We are all so different, and yet so much the same.
Everyone, in some way or another, will experience a kind of pain.
Everybody has things they wish not to recall,
Into each life some rain must fall.

Scattered throughout our lives, like a friend that is one of a kind,
Dreary days will steadily approach, bad memories trailing behind.
These dark days are necessary, just as important as the rest,
For if we didn't have the worst, we couldn't recognize the best.
This is a true story about a young girl, who trusted the wrong person, and ended up hurt.
Aesthete Flower Dec 2015
Look at me as you lie to my face
You say you’re fine, while you feel like empty space
I look back and think
When I felt my heart sink
I just wish things were different now
Back then I couldn’t see how
We weren’t really friends
You used me until the very end.
You broke my heart
Ripping it apart
I can’t see where I come into your life as a lie.
You did this to your very self
Close this book, honey and put it on the shelf.
Because we’re never going back
I know it was all an act.
I’m done crying
And I’m done trying
I’m moving along
I’m going to be strong
I hope when you hear these words
You’ll know I’m talking to you.
I want you to know,
Your life is a lie.
Aesthete Flower Dec 2015
If you look beyond my scars
Far, far away
You might just see the happy girl
That's starting to fade away  
Look back to the past
And notice who I was
You'll notice now that who I am, isn't really me
Look beyond my smile,
Beyond my fading face,
Look beyond the pain,
You might just feel the same  
Look past my tears
And past the fallen red blood
Pass all of that
Then you will have fallen  
Fall where I have fell
Then you might notice to
This life I live is nothing
But a show that I put on for you
Look past my fake smile
Past my fake outside
Then you will see what is wrong
Deep, deep inside
Go down deep enough
You might get to my heart
See the crack in it?
You’ll know what fell apart
Travel though my blood
And look up at my skin
You might just see the scars
That show up deep within  
Look beyond the scars
Beyond my fading arm
Maybe then and only then
Will you understand?
Aesthete Flower Dec 2015
Behind the mirror is a girl
Who looks a bit like me?
But I’m a bit more real
And darker inside, see?
She smiles, you would never guess
That inside she cries
And screams and screams in silence
As she lies and lies
Her skin is scared like mine
With deep rivets in her side
The freshest one day old
The hardest one to hide
But no one seems to see
Or hear her as she cries
As each day she withers,
And ever slowly dies…
Aesthete Flower Dec 2015
As she lies bleeding on the floor
She promised she would do no more
Harm to herself she really tried
But even she knew that she had lied
Now she is dying and no one is home
She has no help she is all alone
She wants to get up and fix it all
But there is no one left for her to call
Now as she lies on the floor
She hears everyone calling her a *****
She hears them calling her a cutter ****
Now she wishes she didn’t cut
She wishes the monster would go away
And leave her alone after today
She turns her head towards the mirror
And in it she can see
The monster lying on the floor is her
That monster that she sees, that monster is me.
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